Using your maiden name as baby’s middle name

[LittleRa]

What are people’s thoughts on this?
(all fictitious names used in example!)

My maiden name was Miss Johnson. I got married and changed my name to Mrs Jones. I had DD who is now 6 and her name is Sarah Jones. I separated from exDH and divorced but I kept the name Mrs Jones- as it’s the same surname as my DD, plus I’m a teacher and all the children at work call me that.

I’m now with my lovely DP Mr Smith, and I’m pregnant. The baby’s surname will be Smith- it wouldn’t be my surname Jones, as that’s my married name to someone else, and it wouldn’t be my maiden name Johnson as that’s no one else’s name (other than my parents and sister, so no one in the household) so I’m happy for the surname to be DP’s name Smith.

I was wondering about using my maiden name as a middle name, e.g. Emily Johnson Smith (we’re having a girl). As I said, Johnson isn’t the real name but it’s equally as surnamey, it wouldn’t pass as a name. Would people assume it was a double barrelled surname (which I don’t want)? Should I choose another “first name” type middle name in addition so e.g. Emily Rose Johnson Smith? Or scrap the maiden name middle name altogether?!

Thanks for any thoughts!

If you want your child to have your name then why did you change your name to your husbands name?

But I'm surprised women still take their husband's name so tbh my opinion is probably one you want to hear.

My middle name is my mums maiden name , I think it's a nice idea

We did this with DS, so he's Firstname Middlename1 Middlename2 (my maiden name) Surname. My maiden name is also a very common first name though so not so much of an issue.

We did this, with her dad's surname as a 2nd middle name. It's a bit confusing sometimes as when her name is written in full it looks like she has a double barrelled surname, but it still seemed like the best option for us.

I think it will be fine! So I did this when I got married! I didn’t want to change my name and take my husbands (it’s far to long compared to my 4 letters and I dislike his father so had reservations on taking a name connected to the man!) but we compromised. My maiden name (which is a very blunt surname and you know it’s a surname) is now legally a middle name so technically I can still go by my maiden name as it’s still on all my official stuff (passport/driving licence/work).

We agreed when we got married that if we had children, our child will also have it as a middle name (so I now have two middle names and they would as well). I think it’s a lovely idea

@user137425689631

it wouldn’t be my surname Jones, as that’s my married name to someone else

I don't understand this. It's your name and the baby's sister's name. Or are you nameless now?

Yes it’s my name now, but it’s only my name due to having been married to someone else. So it would be like giving my DP’s child another man’s name, sort of.

@NeonIcedcoffee

If you want your child to have your name then why did you change your name to your husbands name?

But I'm surprised women still take their husband's name so tbh my opinion is probably one you want to hear.

Stuff happens 🤷‍♀️ I didn’t get married and have my first DD expecting to get divorced, obviously. I expected we’d remain a family all with the same surname. But life doesn’t always go that way

I did this with my first born, and he has subsequently done it with his first born. So as well as he being Stan Smith Alcott, my granddaughter is now Lucy Smith Alcott.

I gave my son my maiden name as a middle name. It gives him a link to his heritage on my side. I actually wanted to give him a double barrelled surname like Baby Puce-Jones. But DH was worried that it would get shortened to just Puce and his surname (the Jones part) would fall by the wayside. And also he’d be listed under P for Puce instead of J for Jones. Selfish if you ask me, but there you have it.

In actual fact what’s happened is that my son uses Baby Jones for official things like school and Baby Puce in his private life. It gives him some privacy because people in his private life don’t necessarily know his legal surname and vice versa. So if theoretically he appears in the newspaper in 20 years time as Baby Puce, nobody who googles his professional name Baby Jones will come across that. This is actually really important because DH is a lawyer and hates it when his clients google him and come across photos of him performing in the village Panto, for example.

My last daughter has my maiden name as a middle name for a link to my side of the family as unfortunately it died out with me. We've never had any trouble with it.

My daughters middle name is my surname and no one ever double barrels it. We are married but I didn't take his name.

You can do it but I personally don’t like it.

@JulesM73

You can do it but I personally don’t like it.

That’s fine, I posted for views. What do you not like about it? The using of a surname where there should be an actual name? Or something else? Thanks

The use of a surname as an actual name, but then I don’t get caught up in not changing names when getting married etc.

In your example it makes even less sense as it’s not like you did the same for your first child so feels like a token gesture? Not trying to be rude or sound harsh.

It's quite usual in my family.

My middle name is my mothers maiden name. I like it because its different

It’s fine but I would give her a normal/extra middle name too.

I have done exactly this with my ds2. He also has an additional middle name (which comes before maiden name). I just see the maiden name as an extra middle name ITSWIM it’s not not an extra surname nor has it any indication of being double barrelled.

A bit easier in our case though as the maiden name is a normal boys name and the child is also a boy.

My family do this.

I really wish that I'd done this, especially since my maiden name is a now fashionable trade name.
Researching family history I've discovered that it happened quite frequently on both sides of the family.

I'm in Scotland where this is really common. My eldest son has my maiden name as his middle name.

I don’t see any issue with this at all. I actually gave DS my mother’s maiden name as a middle name. I’ve kept my own maiden name (which is my dad’s name) and then DS is Name Middlename Middlename(his grandma’s surname) Surname(his father’s surname) so same as you in that DS and I don’t actually share the extra surname, and it’s used as a middle name. No one has ever thought of it as double barrelled, and he’s known as Name Surname day to day.

As other pps have suggested, DS does have another middle name as well - I think it’s always handy to have a middle name as an option in case you want to swap it for your first name for any reason.

I have my mother's maiden name - my Mum was Scottish and it's a fairly well established tradition up there apparently.

I love the concept

I wish I had done it with mine

In fact, my son asked me why I did not do it and wants to include it in his name so his name would change to [first name + middle name + my maiden name + my married (husbands) surname] - no hyphens tho

Do it. Great idea.

I think it’s fine to give your daughter your maiden name.

Or could you give your daughter your middle name? Then you will be sharing one of your current names with each daughter.

We did something similar but the situation was different. I have a single surame, dp has a double barralled surname, we have 2 children and part of his last name is their middle name, and the other part is double barralled with my name. So he's Mr X-Y, I'm Ms Z, and the children are first name middle name X Y-Z if that makes sense. But the X part of the name in this case is a beautiful Italian name that doesn't sound like a surname. Anyway, apart from a but of confusion registering at the doctor when they kept trying to hyphenate the wrong bits of the name we haven't had any problems. If you want to do it then go for it, although it seems to me personally that it'd be better if both the new baby and the new husband took your last name (it's not your ex husbands name BTW, it's your name, just like your "maiden" name is also your name and not your fathers), then everyone can have the same last name.