Dilemma- Alexander and Alexandra favourite names

[aprilfools19]

Hello! So my partner and I have a bit of a dilemma.

She’s pregnant with our first DC, a girl due in 6 weeks

Alexandra is in our top 3 baby girl names. I love the other 2 on our list but Alexandra has been a favourite of mine since I was a teenager. Can’t put my finger on it but I just adore it and love Alex and Andi as potential nns (not at all keen on Lex/Lexi though so hoping to avoid that !)

Problem is- Alexander is the only boys name we both love too. I really like Henry also but my partner isn’t keen. Alexander is the only one we both really like so now we can’t decide if we should go for it with DD and chose Alexandra, or “save” the name in case we have a boy down the line.

We are almost positive we only want 2 kids so there’s a big chance we won’t even have a boy. I’m leaning towards choosing one of our other top 3 for this DD. And then Dd2 can be Alexandra if she is a DD, or Alexander if DS.
But I’m also worried I’ll kick myself for now choosing Alexandra. Between now and when/if we have a DS we may well stumble on a boy name we love even more and then I’ll forever regret not going with my heart which has loved Alexandra for over 15 years.

Sorry I know this sounds incredibly rambly and silly in the scheme of things. What would you do?

Zander for a boy now and Alexandra down the line? Or vice versa.

Well why not save it and then if you do have another girl then she can be Alexandra? Or a boy would obviously be Alexander? I do get your quandary though. To be honest if you do go for it for your girl and the next baby is a boy you will just have to pick something different. It's not like he would remain nameless his whole life...

ArriettyJones how juvenile can I person get. Have you nothing better to do with your day than try and bait me for disliking your rather transphobic opinions? Please find a better use of your time.

I don’t remember posting any transphobic opinions. I do remember you cryptically goading everyone.

I'd go with Alexandra, because you don't actually know if you will have another dc. Hopefully you will but, you never know. Also, you may have another girl. It would be a shame not to use the name you love most for your dd now, just in case you have a boy later imo.

Also, Alexander is mega popular where I live. Alexandra isn't at all. You might find when your dd starts nursery etc, you meet a tonne of little Alexanders and it puts you off.

I also want to know what the other thread was!

Cheesecakejar this was my initial thought but as I say, I’m worried I’ll kick myself if I pass up on using it now. As you say it’s not like a future DS will remain nameless and there’s a good chance we will find another boys name we like between now and whenever that will be. I’m hoping once she’s here the decision will be obvious.

ArriettyJones honestly please leave. This is a thread about the future name of my child and I just don’t want to have to read this kind of crap. “I don’t remember any transphobic opinions” maybe sit down with a trans woman and tell her how you don’t believe her to be a woman and see how that goes. Empathy and kindness go a long way in life. Now back to the topic at hand.

You cannot second guess the future. pick the name you love most now.

@justoverthehorizon

You cannot second guess the future. pick the name you love most now.

Yes, this^^. Much more concisely put than how I did .

ArriettyJones and yet you’re the one who has felt the need to hi jack my child’s name post because I don’t like your opinions on something entirely separate ? You must be bored.

I like Alexandra more than Alexander today, so on that basis you should call your baby Alexandra.

Having said that, every Alexandra I've ever known has been called Alex.

If you had another girl you could still use Alexandra.

Have a look at your baby when she's born and see what name suits her.

I’d use it this time. You might intend to have another child and very well
might but there are no guarantees.

Choose the name you love the most 🙂

Worry about naming the next child when the time comes! I'm sure you will have another name you love just at much by then.

go for what you like now because you don't know what lies ahead

Use it this time (as long as your other half agrees of course) as if you save it you'll regret it if a second DD doesn't come along.

Acually I shouldn't really say that as I took the same gamble. DS1 didn't look like my favourite name so we called him something else. We were lucky that DS2 came along next as it was perfect for him so got to use it after all.

You do know that the baby may very well be born and you will look at his cute little face and say... ‘horario!’.

Maybe your first baby gets the Alex as a first and the next opposite sex baby gets it as a middle name. You might only have one after all.

Personally I think I'd use Alexandra as a middle name and keep Alexander in reserve, as there aren't any other boy names I like nearly as much. I don't know what I'd have done if I'd had a DS2!

Alexandra is an excellent name.... I may be biased here though.

I go by Alex and personally I like that it's a gender neutral nickname, (just seems to be my preference for girl's names)

I've been called Lex, Lexie, Al, Allie and another variation I absolutely hate and was called all the way through childhood won't say because (I can't believe I'm about to say this I've become such a MN cliche) it's incredibly outing by various people at various times.

Honestly if you use one of them for this baby then even if the next is of the opposite sex I imagine it wouldn't even cross your mind that you will wish you'd "saved" it as the name will so thoroughly belong to the one you already have :)

Wtf does this have to do with trans people?

What are your other names on the list? I have to say, I don't love Alexandra. I'm just not sold on Alex for a girl, there's something a bit depressing about it. Very 80s. It's lovely as a long name but just a bit too long.

FizzyGreenWater absolutely nothing at all. Some people just like to try and bait people into arguing.

If I was in your position I'd do the same as you and keep the name for my second child.
Now as a parent with one dc and secondary infertility with next to no chance of a second child I'd say to give the name to your first child because as cliché as it sounds, you don't know what the future holds.

Use the name that you love for the baby who is (nearly) here now. Worry about naming any future children when they come along. You’ll kick yourself even harder if you don’t end up using either of your favourite names.

You don’t say what your partner thinks of your girls’ top three. As the person carrying the child, and as you are so torn, perhaps she should get the casting vote.

Alexandra is a beautiful name. I would use it for the baby which you are expecting