Name regret

[Mommy0boys2]

My son is 8 months old and me and my husband just aren’t feeling his name is right 100% . there was a name that we both really liked but it’s a friends little boys name (who is now 3 years old) and we didn’t choose it as we didn’t want to offend/step on their toes. But it just feels like we should have?? Just interested if people think it’s too late to change our sons name at 8 months ?? And thoughts on having the same name as a friends son?? We were close to our friends a few years ago but have drifted apart recently.....

I don't think it's too late to change a name at 8 months if you're sure. But the fact it's a friend's name is an added complication. I'd make up an excuse to the friend that at the time it was a request from a relative but you didn't use the name as it was the name of her child but relative is really hurt and won't let it go,

If you and your husband both feel that your son's name isn't right for him then I would change it to the one you really like.

I disagree with pp. there's no need to lie to your friend. You need not say anything at all really. If they comment, you could just be honest. You love the name, they have great taste, and his current name just doesn't feel right so you're changing it.

There are always threads on here of people changing baby's name - it's really not a problem and if you and your partner agree just go for it.

You can also change it in his birth certificate in the first year

@user1493494961 the name we really want is one that we almost called our first son but we didn’t at that time as our friends were due a baby too and they’d already “marked” that name as there’s

How common is your friends son name? Is it exceptionally rare? @Mommy0boys2

@diddlediddle I like the idea of saying they’ve got good taste! Lol. I guess we’re just abit worried about damaging the friendship too

Is it a super rare name @Mommy0boys2
What kind of ballpark are we talking in the name charts

I would find it weird if someone changed the childs name at 8 months. He probably already knows his name and reacts to it. Although he would probably adjust quickly and he wont remember his first name later on, so its ok if you're really sure.
But if my friend changed the name to my childs name id be like "really? Whats wrong with them?"
I would definitely make a comment. And i would think you have gone insane.

I would think this was a bit strange to be honest. Eight months old is quite old and you don't seem to have a special reason for changing it.

In real life I probably wouldn't comment unless I was the friend for fear of there being some terrible hidden reason. But in my head I would think it was bonkers.

Change it, 8 months old he won’t know. You’ll be calling him the name for 50+ years if your lucky! Your friends can’t claim a name. Can you keep his current name as middle name?

@Whatsyourflava the nickname version of the new name is similar popularity to his name now (within the top 15) the full version of the new name which is what we’d chose is within the top 70.

@LilaButterfly @August20 thank you for your honesty. I think this is what we’re worried about how others will perceive it. And how our circle of close friends will be?? Although some of them know about our name struggle already

I think to be honest that people over think names. The name you chose is I'm sure lovely, if you just accept it itll become the nicest name because it's your sons name. I wouldn't change it.

I wouldnt find it odd in general if a friend did choose to change their child's name but i would assume there was some reason that they hated the first name they chose.

I would find it odd if they chose to change it to my child's name though!

Change it to the name you like. You can do this fairly easily before he's 12 months.

I'd think it was a bit silly at this point to be honest - he's 8 months not 8 weeks

8 months is completely fine. Most people are still calling their babies cute nicknames at that age anyway as a grownup name like Andrew or whatever sometimes feels a bit weird on a baby.

I'd change it. It's not an obscure name

I'd just be honest with your friend about how you've always loved it. If the tables were turned I imagine you'd be flattered

I know it feels like a big deal now but I promise its not. People might think it's odd but they'll soon move on.

Change it before 12 months while it's still so easy

Maybe you could phrase it like "if this is a big problem for you then please say"
I can't think anyone in their right mind would think they own a top 100 name. It's completely fine. She will say "yes" and if she doesn't , sorry but that's quite selfish and id move on from the friendship anyway

@Mommy0boys2 it's a top 15/top 70 name. It's fine. Your friend will be expecting others to pick it.

Try not to focus on what others will think. Yeah some will think it's weird but whatever life moves on. They'll forget it. Others may think it's a really good idea as they much prefer the new name! Who cares. Try not to focus on it. No one will be giving this even one percent of the amount of thought you are.

You and your child are the important ones here. Your friend will likely be really pleased you love the name so much. There's a reason they make it really easy to change a baby name up to 12 months. Loads of people must do it.

Thanks everyone for your comments and honesty. I think we’ve got to have a talk with our friends and then make a decision .... it’s not easy being in lockdown either as we would rather talk about it face to face instead of on the phone or zoom lol.

i don't see what it's got to do with this other family.
no one owns copyright on names.
it's all nonsense being influenced by what other people do.
sorry OP, don't mean to sound harsh, but i am a lot older than you. at your age i was probably bothered about what other people might think too. i now see how pointless all that is.
do what you want to do. don't feel or act as if you are somehow at fault in all this. you don't owe them or anyone an explanation.

and i hope it's not one of those silly names. in which case keep the one you've got. unless that is sillier. but following my first dictum of course you will tell me to take a running jump, and do exactly what you want, regardless. all power to you.

I would swap names and be completely honest that you didn’t go with your preferred choice as didn’t want to offend but love the name so much it’s causing constant regret.

I don’t see why you need to talk to your friends about this before you make your decision. This is your little boy’s name which he will have for the rest of his life. It’s really important. You might not even be in contact with these people in a few years time and they are your friends not your little boy’s friends. If this is the name you wanted to name him all along then definitely change it - now is the time. If your friends get funny about it then they are not worth having as friends anyway.

I think it's bonkers to be honest. But who cares what I think. Don't let worry about what other people think stop you if you know it's the right decision.

You sound like a very kind and lovely person to be so concerned with upsetting your friends @Mommy0boys2 - I bet in reality they'll love it and be flattered

Let us know how you get on x