Anyone named their child something they didn’t like because their partner likes it?

[Sinead543]

Partner wants to name baby after him but I’m really not keen on it, anyone named their child a name they don’t like because their partner likes it?

So just give the baby his name? Exact same first name last name??

I never really understand it and it’s maddening that in 90% of cases it’s the father’s name that gets passed down, not the mother’s.

If your DP is a John and his father a John and his grandfather a John I can kind of understand it because he’s honouring his family but if he’s the first John and he wants a baby John it seems incredibly egotistical...

I gave my daughter a name i don't like, because it's the feminine version of both of her grandfathers' name (think DF and DFIL both called George, DD is Georgina) - it was very important to my husband. I didn't like the name, still don't like it on other people, but i love it on my daughter because it is her name. I knew i would, too, so it never really mattered to me.

I done get naming a child after a parent. It’s odd and think of all the practical issues. DH wasn’t keen on DD2 name but he has just seen me give birth and be whipped off for emergency surgery so he just went with it when I told the midwife DD2s name.

I really dislike the practice of naming a child after it’s parents (and it’s usually some macho crap as it’s almost always son after his father). Confusing and just silly. The child is more than the produce of his father, he’s his own person and deserves his own name. Definitely not if it’s a name the mother doesn’t even like. Use fathers name as a middle name if you must.

And no, I don’t think it’s right to pick a name unless both parents agree. I love the name Alexander but is a hard veto from DH for personal reasons and, hard as it’s been, I accept that. Also given that mum has to carry and push baby out, it’s definitely not fair to use a name she isn’t keen on.

I agree I am not keen on naming child after parent, like some have said it’s confusing and not really fair when mum does the carrying and labour but child gets called after father...😂 If I liked the name it’d probably be a different story

Don’t give in!

No, I think it's important that both of you like the name of your own child.

My DS has a middle name I really dislike, I don't use it unless I really have to (passport for example) as DH was adamant. I wish he didn't have a middle name at all 5 years later.....

Give the baby your surname.

Would you give your baby your first name?

A compromise might be to use the father's name as a middle name.

It smacks a bit of machismo.

I really dislike it when parents do this. It is so chavvy and tacky.
I doubt your child will thank you if you do this.
Say to your oh let's go the whole hog and when we have a daughter let's call her my exact name, see what he thinks to that.
Through my job I've met men, and it is always men, who have the exact same name as their father and the vast majority are embarrassed by it.

I suppose you could use either his for name or his surname as a middle name as a compromise, although I still wouldn't if I didn't like it.

Whatever you decide to do, give the baby your own surname,

Fuck no. Compromise and give the baby his name as a middle name if you like, but you both have to like his first name!

I compromised by giving DD the spelling of first name that DH preferred (think Clare v Claire - the name was my initial pick but the spelling his). I’m coming around to his spelling and tbh it’s lovely either way so it wasn’t a dealbreaker. But we had a rule that if someone disliked a name it was taken off the table and we moved on. It’s not fair for either parent to have to live with a name that they actively dislike.

FWIW I hate the idea of naming a DC after yourself. Children should have their own identities. DH’s middle name is his dad’s first name and when that I find a bit egotistical!

Ds1 has his grandfather name, which is very similar to his surname. I was not happy but unfortunately, during early pregnancy I saw the two couples I knew who were pregnant or had a newborn argue about their babies name. It was not pretty sight. So I asked my dh if he would like to name the baby if it is male and I will chose if it a female. No back talking allowed. No harmful names allowed. Then next pregnancy we get to pick opposite gender names.

Dh liked the plan and agreed to it.

Now ds1 is called something similar to John Johnson. It’s the same name twice right?

I think it would be a real shame to settle for a name you're not really keen on. Is the difficulty that if you veto it you'd have to admit you don't really like your partner's name? Could you not just stress the point it would be confusing? Because it would. Unless he's keen on using "junior", in which case omg, poor you!

Yes, DH wanted to use a name important to him and his family. I really don't like it. However I understand why he wanted to use it so it's DS middle name.

We've chosen family names from a couple of generations ago and I know friends who have used their names or their parents names as their child's middle name. I think a child named exactly the same as a parent might cause identity issues?

I had a bad time with XP who didn't want a baby. I had two names I liked, but was undecided. I thought he might bond with DD better if he chose the name. When I was in the late stages of a very difficult labour, he gave me two options. I didn't like either of them, but chose one. I hate it, she hates it and he left us anyway. I have to say that she hates my choices too!

No way!

Your son deserves his own name, one you also love!

You should both like the name, having two people in the same family with identical names is confusing, wanting your child named after you is egotistical, they are their own person, stick to your guns, use DHs name a middle name.
However if you did name your child with a name you don't like I think you would soon associate the name with your child whom you love and it would change your feelings about the name, but I wouldn't do it!

You need to stand up to this. Don't call your baby a name you don't like. Is using it for a middle name a compromise? Why is his choice more important than yours?

I didn’t dislike my son’s name, was ambivalent really, but my husband adored it, so we went for that.

Fast forward a few decades and DS decided he didn’t like it and changed it himself.

WTF?! No.
This is so egocentric and outdated.
Both parents need to like the name, and if you really can't agree, the mother gets the final word.
Assuming you're not married (you say DP not DH) you have to register the birth - he can't do it without you - so it's your call.
I'm guessing someone like this has assumed baby should get his surname, too. But you should give baby your own surname, either by itself or with his surname added.

My husband is DYING to name a son after him (and his dad, grandad, great grandad tbf) - he has a son already from a ONS but he doesnt have his name or surname. I don't dislike DHs name just think it's crap calling a child after yourself, like a pp said they deserve their own name. Luckily we have 3 girls so wasnt an issue

Dp wanted to give a baby his name. I said absolutely not, and that was the end of it.