Name Regret

[wanderlove]

I keep coming back to my daughter's name and fixating on it. The name we'd chosen for her didn't fit and we called her Rosie. It wasn't a name we'd spoken about before and although I don't dislike it at all I sort of feel neutral about it. When I'm feeling more balanced I like to think of it as the name found her but when I am feeling unbalanced I feel really sad that she hasn't got a name I love. I really love my daughter and have really bonded with her, so I try and think of the name as summing her up. She's 15 months at the moment and I think it's getting worse not better. Everyone else in the family loves her name and she does suit it so it's not an option to change it. I was hoping to hear some advice really from anyone who has felt this way and things you did that helped

I chose Andrew, after my husband and I loved it. Until everyone started calling him AJ (junior) he isn't a junior, it's not on his birth certificate. He's 15 months old too and he goes by AJ, I can't really do anything about it. I did ask everyone to call him Andrew but did they? Nope!

It's grown on me but I certainly do not love it and I'll continue calling him Andrew as he gets older, if he really wants to be AJ then so be it.

Only advice I can say is, I think once you watch them grow into the name it does start to help

Thank you that is what I'm hoping. I haven't even told a soul because I would hate for her to ever know that I didn't love her name (or any aspect of her). It's just over the last few weeks it's gone from being a little niggle to something I think about a lot.

How about just changing it a bit? Rosa, Rosalie, Rosalind, Rosamund, Rosita.

@meltedgalaxy my 3yo is Andrew too, a few folk call him AJ as a shortening in messages (andrew James) but really glad it hasn't properly stuck! Hes definitely an Andrew. What really drives me crazy is the assumption he will be an Andy before too long, not by me he won't!!! Apparently that's my fault though for giving him a name with such a popular shortening. What's wrong with just Andrew!!!

I wonder about changing but the problem is don't really like any the 'Rose' names you mentioned that would be easy to change but keep Rosie as A nickname with both options. I love her middle name which is Skye and I actually like the name as a whole 'Rosie Skye' but not Rosie by itself.

What was the name you wanted? I think Rose and Rosie are lovely. Is she actually called Rosie or is it a version of rose. Just rose is a bit more adult.

Call her Rosie-Skye then op as long as you do it before she starts preschool and school it will stick

She's called Rosie and I know it's a personal taste thing but I probably do prefer Rosie to both Rose and the other options like Rosa or Rosalind etc. I just don't quite know how to make peace with it

I honestly couldn't think of another name at the time. I don't regret not calling her the name we had picked out but my mind went blank and I think we just rushed it.

I had that to a degree but the older my dd has got the more she has fitted her name. It’s now her name. I love her but not entirely her name but that’s ok. I don’t need to absolutely love her name but I do absolutely love her. It’s one of those things that I’ve just adapted to and I try not to give head space to.

I wouldn't admit this is real life, but I went through this with both my children. As they get older the name is them and represents them, rather than the other way around, so you begin to love it again.

You do have the choice to tell everyone she's going by her middle name. My sister had this through her childhood, we called her by her middle name at home and at school she was her legal first name. She chose her first name fully in the end, and that worked out fine.

I know two men who go by their middle names as a choice. If you'd prefer to call her Skye, then do it! Or, as a PP said, call her Rosie-Skye.. then gently phase out the Rosie, people will go along with your guidance (or at least know who you're talking about!). Your daughter will eventually choose her own variant anyway!

I have 2 DDs and love DD1s name but I am very neutral on DD2. I always said to DH I was neutral, but I just couldnt find one I loved, so when she was born we just went with jt. She is 10 weeks now and I have found myself slightly adjusting her name and I like it better (think Sandra to Sandy). Maybe she will just fit a version of her name over time. It's ok to be neutral. I have just accepted it.

How about not actually changing her name but calling her Skye? Quite a few people are known by their middle name.

I thought I was having a boy (guessing) and picked out a boy name. My ex chose a girls name and I couldn't think of any.
His pick was Miley (yes after the singer) it's never been a favourite of mine but I love her so much that she IS Miley so therefore I LOVE Miley. It's only when I talk to someone new that I get a little 😬 when I say 'this is Miley' but the older I get the less I could give a f* and she loves her name so it's all good

I thought you were thinking about calling your child Regret. (Wanders off....)

Oh god neolara that would truly be an awful name.

I really love my daughter and have really bonded with her

In the nicest possible way - this is what is important. Her name doesn’t really matter all that much. And she has a nice one. It’s a lovely, classic name. And it’s hers.

I felt like that with my youngest’s name, spent a long time on here searching to see what others thought. I’m back to loving it again because it is who she is.

I am hoping as people say that as she gets older the name will
Become so 'her' that I love it just encapsulates her. I like the idea of calling her Rosie Skye and then seeing if Skye sticks. My sister is actually called by her middle name---I'll have to ask my mum how they came about. I feel if I called her Rosie Skye then maybe she could chose as she got older. One of my big fears is I've somehow failed her by not giving her the 'right' name. Everyone's feedback has been really useful

I felt like that with one of my sons because we were really stuck on names and being felt like we were pushed for a choice. I didn't have any other name ideas either and it took about two years to get over it. But now I love it and don't regret it at all, his name is Henry

BTW I love Rosie, one of my Favourite girls names

NataliaOsapova
I really know that and try to remind myself how lucky I am and try and give myself a little shake. I feel like I am obsessing a little...and it is just a name. And hers. And I love her dearly so no real
Problem there I know.

I love Rosie, my own Rosie is an adult now and I think that it's a name that ages well as it has suited her at all stages. Dd loves her name as well which is always a bonus. FWIW Rosie was the first name I picked but just before she was born I was going to call her Holly but everyone had got used to the idea of her being Rosie so stuck with it. Now I look back and I'm glad I did.

I think when they are little you really focus on the name. As they get older the name just represents them. I'm glad to know I'm not alone and it's encouraging to know other people have moved on after feeling this.

We have three DC. Eldest DC is 13 and I'm still meh about their name. Middle DC we absolutely nailed, perfect name. Youngest DC I'm pretty happy with, although not as much as middle.DC. But none of this even features in my top 100 parenting worries or regrets! It's only a name - Rosie is a lovely name without any negatives so I really would try to stop worrying.