Baby girl number 4 - is this name a bit ‘out there.’

[user1488481370]

We’re really struggling on names for baby girl number 4! As you can probably imagine 🤣

I was talking to OH last night about my great grandmother’s maiden name and how I’d always wanted to use it as a middle name but how we’d always used deceased grandmothers/great grandmother’s names instead.

He wants to use this name as a first name as he hasn’t heard anything else that he likes as much, similarly I’m starting to think the same. It wouldn’t also be a lovely link to my lovely grandad whose name we haven’t been able to use as tribute as we’ve not had any boys!

The name is Bonham, we don’t pronounce the ‘H’ though so it’s pronounced ‘Bon-am.’

Can also be shortened to Bonnie.

I love it but wasn’t sure whether it was a bit out there?

@lemyn I actually quite like Bonita but OH hates it 😒

I wouldn’t do it. Its fairly obviously a last name, so a bit like calling her “Quarta”. People will assume you ran out of names, and she will have to explain all her life. It would be a bit different for the oldest, but for the youngest of four girls, it invites uncalled for comments.
I have a friend who’s first name is a traditional last name, her married last name is a traditional male first name. Its a nightmare for her, she uses her middle name now ( think “Miller Thomas” - not her real name.)

Bonnie is a ‘nice’ way of saying ‘fat’ where I live!

Would not inflict that on a gerbil.

Just to add to my previous post (names changed, but similar):
My friend was born “Miller Suzie Carter”
Got married to Robert Thomas, took his name, so was now Miller Suzie Thomas”
Everybody assumed she was Thomas Miller, so safety equipment etc (Essential in her job) was provided in men’s sizes (she is a very petite women, it caused a lot of problems. Not easy to fix due to the nature of her job).
Dropped her first name, she is now Suzie Thomas.

Bonnie is such pretty name Bonham not so much. There won’t be many Bonnies in her class either.

Bonham just isn’t nice as a name. They’ll spend their life having to explain it.

I did know a Bonamy though.

I don’t like it I’m afraid but I do like Bonnie.
Bonham will be misprounced Bon HAM all the time.

@user1488481370

Arrgghhh I still really like it as a first name, however I’m getting the overall consensus is to use it as a middle name .....

I’ve looked up the various meanings of the name, not feminine at all but the actual pronunciation give me the feeling it’s quite a soft name. It goes with our other DD’s names and we have a fairly simple surname that luckily anything goes with.

We’ve looked at thousands of girl’s names, at best, we’re a bit ‘either way’ on the ones we do like. We’re both incredibly fussy.

Don't forget that naming a child is actually not really - or not only - about what you like or 'love'. A child's name is the first gift its parents give it. And gifts are about the receiver and not the giver. Plus it's a gift that will last for life, and therefore usability and durability really need to be thought about, IMO.

I'd go for one of the 'either way' names, tbh (any examples of those?), with Bonham as a lovely, dignified middle name.

If you don't even like Bonnie (which I don't either) then Bonham is definitely a no. Keep it as a middle name and give her an actual first name.

@AudTheDeepMinded

Why don't you put it as a middle name on the BC and use Bonnie as an evryday use nickname? That way kid has a more conventional formal name but you get to call her Bonnie, IYSWIM?

I will never understand people who plan to use a middle name as a first name.

Don’t you know how much hassle the poor child will have explaining to every doctor, dentist, employer etc?

@Enderman, Bonamy is also a man's name, though.

I really, REALLY like it! It does make me think of Helena but I bloody love her.

I quite like Bonnie but Bonham feels more like a boys name to me.

The Bonamy I knew is female, it was the first time I had heard the name.

It’s funny though as it sounds feminine. Much more than Bonham, which will lead to a life time of quizzical looks.

Traditionally it's male. But as we all know, male names regularly get used for girls...

You could maybe get away with Bonhomie. Same roots as Bonham, but now a word meaning jollity and friendliness etc, so a sort of virtue name.

@daisypond

You could maybe get away with Bonhomie. Same roots as Bonham, but now a word meaning jollity and friendliness etc, so a sort of virtue name.

Please don't . Apart from the fact that it's obviously not a name, what if she's a miserable moo?

Yes, there’s that too! But better than Bonham. Just thought I’d put it out there.

@bridgetreilly

Traditionally it's male. But as we all know, male names regularly get used for girls...

Only on Mumsnet. Nobody in RL calls their baby girl James.

I really dislike it. Not keen on names with 'ham' in. Also very surnamey.