Same name as cousin

[Clear235]

Would this bother you? Live around 10 mins from each other, will not attend the same school or see each other more than once a week.
It is a family name for me, partner did not agree for DD1 but has agreed for DD2 after realising what the name means to my family, the babies will have different surnames.

I don't think it matters.

@brushlaptop You can't claim 'dibs' on a name, regardless of sentimentality or "personal reasons" whatever they may be. Imagine it the other way round. If someone posted saying "my/my DH's sister/sister-in-law want to claim a name on the chance that she might have another child and that said child might be a girl and that her DH might agree to use the name as a first name this next hypothetical time", we'd tell her to use the name and ignore the other person's demanding nature!

We have the same name of multiple unrelated cousins. So a cousin from my side and a cousin from DH side that have no relationship with one another, but dd is cousins with both. Even that is incredibly annoying. Actual related cousins who will be getting together at family events and have the same name will not be good.

Use the name! Why on earth is it a problem if they have the same name? I really can't see why people get bothered about this.

At the end of the day if you aren't personally bothered or shouldn't matter. I would not want my child to have the same name as their cousin but that's me! Your child you decide!

It not or 😂

I know of three first cousins with the same name, two with the same full name and one with a different surname - all named after their grandfather. They're all ok with it.

I think if they know its a family name for you, and you're using a nickname, it doesn't' have to be a big deal, esp with a different surname. The only issue is will the nickname stick - I know its not the name, but I can see a little girl called Charlie switching to Charlotte in her teens/early twenties. But its not the end of the world - you just have people referring to 'Charlotte Smith' or 'our Charlotte', they'll figure it out.

Lots of name sharing in my family, mostly different generations, though. Think grandma Betty, aunty Lizzie, cousin Beth. If you are choosing a different nickname, be aware that nicknames evolve once they get to school, and Charlotte may well become Charley.

@namechangemarch21

I know of three first cousins with the same name, two with the same full name and one with a different surname - all named after their grandfather. They're all ok with it.

I think if they know its a family name for you, and you're using a nickname, it doesn't' have to be a big deal, esp with a different surname. The only issue is will the nickname stick - I know its not the name, but I can see a little girl called Charlie switching to Charlotte in her teens/early twenties. But its not the end of the world - you just have people referring to 'Charlotte Smith' or 'our Charlotte', they'll figure it out.

But given that names are primarily for identification purposes, that's bloody odd 😂

Cross post!

I have the same name as my cousin and aunt (her mum).
First girl in my DM’s family always have the name.

I personally would choose a different name. Especially seeing as they'll be in one another's lives a lot growing up.

I am in a similar situation. Had DC, two years later my first cousin names their DC the exact same name, which isn't common but it genuinely doesn't bother me in the slightest!

If they were aware you’d use it then fine. Good to have different nn though.

In our family we have 2 half brothers with the same name and 2 cousins with the same name but that was due to the family being estranged for a long time and not aware of the names of the other family members. Cousins who are relatively close should probably not be given the same name.

This used to be extremely common in the past when parents tended to use the same names every generation and had a large number of children. Nobody thought it the least strange and it didn’t cause undue confusion.
Looking at the 1911 Census I found my great grandfather living in the same house as his grandfather, father and first cousin and all these males had the same first second and surnames. None of the many people in this multigenerational household had an entirely original name and this appears to generally be the norm.
If anyone is unsure which Charlotte is referred to they can surely ask! Where’s the problem.
Most outsiders won’t be even aware and if they are, who cares what they think or you have the option of explaining its a treasured family name.
Don’t let the negativity of Mumsnet put you off. Good luck

Since it's a family name already (apart from your cousin) then I think it's absolutely fine to re-use the name. Especially if you are happy to use a nn/full name to differentiate between the two DC when they are together.

We have cousins in our family with the same name but one shortened... think Matthew & Matt. Not an issue at all.

Are the children first cousins or are the parents cousins?

If the former - no. If the latter - possibly ok, depending on age difference and how involved they’d be in each other’s lives.

When I was expecting DC I was worried my cousin, who was due same time, would pick the same name - her DH and my DH have the same background and it’s an obvious name to use that works in both languages. Luckily she didn’t pick that name. But in my worrying I completely didn’t click that the name is almost the same as another cousin’s son - same name origin just a slightly different language variation. It’s not a problem though as the cousin’s son is much older. It was more awkward when I had a pet (first) with the same name as that cousin’s other son, caused much confusion.

I’ve said this before on here. It’s not very imaginative, but it’s not a problem. I have two sets of first cousins and a set of first cousins once removed (I think) with the same names. So my grandparents had - for example -2 grandsons called Peter and a great nephew called Peter, and also 2 grandsons called Paul and a great nephew called Paul. We are a big family, with several more children in each generation with their “own” names.

My nephew was given virtually the same name as ds (one letter different - think Luca/Lucas). I did think FFS when they announced the name, but it isn’t an issue really. We don’t see them very often though as they live in a different country.

When I say the same name one will have the formal name ie, Charlotte and one will be Charlie

Sounds totally fine to me

I have the same name as my cousin, I'm the youngest. It pissed my aunt off. To this day they won't call me by the shortened version that my cousin also uses. They call me by a slightly silly version of my full name.

I hate my name anyway. It was all a waste of time and a load of bad feeling for no reason.

You can't make a person like a particular shortening of their name! Or guarantee they'll want to use the long version.

I would use it as the middle name and choose something else to call them by.