Dilemma- Alexander and Alexandra favourite names

[aprilfools19]

Hello! So my partner and I have a bit of a dilemma.

She’s pregnant with our first DC, a girl due in 6 weeks

Alexandra is in our top 3 baby girl names. I love the other 2 on our list but Alexandra has been a favourite of mine since I was a teenager. Can’t put my finger on it but I just adore it and love Alex and Andi as potential nns (not at all keen on Lex/Lexi though so hoping to avoid that !)

Problem is- Alexander is the only boys name we both love too. I really like Henry also but my partner isn’t keen. Alexander is the only one we both really like so now we can’t decide if we should go for it with DD and chose Alexandra, or “save” the name in case we have a boy down the line.

We are almost positive we only want 2 kids so there’s a big chance we won’t even have a boy. I’m leaning towards choosing one of our other top 3 for this DD. And then Dd2 can be Alexandra if she is a DD, or Alexander if DS.
But I’m also worried I’ll kick myself for now choosing Alexandra. Between now and when/if we have a DS we may well stumble on a boy name we love even more and then I’ll forever regret not going with my heart which has loved Alexandra for over 15 years.

Sorry I know this sounds incredibly rambly and silly in the scheme of things. What would you do?

Name the child you are carrying as well as you can. Sometimes you have to make sub optimal decisions for your children to benefit their siblings, but as one of the first and most enduring decisions you will make for your daughter, please do the best you can. This is not the time for her to be playing second fiddle to a hypothetical brother.

If you love it then use it now.

You don't know for sure, but you may not end up having a son or even a second child (sorry, I don't mean to be depressing, but nobody knows the future). Using a name you consider "second best" now would be a mistake.

Go with Alexandra (excellent name) dc2 might never exist or might be a girl. Name the child you have and I'm sure you'll find a lovely name for a son if you have him down the road.

I'm really sorry if I'm wrong but am I right to infer that you are a same-sex couple?

When my sister and her DW had their children they each carried one, and had the final say on the name for the child that they carried. Your partner is heavily pregnant in a heatwave. Give her the casting vote!

Zhampagne yes correct! She was just as conflicted as I was which is why I made the post but we’ve decided to settle on Alexandra. It’s what our gut instinct is telling us! If a DS does come along down the track hopefully we will have found another boys name we love by then.

Totally agree that you should use the name you both like most on this baby. Who knows what the future will bring? You might in the end decide one child is enough, or you might struggle to conceive again, or your second child might be another daughter! By the time any hypothetical brother comes along you'll have found another name you both like, I'm sure. Good luck!

I would also say that once I had DC1 then I heard a lot of "new" names at baby groups, toddler groups, pre-school, etc... obviously not always new names, but ones I hadn't thought of or hadn't properly considered. Some old-fashioned names which were actually sounding cool again, or some slightly more obscure names - stuff like that. You will probably hear a lot more possibilities before DC2 is on the horizon, and may find DC2's name among them.

I agree, once you have a child you are hearing names in the context of other small children and it can change your feelings about them. We had a lot of difficulty finding the right girl's name because ones I thought were nice my partner found pretentious or odd (or sometimes both), and ones he liked had been spoiled for me by horrible girls in primary school. Had we had a second daughter it might have been easier to find suitable names that felt right to both of us. (though, come to think of it, I don't recall planning a girl's name before our son was born! He got the name that had always felt right for a boy even before his big sister was born ...)

It didn't help us that several initials (A, I, even P) work very badly with our surname, thus ruling out loads of great names before we started.

Go with Alexandra now, you never know what the future holds. We 'planned' on 3 DC but life intervened and I now can't have any more kids so we only have the 1. Choose the name you love now.

I know a father/daughter Alexander/Alexandra.

They are Sandy and Lexi...I'd known them about 18 months before I twigged they had more or less the same name!

If your daughter ends up being known as Alex or Andi, you could always have an Alexander shortened to Xander or Sandy.

I would use Alexandra. It's not unusual to change your mind and choose different names for a second pregnancy. I didn't use the boys name I would have used for my daughter, when my son was born.