Using your maiden name as baby’s middle name

[LittleRa]

What are people’s thoughts on this?
(all fictitious names used in example!)

My maiden name was Miss Johnson. I got married and changed my name to Mrs Jones. I had DD who is now 6 and her name is Sarah Jones. I separated from exDH and divorced but I kept the name Mrs Jones- as it’s the same surname as my DD, plus I’m a teacher and all the children at work call me that.

I’m now with my lovely DP Mr Smith, and I’m pregnant. The baby’s surname will be Smith- it wouldn’t be my surname Jones, as that’s my married name to someone else, and it wouldn’t be my maiden name Johnson as that’s no one else’s name (other than my parents and sister, so no one in the household) so I’m happy for the surname to be DP’s name Smith.

I was wondering about using my maiden name as a middle name, e.g. Emily Johnson Smith (we’re having a girl). As I said, Johnson isn’t the real name but it’s equally as surnamey, it wouldn’t pass as a name. Would people assume it was a double barrelled surname (which I don’t want)? Should I choose another “first name” type middle name in addition so e.g. Emily Rose Johnson Smith? Or scrap the maiden name middle name altogether?!

Thanks for any thoughts!

My dc have
First name
Middle name
Husbands surname
My surname

Used to be very common practice.

To make it easier for future genealogists, please do this in one form or another! My family tree has been so much easier to trace thanks to families re-using surnames as middle names

@FoxtrotSkarloey

I have a surname middle name but it was my Nan's maiden name, not my mum's. Very occasionally people assume it's double barrelled but that only tends to happen on paperwork which doesn't have a separate field for first names and surnames I.e, when the name is written out in full and someone has to decide which is the surname. It's very rare and easily corrected.

It's a little unusual you didn't use it with your first DD but not a problem. You can easily explain to both when they are older the reasons. I'd go for it.

No way I would use Jones as someone suggested. Yes it's your DD's surname, but it came from your ex. That would be weird. Especially if you and DP decide to marry in future and you choose to take his surname.

Thanks for understanding about not using “Jones” (my current married name)- you’ve explained exactly

@JemimaTiggywinkle

I think it’s fine to give your daughter your maiden name.

Or could you give your daughter your middle name? Then you will be sharing one of your current names with each daughter.

My middle name is actually my Grandma’s first name (my Mum’s mum) so this is an idea.

@HarrietM87

I don’t see any issue with this at all. I actually gave DS my mother’s maiden name as a middle name. I’ve kept my own maiden name (which is my dad’s name) and then DS is Name Middlename Middlename(his grandma’s surname) Surname(his father’s surname) so same as you in that DS and I don’t actually share the extra surname, and it’s used as a middle name. No one has ever thought of it as double barrelled, and he’s known as Name Surname day to day.

As other pps have suggested, DS does have another middle name as well - I think it’s always handy to have a middle name as an option in case you want to swap it for your first name for any reason.

One of the reasons I thought of doing this is that I just can’t think of another “first name” type middle name to use But I could probably narrow it down.

@EggysMom

To make it easier for future genealogists, please do this in one form or another! My family tree has been so much easier to trace thanks to families re-using surnames as middle names

Good reason

This is very, very common in Scotland and also north-east England.

I was born with a very unusual surname and have a sister, no brothers. So both of my boys have my maiden surname as a middle name, along the lines of John William Migglethump Jones.

It is helpful for genealogists but just gives clues; my grnadfather for example was Robert Smith Miggletheump and we have no idea where the Smith came from.

(I'm not really called Migglethump. Kinda wish I was though.).

I’m actually in the North East so good to know

My Scottish grandmother passed her maiden name as a second middle name to my dad

I think as you kept the name Mrs Jones then why give the child Johnson as a middle name. It's not even your name anymore!

I kept my maiden name.

DS is Bob Fred Maiden DHname.

No hyphen.

Never caused any confusion whatsoever.

One of my reasons for this was practically. If i ever travel abroad its obvious DS is my son due to the surname link.

Its also actually a trend thats been used a lot in the past, particularly in my father's family (scottish) but also occasionally in DH's family.

I personally don't like, it's just too many surnames for me. However when I've seen it I've never assumed it's double barrelled unless there is of course a - in between.

Agree that no-one ever assumes it's double barrelled. For every day use my child with the name of John William Migglethump Jones is just John Jones. Or John WM Jones sometimes. It's only official forms which show his full name.

I did this with my first born intentionally but by coincidence my maiden name is also used as a first name anyway so its not obvious to others unless we point it out.

I have recently being doing my family tree and
It seems quite normal (in Scotland) for the mother to pass her her maiden name to her children - it’s made tracing the family a lot easier! I think it’s lovely and I’m now kicking myself for not doing it.

As others have said, it’s common in Scotland. The first time I came across it was a girl with the middle name Gordon and I was until someone explained about the maiden name connection. I thought they had just given her the boy’s name they had liked too.

I took my husband’s surname when we got married so I gave my daughter my middle name as her middle name that way she got a name from each of us.

I get why you want to do it. I'm in a similar situation of unfortunately divorced from DD but keeping the surname to stay the same. Now ttc with my DP

I won't give the new baby my ex's name, so will be DP's surname. Unfortunately my Maiden name is not a nice middle name, so can't see me doing it. And I don't want my DD to feel left out just having her Dad's name.

So if we are lucky enough to conceive, there will be 2 of each name in the house. Unless we marry in the future, in which case I can overthink and feel guilty all over again! Haha

Like others have said in some areas this is common practice so not weird at all. My partner has two surnames as middle names. I like the idea but in my case, it sounds very clunky and doesn't flow well so unlikely to do it.

I think this was common years ago. My elderly mother's middle name is her mother's maiden name. A former boss's wife had the same and she would be in her eighties now.

It's a big thing in the older generation of my family on both my Irish and Scottish sides. Both grandmother's and a sprinkling of great aunts etc had surnames as middle names sometimes as it was their mother's maiden name or in my grans case at it was a notable family member back in the family tree and a way of keeping the name alive. My surname was too ugly to give so I didn't bother! Wish I had though as my dad was the only son among many sisters and he only has granddaughters so if my niece ( dB only child) marries our surname is lost. Bit sad really.

I've done the same as @RaspberryCoulis - I also have a highly unusual foreign surname from my dad (to make it even more complicated, it's a patronymic, so is actually my great-great-grandfather's first name!). I didn't change my name on marriage, so it's still my surname.

Because of this heritage, I wanted to pass the name down to the next generation, so both DCs have it as a second middle name (after a "normal" middle name), followed by DH's surname. They are only ever known as FirstName DH'sSurname, not FirstName MySurname-DH'sSurname.

I'm an only child and my dad's only sibling never had children so dc1 has my maiden name as one of his middle names. It made my dad and his mum really happy.

In Scotland it’s the tradition to give children the mothers maiden name as the middle name. If it’s already been used then the grandmothers.