Baby name regret

[TinyJJ]

Hello
I'm new here and looking for some advice.
I had a little boy just over 3 weeks ago. We couldn't decide on a name whilst pregnant and even whilst I was in hospital waiting for a bed on the labour ward to be induced, we were looking at baby name lists. My other half didn't like any of my suggestions. He had one name he liked which I didn't. With my daughter naming her was easy and we both agreed on a name before she was born.

My son was born and it took us 3 days to name him but even then I wasn't 100% on the name we have chosen. I felt pressured to decide on a name as we were having people asking us 'have we got a name yet' and the names I loved, my other half didn't and I felt like I had no choice but to agree to this name.
Now he's just over 3 weeks old and I'm really struggling with his name. I feel like I can't call him it and it's affecting me bonding with him. When I hear someone say it I cringe and I'm really upset about it all. I've spoken to my other half about it and he isn't keen at all to change his name and keeps saying 'it's a lovely name' and 'that's his name now'. He's worried about telling people his name has been changed whereas I don't care about that as people will forget and what with covid, nobody has properly met him.
The problem is I don't really have a definite name I would want instead. My other half has said what do you want to change it to and I don't know. I like classic, traditional but not common names. Nearly all the names I've suggested my other half has said no to (Albert and Rupert as examples). Since he's been born I really like the name Edward, with nn Ted but I feel like I know my other half will say no. His middle name is fine but is a family name so I don't want this to be used as a first name. I would also be happy to keep his current first name as a middle name so he has two middle names because it's not that I dislike the name, I just feel like it doesn't fit him as his first name. Plus keeping it as a middle name still gives him what he was identified as for 3 weeks.
I look at my son and think I love him so much and he's such a beautiful baby but I really dislike his name and I'm really annoyed with myself and frustrated that I can't get past this. It's consuming me.
What do I do? Do I seriously push to change his name or do I leave it?
Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation and if anyone on here did change their child's name? I'm in the UK.
Thank you

Both boys names work with Nancy OP, even though they are different in style. Edward is a "can't really go wrong" name - lots of namesakes/history, is traditional/won't date, has lots of nicknames and thus is popular for a reason. Chester is more trendy (doesn't Holly Willoughby have a Chester?) but he's more likely to be the only one in his class, it has a fairly pleasant sound and is well known enough that it shouldn't raise any eyebrows. It really is a case of what you and your DP like best, I think you need to have a long and honest discussion - good luck!

I completely empathise with you OP. I could have written your post word for word. I couldn’t find a name that I loved or that clicked as much as DC’s. I cringed when I heard someone saying his name or when I had to introduce him and I wanted to change it but couldn’t think of a name I loved enough to change it to. I obsessed over it and felt like I was letting him down by not finding ‘the right’ name to do him justice. His name was my husbands all time favourite and we decided to keep it. It took me 2.5 years for it to begin to feel right. DS absolutely loves his name now and do you know what, so do I!
In hindsight, I think it was more to do with PND/PNA than anything else. I would have probably suffered with name regret if I changed it too. Each name comes with its own pros and cons and is beautiful in its own right. For what it is worth I think Chester is a beautiful name, whatever you decide to do he will grow into his name and you will come to love it.
Feel free to DM me if you need to chat. I drove myself mad with this daily, for years - I feel your pain . X

Ah such a tricky situation OP. I was kind of the same, the name we chose was a name we both loved but everyone else didnt. I used to cringe when telling people I knew wouldn't like it. But now (shes 8 weeks) its settled and my emotions have settled. Everyone knows her as her name and shes actually had a lot of compliments! I think in your position i would maybe lean toward changing it. Hes so young, everyone will forget. I knew someone who told me her mum changed her name when she was a baby, she much preferred what she changed it too so that's good! Haha

Think Davina McCall has a Chester

I was in a similar position as you OP. I loved my dd's name before she was born, then started to hate it just after she was born but had no other options that I liked. As PP said, I think it was more PND than actually hating her name, but 9 months in I cant imagine her being called anything else - although she does have a multitude of nicknames already!
You need to go with your gut, if you want to change it, then speak to DP, I love Edward/Ted.

I went through similar. Me and DH couldn't agree on a name and went with his choice that I sort of liked when our daughter was born.

For some reason I hated the name when she was 2 weeks old but we kept it as I didn't want to complicate things. A couple weeks later and I came up with a nickname that I loved so called her that instead of her name. Few months later I ended up absolutely loving the name and now it is my favourite name ever! I'm so glad we kept it and she's definitely grown into it.

Not that it matters, but I like Chester more than Edward as Edward is very common and I find it boring, whereas Chester seems interesting. My opinion on the names is irrelevant, of course!

We didn’t name my eldest until the 21st day limit as we couldn’t decide. It felt like so much pressure and I just wanted to relax with my new baby, not fret about it! So same length of time you are at now op, just pretend you were trying out Chester for a while and now you are choosing the real name.

On the other hand, I haven’t gotten names that I love for my children (one middle name) - the rest are compromises that I like. Especially my eldest’s name is spelled in a way I don’t like as a rule, but I compromised. I don’t think it’s possible to name a baby without some compromise, unless you’re lucky enough like some to have a partner who is easy about it. And can recognise that because you grew and pushed the thing out you should get to name it bitter/not bitter

Nancy is a TOP name.

Nancy and Ted sound great.

It's upsetting that your OH is upset though.

It isn't that uncommon to change a baby's name. My friend changed her DS's name after about 6 weeks, I think.

I personally really like Chester, especially with Nancy they both sound so cool and hipster which I like!

Love both Edward and Chester. A hard choice

It's really not a big deal to change a name by the way. People might raise eyebrows for one second but no one is as interested or invested as you are in your child's name I promise

Chester is a (vair naice) town in the North West.

I don't think you should call him Edward it Chester. You each need to sit down with a baby book and write down names you like and find one that works for both of you.

Fwiw as I always suggest it, I offer Benedict.
Beautiful, Quirky and classic, can be named Ben or Ned. And means "blessing", which every baby boy is.

I like both names OP. Chester is traditional but uncommon and goes well with Nancy. But again not my baby.

I do prefer Edward to Chester, although Chester isn’t a bad name - I think it’s one of those names like Ernest or Sidney that are also getting quite trendy that just don’t suit a small baby, but aren’t so bad once the boy is around 2 or 3. But if it’s causing you this much angst I’d say definitely change it as it is not the right name for him.

Love Edward, Nancy and Ted sound great together.

Difficult! I really loved Dd's name but a few days after she was born I wished we'd gone for another option. I still feel like that. With ds, my dh chose from our list of options, left the hospital, an hour later I messaged him saying sorry he's not an X he's a Y. I still love his name. Luckily my dh agrees it suits him more. If you want to change it I think you should, as long as it doesn't make your dh feel how you feel now.

I'm sorry but Chester is just awful, like a bulldog or something. I completely agree withyou - please please take advantage of him being upset and change it to Edward!

Nancy and Ted/Ned is great.

Keep Chester as a middle name if you must.

Not impressed at all with your partner pushing you into that when you were recovering from the birth. Assume the baby is having his surname too?! - and that you haven't registered yet?

Nobody will care at all after two weeks. I know someone who changed after a couple of months - totally forgotten now.

Chester doesn't sound 'traditional' at all, even though technically it might be - to be blunt, it sounds really downmarket.

But the point is, you actively dislike it, and he knew that and he pretty much bullied you into it.

Too right he should be upset really, it's good that he's realised that it has to be sorted.

Hopefully he does at least feel he can ok Edward. If really not, I'd ask again - whose surname? Because if his - then the choice really should be yours anyway.

I would ditch Chester, OP. Edward is much nicer.

Don't let your other half or any of the comments on this thread bully you into a decision one way or another.

Chester and Edward are both lovely so you can't really go wrong. But if you're looking for other possibilities I offer Edwin - it's more unusual but you can still use the nickname Ted.

Either way there's a reason that it's dead easy to change a baby's name up to the age of 12 months, loads of people change their minds and it's no big deal, but it is important to find a name you're happy with.

My friends couldn't decide what to name their baby so they tried a few names for a week at a time and eventually settled on one that they hadn't even had on the shortlist at the time of her birth but it suits her perfectly. Why not suggest to your OH that you try a week of calling him Edward and see how you both feel at the end of it?

We took 2 weeks to decide on a name for Ds1 and nearly 4 weeks to decide for Ds2. Lots of people asked "if we had a name yet"; we said "no".

We didn't find out the gender in advance and it seemed silly to consider names before we'd met the baby.

We worked on the principle that we both had to like the name - not that one person would give in to the other.

I understand that people do relationships differently but you are both going to have to call your child by their name for the rest of your/their life. Why not take your time over it and come to an agreement? You can change the name up to a year and have 6 weeks to register the birth so plenty of time (may be longer due to Covid).

Chester makes me think of ' chester drawers'

Oh I like Chester! And Nancy. They go well together. Edward is also a favourite of mine so I'm really no help in terms of choosing a name! I will say that both my dc were not called by their proper names until about 6mo - it always feels odd referring to a tiny newborn as a full-on, grown-up name. Mine both had nicknames (unrelated to their actual names), which we do sometimes still use. What I'm trying to say is that you may find whatever the name is it feels odd to call him that but it's perfectly normal. Once he's bigger and showing more of his personality it all feels a lot more natural. Congratulations on your baby!

Love Chester.
Edward reminds me of a snotty MC kid in a stripy wool jumper and corduroy trousers!

Chedward?

I think Chester is a lovely and strong name. But it's your little fella, so do what feels right. Good luck.