Waiting until after baby arrives? Baby's gender unknown...

[CheshireeeCattt]

Hi all,

We decided to keep the baby's gender as a surprise, so only one person in the whole world knows (sonographer). Unfortunately, this makes the whole name list thing quite tricky...!

We have 12 weeks left, but neither of us seem to be able to actually 'like' a name, lots seem 'ok'. We don't want a name beginning with 'A', because both our names do, but that's about all we know.

Those of you that left naming until baby arrived, how did it go?

I thought most people did this!

We had a surprise (boy) and had prepared a shortlist with our top 3 boys and girls names. We chose the name we felt suited him best.

I don't regret our decision, I'm now pregnant again and we won't be finding out the sex this time either!

I've known the sex of 3 out of my 4 before birth but didn't name any of them until we saw them.
DC1 & 3 we quickly chose, DC2 and 4 took longer.. dc2 took 2wks.

We didn't know the sex of our baby either, so had a shortlist of our favourites for both and decided to wait and see which one seemed to fit best. Found choosing a boys name very hard. Luckily we had DD do more to choose from.

I didn't know the sex of either of mine until they were born and we didn't have names in mind.
I don't really understand how you can pick a name before hand. I think you need to wait and see if a name suits the child.

Thanks for your replies but I probably should've made myself clearer!

What I meant was, we don't even have a list... most people I see posting, or know in real life, tend to either a) have a few names they know they like, or b) have a specific name they know they like.

We literally don't really like anything, and waiting until baby arrives to even discuss it seems strange to me, maybe because there are literally thousands of possible names, and having not even narrowed it down to boy or girl seems overwhelming!

Make a list of the ok names then.

@Beamur

Make a list of the ok names then.

We tried, but every time we go to add something, something else comes off, quite often the list is blank...!

You have not one name.???
We named after our daughters arrived but we had a short list

Not very helpful but first DC I just knew was a girl even though we never found out so I only really found a girls name I liked. 2nd DC I was 75% sure she was a girl and was right but we had picked a unisex name that was spelt differently depending on sex.

I would try and make a list. You will be feeling exhausted and most probably a little overwhelmed once you’ve had the baby and starting from scratch may feel a little overwhelming.

A little emotional**

I made a list of girl/boy names and decided that when I look at him/her there will be one from the list that suits.
I had a gut feeling about having a girl, although tiny and the name I really liked.Then I realized it sounds very similar to MIL's name.I had a second favourite and when she was born and my DH said it out loud,I loved the sound of it and it suited her perfectly.

Definitely try to make a list of ok names for both sexes. Even if it means you look at the list when s/he arrives and say "urgh, no" to all of them it might spark a line of thought. It is tricky. If DD had been a boy I don't know what we'd have called her as we had a very loose, meh, list. So I completely understand!
I know it's old fashioned but you can get baby name books pretty cheaply, why don't you buy one each and a pack of highlighters and go through them on your own as yes, no, maybe? Then compare notes.

The only name I know I've liked in the last few months has been Felix, which my boyfriend didn't like, as he knows 2 people with the name, and doesn't like the association with the cat food cat!

We don't really like fussy or American style names, i.e... Blake, Hudson, Lex, Anabelle, Clarissa, etc.

Or 'normal' names, i.e John, Oliver, Lucy, Jessica, etc.

Not sure what we are looking for?!

@Heyha

Definitely try to make a list of ok names for both sexes. Even if it means you look at the list when s/he arrives and say "urgh, no" to all of them it might spark a line of thought. It is tricky. If DD had been a boy I don't know what we'd have called her as we had a very loose, meh, list. So I completely understand! I know it's old fashioned but you can get baby name books pretty cheaply, why don't you buy one each and a pack of highlighters and go through them on your own as yes, no, maybe? Then compare notes.

Thanks for understanding where we are coming from, so many people I've spoken to in person about this just think we are being difficult or stupid about it...

We just don't think choosing a name is an easy decision to make, and by not even 50/50ing it down to girl or boy names means all names in the world are open to be an option!

Looking at some lists online, it seems like normal words are becoming names more and more often, i.e Sage. I've never met or heard of anyone being called Sage, to me it's a colour, so I get a bit exasperated!

Maybe I can do an hour or two of searching and anything I immediately think "maybe", just add on the list... my concern is having 200 names and getting more annoyed after baby arrives because we still can't choose

P.S the baby name list on this website legit has the name "Rabbit" on it!!!

I wish I had been on MN before DD was born. There are posters on here with brilliant ideas.
Come up with maybe 3 or 4 names you vaguely like, add in your requirements (no A names, no traditional names, no American sounding names) and see what you get.

Use an online name generator where you input names you like and it will give you similar options - try nameberry.com (appears to be out of action temporarily) or pampers seem to have one on their website also
www.pampers.com/en-us/pregnancy/baby-names/find-your-baby-name

You’ve still got a lot of time left to decide. At 28 weeks I don’t think I had a list either. Eventually we ended up with a very short shortlist (of 2/3 names per gender) and even then I wasn’t in love with all of them on the list. But once she was born she just looked like a certain name and that was that

OK, nothing too ordinary/normal, nothing fussy, nothing American. Do any of these spark your interest? I think these might fit your criteria.

Dominic
Ethan
Ellis
Max
Joel
Seth
Gavin
Nathan
Zachary

Lara
Tess
Heidi
Zara
Ellen
April
Dinah
Nicole
Saskia

Get a baby name generator app. There’s one called kinder. (It’s a bit like tinder but for names).
You and DP both log in and swipe the ones you like and it tells you when you get a match.

Don't use a random baby name list. Go through the ONS data www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/bulletins/babynamesenglandandwales/2019 - if you scroll down to section 7 on the website there are two spreadsheets, one for boys, one for girls. There is a tab which lists every name that's been used at least 3 times in the UK in 2019.

This will show you how popular names are and will give you a more realistic list of names that people actually use for their children. Random web lists or comments on Mumsnet can be full of some pretty out-there examples that obviously a very small percentage of people use!

Gavin 🤣🤣🤣

Have a try with this website op:

www.namedtogether.com/

We had a suprise (DS)but only had 1 boy's name and 1 girls name we liked. The twins we found out (boys again) and we'd agreed two days before they were born what the second would be called (we'd already agreed the first)

I don't get the "what they look like" thing. They looked like red babies with dark hair and dark blue eyes. Now they're pink babies with mousey coloured hair and light blue eyes. In 15 years they'll possibly have lighter or darker hair, not sure when eye colour settles but I assume by 1, they might be fat or thin with long or short hair.
So in the moment after birth I might have thought they looked like Agamemnon and Darwin bit that might not last the month....

@finallychangedmyusername

OK, nothing too ordinary/normal, nothing fussy, nothing American. Do any of these spark your interest? I think these might fit your criteria.

Dominic
Ethan
Ellis
Max
Joel
Seth
Gavin
Nathan
Zachary

Lara
Tess
Heidi
Zara
Ellen
April
Dinah
Nicole
Saskia

Thank you for taking the time on the names, but we wouldn't consider any of them at all, they would all be on the "no" list for us!