Dislike the nickname

[DomTH]

DH and I have really struggled to agree on a name for our baby. Eventually settled on Sophia (I know it's super popular but I was just so relieved to find something we both liked). Now he's told me he'll call her Sophie for short which I can't stand.

He then said he'd try not to call her that, but doesn't really see the difference. I don't trust that he won't end up saying Sophie and I'm worried it will drive me mad for the rest of my life.

I'm totally crestfallen at the thought of going back to the drawing board.

Advice or thoughts?

Thanks

I know a little sophia.
She has phia as a nn
Soph is most likely.
Never heard sophie as a nn for Sophia.

I would assume the natural nickname would be Soph. There are a few names i really like but have been discounted because i don't like the nickname, it's so hard. If it's really going to annoy you that much, going back to the drawing board may be your only option.

I know a Sofia who goes by Sofi but honestly I feel Soph would be a more natural nickname.

She has phia as a nn

Really? Don’t people think that’s “fear”? How unfortunate.

It'll end up as Soph.

And probably a range of other pet names special to you as a family, not one of my kids or pets have ended up being called the beautiful name initially selected. They just kind of develop their own special names.

If he says he's going to call her sophia most of the time I don't really see a problem
Sophia is lovely and not as popular as you're expecting

Don’t people think that’s “fear”?

Why would they? They don't sound the same in my accent.

Agree that surely Sophie isn't a nn for Sophie but he seems to think it is!

How are you going to pronounce Sophia? The traditional English way is So-fye-a. That might make a difference to any nickname.

A neighbour of mine is Sophia her nn is Sophi.
When choosing names, I crossed loads off the list purely because of nn’s that I wasn't keen on. I’d avoid Sophia if you feel that strongly imo.

DN is Sophia and we call her Sophie.

Sophia is lovely, not so keen on Sophie.

Why not call her Sophie if he's going to call her that anyway? Sophie isnt a nickname, it's a whole other name!

Why would they? They don't sound the same in my accent.

Presumably she knows more people than just you though?

You don't need to have a diminutive, both me and my daughter-in-law have names that are easily shortened but we both go by our full names.

@DomTH I would be wary... despite best intentions, if it feels natural to him to shorten it to that then you could be in for a lifetime of frustration potentially. It wouldn’t be a natural shortening to me and I don’t think to anyone else as I think of them as completely different forms of a name with completely different feels, hence why you prefer one to the other, but if my OH had come out with this and I’d probably want to think again to avoid future problems and arguments. As people have said Soph would be a more obvious nn to most but it’s your OH who matters in this instance.

How can you like Sophia but not be able to stand Sophie?! They’re almost the same! FWIW from high school upwards she would be Soph.

I think most people would know to pronounce it So-fee-a.

How about Fee as a shortened form?

I don’t like Ann and really like Anna. A syllable can make a big difference.

I would never shortern Sophia to Sophie
I have an adult friend called sophia and never heard that shortened
Similarly I randomly have 3 adult friends called Maria. None of them ever get called Marie

@FamilyOfAliens

Why would they? They don't sound the same in my accent.

Presumably she knows more people than just you though?

Well if she grows up and moves somewhere where people can't say the letter "r" she can decide whether to revert to her full name, or just sound really scary.

@DomTH I’m speaking as someone who gave their daughter a two syllable name, never imagining this would be too taxing for anyone to manage and it never entered my head or would be shortened, but my now thankfully ex MIL seemingly can’t manage anything over one syllable, and permanently shortened it to something in a very similar scenario... different form of the name with a different feel which I would have called her if that’s what I wanted 🤬. I got so sick of constantly correcting her and telling her my reasons, and she continued to do it, think she was just being a bitch. Luckily I don’t have to deal with her any more but my daughter still has to have a relationship with her, and if she thinks she’s getting at me with it the jokes on her because it infuriates my daughter that she continues to do this when she herself hates it and always corrects her, consequently my daughter doesn’t have a lot of time for her same as I didn’t. Ignorance. Guess the point of this being that, although I’m not insulting your OH by likening him to this woman who I feel was doing it deliberately to bother me and has only succeeded in alienating her own grandchild... I know how it feels to have the name you chose constantly taken away and the resultant continuous tension knowing the problem is going to rear it’s head all the time. You don’t want that if it can be avoided.

I know a Sophia nicknamed Sophie or Soph.

But I don't understand how you can love Sophia but hate Sophie so much

And I've never heard Fia as a nickname..?!

I know a Sophia who is called 'Softy' by just about everyone