The rights to a name?

[cem90]

We are due with our 2nd daughter in a few months and have narrowed our choices down to 2 names.
We don't tell many people the options but my SIL asked (who I'm close to) so mentioned that one of the names we like is Sophia and that the middle name was going to be Isabelle (after my mum)
She then told me that her next baby name (she's not pregnant or trying) is Sophia Isabella (middle name after her grandmother) and that Sophia had been a potential for one of their current children and was definitely what they are calling their next child.
I told her that we had no idea and it's one of the few names we had both decided on (due to our jobs we are both fussy and it's taken us a long time to come up with two potential names we both like) she got a bit arsey and told me that she would be naming their next child that regardless of whether we do or not.
This was a few weeks back and I still like the name as a potential but now my husband thinks we should remove it from our two options to prevent any arguments.
In my mind though why should we change it - she doesn't have the rights to a name, we didn't know it was one they liked, she's not pregnant and as much as she wants another they don't know they will have one and even if they do who says it will be a girl anyway! If it was the other way round I'm positive they wouldn't change it for us.
The middle names will be similar regardless as they are family names but she and now my husband make me feel like I'm being out of order wanting Sophia as a potential name! But why should I remove it off my list?
Would love an outsiders perspective x

She has no right to get arsey. However, she is your sister in law so whilst you should still use Sophia, maybe change the middle name as it will look like you’re being spiteful (I’m not saying you are btw). She just said that she would still use the name, so be prepared for that if you use it. I, personally, would still use a name I loved even if a family member used it.

@Crankley 😂😂😂😂

I don't think there's an issue here.

She's already said that she will still use that name even if you have used it, so she doesn't mind if there are two cousins with that name.

There's only a problem if you have a problem with it.

Historically, cousins often had the same names as people were usually named after relatives.

Please just use the name you like. She may well change her mind anyway before she needs another girl's name, but if she does go with the same name, there will be two children with the same first name, a fairly similar middle name which will rarely if ever be used, I'm guessing not with the same surname, and not in the same year at school (if they even go to the same school). It's not going to cause anyone any confusion or inconvenience.

I reckon your names (lovely) hadn't even entered her thoughts but the minute she heard them, she loved them and tried to bagsy them. She's a CFer trying her luck. Ignore her and go ahead with your choices. She's the one that'll sound deranged when/IF she has another girl and keeps the exact name as yours (without switching them around). I guarantee she'll be bad mouthing anyone that she can get hold of and accuse you of 'stealing' her names. I'd keep schtum on anything else around her going forwards.

Ignore her . Name your baby whatever you please and let the silly madam do the same when her time comes.
That said; I'd be concerned at your dh suggesting you indulge her nonsense, what's that about?

If she liked the name so much she should have used it for one of her two existing DDs.

Also, Sophia is such a popular name anyone who uses it will expect to encounter others with the name.

So I wouldn't be inclined to change your name for a hypothetical daughter of someone who already has two daughters.

You'd still need DH to agree to use the name though!

If you like it, use it. No-one owns a name. Plus she’s not even pregnant, may only have boys, or may change her mind.

Balls to her. If you love the name then use it.

Our 3rd daughter and our niece share a middle name, ours is older. My SIL called her son one of the names we would have used if our twins had been boys. All our children's names begin with different letters so we wouldn't use it if we had another boy anyway. We are keeping current babys name a secret until after birth.