Name Regret

[wanderlove]

I keep coming back to my daughter's name and fixating on it. The name we'd chosen for her didn't fit and we called her Rosie. It wasn't a name we'd spoken about before and although I don't dislike it at all I sort of feel neutral about it. When I'm feeling more balanced I like to think of it as the name found her but when I am feeling unbalanced I feel really sad that she hasn't got a name I love. I really love my daughter and have really bonded with her, so I try and think of the name as summing her up. She's 15 months at the moment and I think it's getting worse not better. Everyone else in the family loves her name and she does suit it so it's not an option to change it. I was hoping to hear some advice really from anyone who has felt this way and things you did that helped

@wanderlove Sorry - I didn’t mean to sound hectoring. I just don’t think it’s something to focus on, especially if it could spoil your time with your lovely DD. You’re spot on that, over time, that name becomes “them”. If I’m honest, I don’t absolutely love my DD’s name (bit of a compromise with my DH). But she likes it and it’s “her”. So please try not to worry about it.

You will move on, my dd is 19 and I'm not even sure how she got her name it certainly wasn't on my list, I was totally convinced we were having a boy and hadn't given the girl names much thought. My exes best mate nabbed the one name I liked for his dd who was born 2 months before so that was off the list think I've only ever met the child twice in 19 years but dd suits her name and she likes it so the fact that I wished i'd called her Aeryn is long forgotten

I totally relate to this OP but funnily enough, the name that I wish I'd called my DD is Rosie. At the time I was convinced I was having a boy and hadn't really thought of any girls names and looking back I rushed into it. I should of taken my time. I do like my daughter's name, it's just I don't love it. She's 5 now and she has grown into it and it does suit her.....but I do still really love Rosie and that name would of suited her perfectly 😊. Congratulations on your lovely Rosie btw!

I love both my children’s names and thought that I had thought up all the possible nicknames. I hadn’t, and that’s the name my husbands family call the baby. It makes my teeth itch.

I think Rose is a lovely name.

I felt the same when my youngest was about to be christened. But I went through other Name options and none of those actually fit. So it helped me realise that the name we’d chosen was actually the right one.

Funnily enough I wish my own name was Rosie!! @CiderWithRosy

@wanderlove I think maybe this is going down the OCD route. There is no perfect name in existence. You have not failed her as you have no idea what her personality will be like when she grows up. You cannot predict what she will consider the perfect name for herself. You could spend days and days and months and months but you would be no closer.

You have given her a gorgeous name. Try and move on from this.
If she prefers her middle name when she's a bit older , she can use it day to day. Plenty of people do that and it's even easier now with social media etc to clearly let all your friends know what you'd like to be "known as"

You may find a nn appears naturally. My ds acquired a nn at a few months old. At 6 he rarely gets his actual name.
Usually just at the school gates!!

Even if you don't love her name you certainly haven't failed her by naming her Rosie. It's not unusual, its easy to spell and not embarrassing. That makes an excellent name.

I also really like Rosie too (maybe nickname of Row?)

Thank you everyone for the replies. I think it's really helped just expressing my feelings as I've been stifling them. We do actually call her 'Row' or 'row row' as a nickname. It's good to hear some reason as being alone with your thoughts in your head can make them bigger. We chose Rosie because it seemed simple, pretty and old-fashioned. My other half really loves it. Thr most important thing is how she feels; she's too little to know but her family and sisters seem to love it. It does really suit her and I wouldn't want to change it as it already seems 'her' name. Thank you for the perspective everyone.

@wanderlove hi my step-daughter is Rosalie but she's always ended up being called Rosie. Now she's 12 she's decided she prefers Rose. You'll probably finds it changes as she grows up.

When I worked in Preschool there were quite a few children with 'known as' names. It's more common than you think to have a change of heart. I'd bite the bullet and jut pick a date and say from now on we shall be calling her This and when you register her school etc make sure you tell them the 'known as' name. It really won't be a problem x