Overthinking names and going crazy..

[Leeloo1233]

I gave birth to my beautiful daughter recently and she still doesn't have a name. We couldn't agree on a name before she was born and now I think I'm losing my mind overthinking all of our options and it's causing me a lot of anxiety.

I can give you an example of how my brain is working atm:

Lydia - lovely old family name, but what about chlamydia, Aunt Lydia and it being a bible name

Maia - my dh's favourite, but all the endless spelling and pronounciation issues

Olivia/Lily/Amelia - nice but can't use since too common

Elsie - lovely and vintage, but also a nn and only suitable for a little girl?

Matilda - gorgeous strong and old name, but also don't like any of the obvious nicknames, she would be called Tilda which I heard could be 'dildo' in high school

Vivian- too masculine and Vivienne too feminine

How can I possibly decide on a name for my perfect daughter that can have so many negatives included, I don't even know which name I like anymore. Please help :(

It's tough but you just have to pick! Ironically I have always always wanted to use the name Lydia but had two boys and then when I was pregnant with a girl my SIL had a baby and guess what she's called?! The chlamydia thing didn't bother me really, kids will pick something to be mean about even with the most boring of names.

So I had to pick something else and had a similar dilemma to you. I didn't love one really but I chose the one I liked best. My daughter is 18 months old now and I can't imagine her being called Lydia, her name is just right for her.

Clearly I think you should pick Lydia but whatever you choose they will just become that.

Lydia - Lovely and underused. Liddy as a NN when young is very sweet. I wouldn't even think of the chlamidya thing!

Maia - Okay, prefer Maya.

Elsie - agree it works best on younger girls, not so much adults.

Matilda - Love this! I hear Tilly used more as a nickname than Tilda but also wouldn't connect to dildo. Matty also a good nickname.

Vivienne - Not a fan.

I dont think you could go far wrong with Lydia or Matilda both gorgeous names. Or perhaps Claudia which is similar?

To narrow it down, I think you should remove the names that you "can't" use. If you think Vivian is too masculine and Vivienne too feminine, then they shouldn't be up there. Same for Olivia/Lily/Amelia. If you can't or don't want to use them, they shouldn't be on your shortlist.

Which leaves: Lydia, Maia, Elsie and Matilda.

I like Lydia, but you have three concerns listed there, which suggests you wouldn't be happy with it as a first name, where she might be teased. As it's a family name, could you use it as a middle name?

Maia is nice, but I agree that she'll have issues with spelling and pronunciation. (Until I found Mumsnet, I thought both Maya and Maia were always pronounced My-ah!)

Elsie is fine. You could always put Elizabeth on the BC and use Elsie as an everyday name. A lot of Mumsnetters don't like this, but my parents did this with my name and I like having the option of a formal longer name (which I currently use at work) and a shorter nickname I use with friends and family.

Matilda is nice, and it sounds like it's your favourite. She doesn't have to be Tilda, though she might decide to go by it herself. Nicknames don't have to be the obvious ones. You could go with something barely related (Mimi, Tia, Marnie etc...even Maia?) I know an Olivia known as Lia, for example, and a lot of my family have nicknames that don't bear any relation to their actual name.

Out of all the above, I would go with Matilda, with Lydia as a middle name, assuming you haven't already decided on a middle. And maybe use Maia as a nickname.

I only like Matilda out of those.

How about calling her Elspeth as a full name and being Elsie day to day? I don't agree with you about it being only a little girls' name (as would many others who are old enough to remember Elsie Tanner - one of Corrie's greats) but as that's an aspect that bothers you, having a longer name tucked away in the BC might be reassuring. Could also be Eliza or Elizabeth.

What about Mia

It sounds like this is causing you a lot of anxiety. It's so tough in the whirlwind of the newborn period.

On the plus side, please reassure yourself that all your options are absolutely fine! None of them will ruin her life. There is no magic name that everyone loves and has absolutely zero negative connotations to anyone.

I could tell you what I'd pick out of your options, but I don't know if that's really helpful if you're feeling so anxious. Just pick - she will grow into her name, it'll be great.

I like Elsie, with full name Elisabeth or Elspeth. It will sound like a 'grown up' name in 20 years time; it won't be unusual to meet a young woman called Elsie by then.

I also like Lydia and Olivia, and the suggestion of Claudia above.

Melissa
Sofia
Cassia
Lilia
Natalia

I had two of those names on my final list.

I still love the name Lydia! Even though my Dd is 18.

I spelled Vivien with an e as I think that looks feminine but not frilly.

Christ you are overthinking.

Lydia is great, it’s getting quite popular so not an old lady name. I’d go for that.

Maia will be a PITA as 3 different spellings and pronunciation, it’s as common as the other names you cite and is v blah. Matilda is nice too but Again has been v popular - can assure you the many Tildas knocking around are not called Dildo.

Vivien is the usual female spelling (or Vivienne)

Elsie could be short for Elspeth

My grandma was Elsie and it wasn't short for anything?

Elise is nice and obv similar.

I really like Maia and tbh there are only two ways to spell it, I'm sure people would get the hang of it!

Lila, Leila etc instead of Lydia perhaps?

Matilda is ok, Tilda for short.

Olivias, Lilys, Amelias, Elsies & Matildas - are everywhere atm. There are tonnes of them. Unless you LOVE Olivia or Amelia etc. why choose names that seem to be given to 67% of 0-8 year olds?

I would go with Lydia or Vivienne.

Vivienne/Vivien would be my pick

Also, Re Matilda, there are probably a lot of Tillys and Millys atm not to mention about 3 different spellings of Lily are in the Top 100.

How about:

Lucie
Polly
Heidi
Francesca
Louisa
Marie
Marina

Had no idea there was a Lydia in the bible.

Congrats on the arrival of your daughter btw

Have always loved Lydia, doesn't matter what the name is, kids can find something to tease them about so really wouldn't worry about that.
Love elsie, I see it as a name on its own.
Really like matilda, I don't get the connection between tilda and dildo at all 🤔 anyway there's always matty or tilly as nicknames.
Just go with what you love

Lydia is lovely - I have a cousin called that and she has never been teased about chlamydia or it being an “old” name!

Lydia Matilda or Matilda Lydia is gorgeous.

Which name is your “gut” choice, OP? Which do you really want?

Matilda is lovely.

Lydia - lovely old family name, but what about chlamydia, Aunt Lydia and it being a bible name - it's biblical but not as obviously as Samuel or Hannah; I think you're massively overthinking the fact that it happens to rhyme with chlamydia. It's a lovely name.

Maia - my dh's favourite, but all the endless spelling and pronounciation issues - I love it but would always want it to be pn my-a so probably wouldn't use it

Olivia/Lily/Amelia - nice but can't use since too common - but they are lovely. If one is your favourite then use it!

Elsie - lovely and vintage, but also a nn and only suitable for a little girl? - I love Elsie and as your child grows up there will be thousands of Alfie, Freddie, Albie, Milly, Poppy, Maisy type names. She will not stand out at all. Having said that I adore Elspeth and would totally pick that.

Matilda - gorgeous strong and old name, but also don't like any of the obvious nicknames, she would be called Tilda which I heard could be 'dildo' in high school - overthinking it!

Vivian- too masculine and Vivienne too feminine - Vivien is the perfect compromise then!

My Auntie Elsie was 103 when she died.
I definitely don’t see it as just a child’s name.

I have a Matilda. We call her Tilda. Well, she gets called Teabags by us quite a bit! We’ve had nothing but nice comments (I’m sure people who don’t like it just don’t say anything!!)
I vote for Matilda, it’s a well known but not over used name, multiple nicknames can come from it, no pronouncing or spelling issues.
Come join team Matilda!!

Somewhat outing but I have a Lydia Elsie! I couldn’t decide which name to use for the first name and which to use for the second right up until the last minute!
Nobody has ever mentioned the chlamydia reference to me...

Could you have a trial of calling her each name for a day and decide after that?