Final girl names, how is it so hard?

[NordicNell]

I love this community so please help me choose our daughter's name from our finalists. You would not believe how difficult it has been to find names that we both like and that work promounciation wise in our three languages (English,French,Finnish).

Please be kind as these are our finalists and I'm already having a lot of anxiety for this. Middle names are Ida and Aurelia that are in our family.

Freya Ida Aurelia - I know this is popular but Freya is a cool nudge to our nordic background. Nn Frey Frey or Ray is nice

Amélie Ida Aurelia - love nn Millie, Mimi, Lili and that also all grandparents can pronounce

Léa Ida Aurelia - popular in France and Finland. The accent might make it a bit confusing but we wouldn't mind both pronounciations Lee-a and Ley-ah.

Other names we loved but didn't work for different reasons: Iris, Frida, Thea, Ella, Vivian, Sylvia, Edith, Lucy

@Challengerice

“How did you decide my name mummy?”

“I asked mumsnet, an anonymous chat forum”

Don't be a dick - it's no different to asking family or friends. When you ask someone else for their opinion it can often crystallise what you really want yourself, you don't necessarily go with what someone else thinks.

And @NordicNell - I think Freya goes best with your middle names, with Lea a close second. I love the name Amelie, but don't think it flows quite as well. Any of them will be gorgeous - you could wait until she's here and see what you think suits her best :)

[quote letitgogogo]@Challengerice

When my daughter asks "How did you choose my name mummy?"

"Dunno just liked it"

Yes that's much more thoughtful 😂[/quote]
Or "we listed every single boys name ever invented (it felt like it!) and these were the only two we agreed on but Dad made me change a letter and I was too pregnant to protest.

This is your child. The only chance you get to name her.

Why would choose names you don't like but work everywhere with every part of your heritage?

She will be an individual, not a collective of all you so her name has to be workable for all the family.

OP didn’t say she doesn’t like the names. She said they’re not her favourites.

As someone who grew up in a multilingual family, and spends 3-4 months each year travelling all over the world (some of that travelling will be shared with my children once they’re old enough) I completely understand her. Her circumstances mean it would be more convenient to have an international name that works for her family.

If my own mother couldn’t correctly pronounce my child’s potential name, I wouldn’t be so inclined to use it. It’s not from a lack of trying, it’s because some languages don’t have certain letters or sounds, and you can’t just learn how to say them. I want my parents to be able to pronounce their grandkids’ names.

Hazel or Violet would also be impossible to pronounce properly in any of my first 3 languages. Just because I know how to say them in English, I can’t expect all my relatives to pronounce them correctly.

@CrouchEndTiger12

This is your child. The only chance you get to name her.

Why would choose names you don't like but work everywhere with every part of your heritage?

She will be an individual, not a collective of all you so her name has to be workable for all the family.

Not that the name necessarily has to work for everyone, but I have noticed that I would like DH and I to pronounce it at least somewhat the same, just because it is so much easier. And secondly I'm thinking of my daughter and how if her name was difficult to use in one of her three countries that might not be nice for her, since I'm not sure where we end up living.

But true that grandparents being able to pronounce the name should not be a big concern. Although my mom always pronouncing the name Lily for example with emphasis on the "y" rather than how it's pronounced (lili) would probably get on my nerves after a while

@EileenGC

OP didn’t say she doesn’t like the names. She said they’re not her favourites.

As someone who grew up in a multilingual family, and spends 3-4 months each year travelling all over the world (some of that travelling will be shared with my children once they’re old enough) I completely understand her. Her circumstances mean it would be more convenient to have an international name that works for her family.

If my own mother couldn’t correctly pronounce my child’s potential name, I wouldn’t be so inclined to use it. It’s not from a lack of trying, it’s because some languages don’t have certain letters or sounds, and you can’t just learn how to say them. I want my parents to be able to pronounce their grandkids’ names.

Hazel or Violet would also be impossible to pronounce properly in any of my first 3 languages. Just because I know how to say them in English, I can’t expect all my relatives to pronounce them correctly.

Thank you for this! Makes me feel less crazy.. that is exactly how I feel x

Freya

I like them all but Lea is my least favourite.
Freya and Amelie are both stunning.

I love Freya and Lea. Less keen on Amelie (mainly because I couldn't stand the film) If I had to choose, maybe Freya because the meaning is so wonderful. And I think it flows better with Ida afterwards.

I love Aurelia, it’s on my short list

What about Irena, Alba or Marina?

I LOVE Iris, Frida, Vivian, Sylvia, Edith, and Lucy and would choose any one of these if possible! Freya is a little overdone, Amelie and Lea are very pretty but seem a little dated now? I'd choose either Amelie or Lea over Freya, but I'd choose any of the other names (Iris, Frida, etc) over Amelie or Lea.

Ida Aurelia is also a bit of a mouthful as middle names and they really run into each other... I've said it out loud and it sounds like iderorellia ... Like one long word, if you see what I mean? I'm not saying this to be horrible but because nobody pointed out to me that my daughter's names run into each other and now two years later it drives me crazy. Aurelia Ida is a bit better.

Also, I am from a multilingual family, but I still gave my kids names that I just loved, and friends and family learn to pronounce them. You should chose a name thag you love and not one that's just okay to you.

Aurelia is nicer than all of them, so I’d choose that personally.

Orally is only a problem with Aurélie.

Freya, Léa and Amélie are just meh and dated now.

@hawkehurstgang

Also, I am from a multilingual family, but I still gave my kids names that I just loved, and friends and family learn to pronounce them. You should chose a name thag you love and not one that's just okay to you.

Thanks for good suggestions! Can I ask if you pronounced the names you gave to your kids similarly with your DH? And if not, has it been a problem? And did you end up using a name from your culture or your partners? Lot of the Finnish names I love mean something awful in English so we are a bit unlucky with that..

And also I love the other names I mentioned too, but either they are already taken by friends/family or sound so different in our languages that it just seems like a pain (ee-ris vs eye-ris)

Speaking as someone who has a non-English name that is pronounced differently in English, the country where my mother is from AND the country where my father is from, I wouldn’t worry about it. My mother and father pronounce my name slightly differently and always have.

I live in England, and my name isn’t English and doesn’t even necessarily “work” in English as it’s a foreign sounding name. It genuinely does not and never has bothered me. (In fact, I love the way French people say my name, it sounds really sing-song - none of my family is French.)

And I have always loved having an unusual name. I wouldn’t have wanted a more common name to fit into the country I live in.

Choose the name you love the most. Why does it matter if your mother pronounces it differently, etc? My grandmother used to say my name differently. I honestly liked it.

I really like Ida, and I don't think it's a big deal if you and your husband pronounce it slightly differently. I answer to different pronunciations of my name and it never bothered me as a child - I understood why. What I disliked was people deciding off their own bat to use nickname variants of my name - I'm Elizabeth not Libby! Or Catherine not Cathy!

My eldest is called Léa, we are also a mixed nationality family and chose the name for similar reasons that you mention, but I also loved it. In the UK she does get a mixture of pronunciations and she often has to correct people who call her Lee-a.
We also considered Lena which I think is popular in France at the moment but less common in the UK.

@Qqq67

Speaking as someone who has a non-English name that is pronounced differently in English, the country where my mother is from AND the country where my father is from, I wouldn’t worry about it. My mother and father pronounce my name slightly differently and always have.

I live in England, and my name isn’t English and doesn’t even necessarily “work” in English as it’s a foreign sounding name. It genuinely does not and never has bothered me. (In fact, I love the way French people say my name, it sounds really sing-song - none of my family is French.)

And I have always loved having an unusual name. I wouldn’t have wanted a more common name to fit into the country I live in.

Choose the name you love the most. Why does it matter if your mother pronounces it differently, etc? My grandmother used to say my name differently. I honestly liked it.

Thanks for sharing, that is really interesting! I'm so curious about your name now heh. It is true that an unusual name is actually quite nice sometimes. This is definitely the case with cool Finnish boy names (Otso = bear, Tapio= Forrest god) but unfortunately all the girl names don't have a nice meaning in English at all, or mean something else entirely.

One thing though that we are avoiding is using names with J in the middle: Maija, Lilja, Vilja etc. The j's are pronounced as "y" but we thought it might be too confusing. Maybe it doesnt matter though..

Usually prepared to dislike a few names on each of these lists. But yours are all lovely. You can't go wrong.

@Sosomego

My eldest is called Léa, we are also a mixed nationality family and chose the name for similar reasons that you mention, but I also loved it. In the UK she does get a mixture of pronunciations and she often has to correct people who call her Lee-a. We also considered Lena which I think is popular in France at the moment but less common in the UK.

Oh thanks for sharing! Does anyone call her Lee or is that a non problem? Or does she always need to use the accent?

One thing though that we are avoiding is using names with J in the middle: Maija, Lilja, Vilja etc. The j's are pronounced as "y" but we thought it might be too confusing. Maybe it doesnt matter though..

Eh? A friend of mine is Tanja and she’s 100% British!

There are sufficient E.Europeans here for people to get j = y.

I think you’re massively over-thinking this. The difference between Eyeris and Eeris is nothing. Moreover the U.K’s strong regional accents means names aren’t even pronounced the same from one area to another.

I have French rellies and most of our names are slightly different in French.

You seem to be ruling out lovely names on minor grounds and landing yourself with meh names to please some kind of bland internationalese.

@Marylou2

Usually prepared to dislike a few names on each of these lists. But yours are all lovely. You can't go wrong.

Thanks you're too kind x

Lea or Freya