Dislike the nickname

[DomTH]

DH and I have really struggled to agree on a name for our baby. Eventually settled on Sophia (I know it's super popular but I was just so relieved to find something we both liked). Now he's told me he'll call her Sophie for short which I can't stand.

He then said he'd try not to call her that, but doesn't really see the difference. I don't trust that he won't end up saying Sophie and I'm worried it will drive me mad for the rest of my life.

I'm totally crestfallen at the thought of going back to the drawing board.

Advice or thoughts?

Thanks

I know a Sofia who goes by Fia but it's 'fire' not 'fear'.

Nothing like my family then who have all given DD the most amazingly ridiculous array of affectionate, mad nicknames that have nothing to do with her actual, beautiful name.

The two Sophia’s I know are phia and phi phi as nick names

I think a third syllable can make a huge difference to the sound of a name. Personally I like both Sophia and Sophie, and both Sylvia and Sylvie. But whilst I like Julia and Diana, I hate Diane and Julie.

I’ve never met a Sophia who has used Sophie as a nickname at all, Sophie is a totally different name.

I think Sophie wouldn’t come naturally, it’s a name in its own right

I know quite a few Sophias - mostly So-FEE-a, a couple of So-FIE-a.
Only one is known as Sophie and she's 17. She is only Sophia because it's a saint's name - her parents always intended her to be called Sophie day to day. Most people wouldn't even know her "real" name.
I think Sophie is an unusual shortening irl.

Only Sophias I know go as ‘Fia’ too. Plus Fia is an actual name.

I know a Sophie who gets called Soph. The Sophia I know is pronounced So-fy-a.

Are you planning on So-fee-a or So-fy-a OP?

Well either you are going to be frustrated because you hear DH using a version you hate, or DH will be frustrated because he can't call,his own DD the version he likes best.

TBH I'd go back to the drawing board.

Or declare her nn Fifi

Sophie is completely different from Sophia, nobody will end up calling her that, fi-fi maybe or soph a D they r both cute

Pretty sure Sophie literally came into existence as a nn for Sophia.

Sophie so much nicer than sophia I'm biased though it's different not a nickname Soph is the nickname.

I know a Sophia who goes by Fia. Doesn't sound like fear in my accent at all.

Definitely don't choose Sophia if you don't like it shortened.

Obviously seeing what your DH would naturally shorten a name to & whether you could live with it is important, even if he says he won't shorten it, he probably will. But bear in mind you cannot control what other people call her, especially friends. You can try but it just comes across as controlling & it's not good.

My name is 3 syllables, it's a nice name, but the first syllable doesn't make an actual name (like Samantha makes Sam -acceptable name) my parents (mostly my Dad) hated my friends shortening it & pulled them up in it all the time. It was annoying and embarrassing.

My mum tried to get me to Get my friends shorten it to the 3rd syllable (Which is an actual name) if the whole name was just too much but that was too weird and I hate that as a staNF alone name!

Most names will be shortened or if you choose a short name lengthened (Fred to Freddie) 🙄 so keep trying until you find something you can live with!!

Since he’s raised it already, I think there’s no way he won’t end up calling her Sophie. So I’d say it’s back to the drawing board.

DH and I really like Tobin as a name, but hate Toby. There’s precisely no point in using it because we’d inevitably end up with a Toby.

Just be aware that older children at shorten everything that its possible o shorten. There is virtually no chance her friends at secondary school will shout So-Phe-A come on we"re off. It will be Soph, Phi, or Sophie at a push.

What about Sapphire, would likely be Saffy for short?

Thing is it won’t be decided by you or Dh once she starts school - I’m assuming her name Sophia will be used in full at school then kids will decide the nickname.
I picked a full name for dd as I loved the nickname will would naturally be shortened too but after we registered her name Dh then told me he didn’t like the nickname and would use it ☹️ think Harriet and I wanted Hatty as nn.
Anyway Harriet is at primary school now and known as ‘Hats’ by her classmates. Nicknames can’t be forced imo they develop on their own.

I had the same issue with the boys names William and Thomas. Really great names. But I really dislike Tommy and Will/Billy.

Luckily we had a girl 😉

I am Sophie and never had a nickname, the nicest one I could think of is Fifi. Soph(s) is not nice. Can't see much difference between sophie and Sophia. I do get both.

@MinteeFresh Kids don’t necessarily mess with names. I’ve got two boys (one nearly 20) with two syllable names. Their friends have never shortened them in any way.

I shorten the youngest’s name (to the first syllable). But his friends don’t. None of them. It surprises me, but they just don’t.

DSD has a 4 syllable name (which is such a mouthful, I just can’t believe it’s such a popular name) and no one shortens it either. They probably never will (based on my experience of older girls with the same name). I’d shorten it if it were up to me.

I never shorten my (truly horrible - thanks parents) 2 syllable name because there are literally no shortenings that aren’t outright objectionable. The only time anyone has tried to nickname based on it (while I was a university), the guy quickly concluded that it was impossible to do it without being insulting in very dubious taste.

DH shortens his 2 syllable name because people often assume he’s a woman from the full version these days (it’s one of those boys names that people increasingly give to girls). His parents didn’t anticipate that back in the late 70s.

Conversely, my ex’s family have always shortened his name. He hated it so he started going by the full version when he went to university. Occasionally some of his friends will use a completely different, stupid, shortening to the one his family use but not often.

The things is: you just can’t know what’ll happen with the name you choose. It’s not within your control.
But if there is an obvious nickname you hate or (worse) your spouse has already said they’ll shorten it to something you hate, then it’s probably best to avoid that name entirely.

v unusual ime. I have 3 teens and a younger one and them and all their mates shorten to one syllable - eg Al for Alex, Em for Emma, Tom for Thomas etc.

I have one son with a 1 syllable name and the stretch those out by putting an -y on the end! eg Mark is Markie, Joe is Joey etc

You can't control the nicknames they will get (and they may be more random/rude) so I really would use one where you really don't like the most likely shortening - in this case, Soph.

I know scores of boys now called Thomas, Samuel or Joseph, all of whom to a boy are callled Tom, Sam, Joe - much to their mother's annoyance, who are the only people who still call them that and swore it would never happen as babies :)

would not use sorry

I agree OP I like Sophia not Sophie. Sophie is a separate equally long name - not generally a nickname for Sophia. You’ve now discussed with DH - if he’s agreed to not call her I’d go ahead!