Feel like I chose the wrong name!

[pigglepot]

All the way through my pregnancy my favourite name for my daughter was Iris. All the letters I wrote to her whilst I was pregnant are addressed "Dear Iris" and we found out halfway through that it was my husbands Nans name too! Towards the end of my pregnancy I had totally overthought it and all of a sudden couldn't stop thinking of Isis when I heard Iris and suddenly the fact that it was a family name became a negative too!! Then when she was born she didn't "look" like an Iris. My hormones were all over the bloody shop so I couldn't decide on a name and it became so stressful as it's all anyone asks you. Finally we decided on Violet which was a bit of whim and I was deciding between the two right up until the morning we registered. Long story short she's now called Violet and half the time I'm not even sure if I like the name as it reminds me a bit of old ladies! And the worst part is that I'm now pregnant again and would love to use Iris if it's a girl but then that would be two flower names which is surely a bit twee?! How do I stop obsessing that I've named her the wrong name and, if I do have another girl, is Violet and Iris too much of a theme?! Help!

My Nan and her sisters all had flower names and I think they sound lovely together. There was:

Violet
Iris
Lily
Ivy
Daisy

An easy way to solve this would be to read a novel with a Violet in it or to watch a move with Violet; basically create another nice association to it on top of your beautiful daughter.
Doubting your choice just shows you’re probably a bit stressed and that you care :) Don’t doubt, it’s often in the spur of the moment that we make the best decisions. And if Iris made you think of Isis, it’s a difficult negative reference to push away, you would have regretted all the same!
Ditch the name Iris, it’s not for your children.
Pick a different one for your DD2.
And enjoy the beautiful name you’ve already picked for DD1 :)

I think Violet and Iris would be lovely.

Nothing twee about it! They are both absolutely beautiful names.

I would however take your time in deciding once baby arrives this time so that you aren't feeling that same pressure as you did the first time around. I can totally relate to what you say, I'd also a favourite name throughout pregnancy and then when she was born, I ummed and ahhed, decided she didn't look like that name and went with my husband's preferred name instead - and yes, sometimes I feel like I don't completely love it - but I do like her whole name and it does absolutely suit her down to the ground. Funnily enough her middle name is actually Violet! We've not yet been fortunate enough to fall pregnant with a second but if we do get there I will definitely be taking my time on name choosing!

I actually think Violet and Iris go beautifully together - good choices!

@BathroomWork

How old is Violet? You could always change her name.

Old enough that she's about to become a big sister! Is this for real - this casual attitude to changing the perfectly nice name by which a toddler is known by everyone in her life and is written on her birth certificate, cards, mementoes...

OP, the names are lovely together for sisters. It's up to you how you feel about "reusing" Iris when it sort of belonged to your eldest.

@florafoxtrot this is exactly how I feel I think! I do love her whole name it's so pretty but as it maybe wasn't my first choice it somehow doesn't always resonate with me. I think it might also partly be that we call her a nickname at home and because of lockdown I haven't really heard many people use her name. I'm sure when she's at nursery/school and has her own friends it will feel a lot more hers

@Liana2021 that's actually really lovely advice! I did actually first come across the name in a book as it was a characters daughters name! Now I just need to find a book/show with A Violet!