Waiting until after baby arrives? Baby's gender unknown...

[CheshireeeCattt]

Hi all,

We decided to keep the baby's gender as a surprise, so only one person in the whole world knows (sonographer). Unfortunately, this makes the whole name list thing quite tricky...!

We have 12 weeks left, but neither of us seem to be able to actually 'like' a name, lots seem 'ok'. We don't want a name beginning with 'A', because both our names do, but that's about all we know.

Those of you that left naming until baby arrived, how did it go?

ONS list as someone has mentioned. Have a rough shortlist then when baby is born look at them and see what you think.

We had two top boy names and used neither in the end and instead went back to something we’d toyed with. Suits DS perfectly. It did take us 4 days to name him but that’s ok too you don’t have to decide immediately.

I second looking at the ONS lists or top 1000 names. Look separately and make a list of names which are ok and see what names are on both lists.

Have a look at the many threads on here of people's top 3/5 names for boys or girls or the 'if you had a boy/girl tomorrow what would you call them threads'. You'll see random names on there that might not come up otherwise.

Why don't you tell us some of the names you and your DP have previously considered ok? Might help give us an idea of your style.

How about you pick a starter name for both a boy and girl, and if you find one you and your boyfriend both prefer, update it to that. Each name will be more suitable than the one before. So for starters:

Griselda
Ebenezer

If you don't like those, choose some you like more, even if it's only by a small margin. So let's say you've updated them to

Brenda
Brayden

Then if those aren't for you, pick some you both prefer, and repeat as necessary. You might not think 'yes that's the one' at any point but the last few you come up with should be some you both like

I don't get the "what they look like" thing

Me neither. As far as I'm concerned all newborns look like an Alan or a Gordon. Including the girls.

@Persipan 😂 true

I think the 'what they look like' thing, is less to do with what they look like and more 'how you feel about them once they are real/in your arms'.

@CheshireeeCattt you have to start somewhere so each of you make a list of ideas. Have an open mind and consider each other's lists then combine the lists to make one. Draw upon family names if need. Also it's important to remember, it's just a name. It might seem like a big deal now but unless you call them Unicorn Flange Persipan it will just be a regular thing after a while. My first two were surprises but we had a short list of ideas for boy/girl. The third we knew ahead of time so had a short list for the gender but decided for definite once he was out and breathing O2 😂 This one is known as well but again have a short list drawn up for when she arrives. The weird thing is your attitude to names changes. For instance names I wouldn't have considered before are now on my radar and names I always loved before I've gone off. 🤷‍♀️ Good luck OP!

What sort of names did you have on your 'a bit meh,but possible list'? Even if you have since ruled them out.

I believe there's also an app that's similar for tinder but with baby names which will create a list both you and your partner 'swipe right' on.

Thanks for the ONS suggestion, and the other link to the Welsh/English/Scottish names - had a good laugh about what years have the worst/best names!

For reference, names that are currently on the 'ok' list, but we don't feel that strongly on;

• Felix (boyfriend said no, but I still really like it)
• Jasper
• Lily

Name we think fall under the similar sort of 'feel', but aren't as keen on;

• Oscar
• Isabelle
• Lucas
• Chester

Max
Alec
Kaspar

Lila
Olivia
Eleanor

I made a list in my phone of maybe names for both sexes. Most were maybes but the ones I liked more I would add a star (and remove a star) regularly depending on my feelings on the day. I kept adding names. Only got rid of those I decided were definite no's. Ended up double starring a few and was still undecided until labour for my second.

Our daughters due in 11 days and we haven't decided on a name, we don't have a short list. I worked with a woman who took about 4 weeks to decide a name for her daughter, all her children follow a pattern (first letter, number of letters etc) You've a while to go yet. Have you looked for inspiration from family, films, books, music?

We didn’t have any shortlisted name for DC3, who is a boy. Took us almost 3 weeks to name him but his name suits him perfectly.

Honestly, you might have to end up going with something on your "ok" list. Don't worry about it too much. You have time after the baby's born anyway .

With dc1 we had names lined up (also didn't know girl or boy), but with dc2, we literally decided as he was born (csection). The surgeon and all the theatre staff helped us choose. Was really fun naming him after he was born. It is fine.

Zoe
Imogen
Elspeth

Gabriel
Casper
Adam

We used names from our “okay” list and called the (unborn) baby that for a week and then swapped to another one to see if the names grew on us.

E.g. I’d say “Jasper is kicking a lot today”, and next week and I’d say “Felix is kicking a lot today”.

I guess it might feel weirder if you don’t know the gender.

Your surname I hope OP?

Haha, looks like I missed the mark the first time.... no worries OP!

I do love a challenge though, so some more suggestions, based on the shortlist of maybes (Felix/Jasper/Lily/Oscar/Isabelle/Lucas/Chester):

Jacob
Isaac
Zachary
Max
Alex/Alexander

Elodie
Esme
Violet
Amelia
Eliana
Aurelia
Aurora
Rosalie

Good luck with choosing a name. Keep searching, it's out there!

Perhaps consider finding out the sex? Up to you but it might help to focus your thoughts if you can remove 50% of the names.

It’s a good idea to have a shortlist but even if you don’t it’s really fine. You have six weeks to decide on a name and even longer at the moment. As long as you won’t feel pressured to announce a name quickly - post birth hormones are not conducive to good decisions.