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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Why is it so offensive to say that a name will date?

82 replies

LotusClover · 26/05/2020 16:27

Hello everyone,

I've noticed on a lot of these threads, some posters get very angry and defensive when someone suggests that a name will date.

Why?

So okay, you might not agree - or even care - that it will date. Fair enough. But isn't the whole purpose of this forum to give our opinions in an honest and constructive way? No one's saying you have to agree with these opinions.

I see posters describing names as "ugly" and "downmarket", and saying that they "hate" them. And no one bats an eyelid. But as soon as you say you think a name is going to date, you have people jumping on your case like you've just committed a crime.

Sorry for the long post, but I feel like I'm missing something here. What's so bad about suggesting that a name will date?

Thank you

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peperethecat · 26/05/2020 16:30

I think it's because it's usually when people are trying to be youneeq but they all have the same idea and they resent the implication that they've gone for something faddy that won't stand the test of time.

Nobody likes the suggestion that the name they think is so cool right now is going to be the Gary or the Sharon of the future.

diddlediddle · 26/05/2020 22:12

People on mumsnet just like to get eggy about stuff, that's why!

user495275 · 26/05/2020 22:18

I'm not sure why it aggravates people either. It might not be something they want to hear but it's still a valid point to raise and definitely something to consider when naming a child. Sure, Elodie and Arlo may be cute now but they were virtually unheard of 10 years ago, and most likely will be again in 10 years time.

victorianbombshelter · 26/05/2020 22:45

I'd much rather someone tell me if it was a fad name as that would totally put me off. I wouldn't be offended at all, especially when seeking help

summersun7 · 26/05/2020 22:55

I think it depends on what the person is looking for. As sometimes they write in their post they are looking for uncommon names but then post names that are common or "fad names".
Everyone is unique. Some people like fad names, others don't. Im personally not fussed but prefer more common names having had a very uncommon name myself.
If we all liked the same names it would be a very boring world out there!

DennisTMenace · 26/05/2020 23:00

Names tend to go in cycles, so who cares if it dates. Today's Isla may well be the Susan of this generation, but why would that matter when choosing a name? There used to be far fewer names around and people managed just fine with all being called Mary and John.

Wheresthebiffer2 · 27/05/2020 00:41

Maybe they're actually not that offended, but it comes across like that - because we are writing - and cannot always convey our feelings - without resorting to a million emojis.

Packingsoapandwater · 27/05/2020 02:29

All names date, unless you go for very archaic ones that hardly anyone has ever heard of, say, I dunno, Shadrach or something.

Even names that people use to avoid going out of date go out of date. In my generation, Elizabeth and Victoria were the names people used to be timeless, but you don't get a lot of Victorias these days.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 27/05/2020 02:31

With baby names I honestly think it's best to say nothing if you can't say anything nice. It isn't imperative that you voice your opinion that a name will date.

Kokeshi123 · 27/05/2020 04:34

In a real-life social situation, sure.

But the whole point of having the Baby Names forum is so that we can hear actual opinions about names, not just a vague polite "How lovely!" etc.

I think it's a relevant comment to make, particularly since people often WANT a name that won't be faddy but it can be quite hard to work out which names are likely to date. Hence people choosing Theo or Everley because they think it's unusual, and then getting a shock at playgroup when they discover three other kids with the same name.

Grufallosfriends · 27/05/2020 07:46

I don't think it's any more offensive saying a 'name will date' as it is to call a name ugly or boring. And I don't think people get more offended by the former.

Yes, very fashionable names do date! The rise quickly and fall out fashion quickly.

madcatladyforever · 27/05/2020 07:48

Look at all the Kylies from the 1980's. Says it all really.

SpecialKakapo · 27/05/2020 08:03

Thing is there's dating and dating. I wouldn't particularly like to be a mid 30s Kylie, but I am a mid 30s Sarah and it's totally fine.

So personally I don't see why a name "dating" is always seen as a bad thing. It just means that it was popular at one period of time. So long as the name is actually nice and not just fashionable, what's the problem? 🤷

AJPTaylor · 27/05/2020 08:12

Honestly people over think. Of course names date people. I do a lot of family history as a hobby.
Typically starting from 1850s, girls names are e.g.
Harriet
Hannah
Ada
Elsie
Marjorie
Valerie/Eileen/Joyce
Susan
Lisa/Sarah
Emily/Florence/Hannah

I could have a decent guess at the decade a woman was born last century as could many. More tricky with chaps as they tend to be john/james/George/William until the 1950s.
Call your kid River, Forest or Stream by all means but in years to come some one will be out there going "typical name of the early 2020s"

pinkpinecone · 27/05/2020 08:34

I don't think it's offensive to say a name will date as that is what happens. Names go in and out of fashion in cycles/trends. It is just staring the obvious that a name will date as all names do to a certain degree.

Names like Emma and Hannah were very on trend in the 80s and now sounds dated. Right now it's all the granny chic names are on trend again just like they were 100 years ago. In 30 years when Olivia and Theo start naming their children their names will sound dated.

What I do dislike is people calling names 'chavvy' I can't stand that term because it's prejudiced and needs to disappear imo. There is a fair amount of snobbery on Mumsnet from people who all seem to want their children to be lawyers and apparently there are only a certain names people can have in the profession. That view to me sounds very small minded and in my experience often comes from people with limited experience of the world.

peperethecat · 27/05/2020 10:01

Names like Emma and Hannah were very on trend in the 80s and now sounds dated.

These aren't good examples.

Names like Hayley and Nicola were very on trend in the 80s and now they sound dated.

Names like Emma and Hannah (I'd add Katherine and Sarah to this list) were particularly popular in the 80s but they have also enjoyed a certain degree of popularity at just about every point in history going back hundreds of years.

I did my family tree a couple of years ago and there were Emmas and Hannahs and Katherines and Sarahs in every generation of it going back to the 18th century. If you called a baby Emma or Hannah or Katherine or Sarah today it would be a lot more unusual than it was in the 1980s, but I think it would be seen as refreshing rather than dated.

If you called a baby Hayley or Nicola now it would sound like an 80s name, because the 80s is probably the only time you would see one of those in your family tree.

peperethecat · 27/05/2020 10:02

In my generation, Elizabeth and Victoria were the names people used to be timeless, but you don't get a lot of Victorias these days.

I'd still say these were both timeless.

You don't see so many these days because people use a wider range of names.

Kokeshi123 · 27/05/2020 10:04

Yes, I don't think Emma or Hannah are dated. Bit bland. But not tied to any particular decade.

Something like "Kelly" would be my example of a name that screams "80s."

peperethecat · 27/05/2020 10:06

With baby names I honestly think it's best to say nothing if you can't say anything nice. It isn't imperative that you voice your opinion that a name will date.

Surely the point of this board is to get people to express their honest opinions. Better people tell you Candida is a yeast infection or Rueben is misspelt or Jaxson is downmarket or Tracey is definitely not due a comeback on here when you have a chance to reconsider, than you go ahead with it and everybody in real life politely says "that's nice" whilst privately thinking "wtf".

herecomesgeralt · 27/05/2020 10:29

@Chicchicchicchiclana you're missing the point that people are actually posting ASKING for opinions. Few people would just impose their unasked-for opinion on a new parent in real life.

pinkpinecone · 27/05/2020 10:39

I used Hannah and Emma as examples as so many of my peers have these names and are now having their own children.

To a lot of my peer group it would seem dated to use the names popular when they were born as their children would share their names with their mother's generation. No one I know has used names popular in the 80s/90s.

I appreciate some will rise and fall more sharply, but even the ones that linger are especially tied to a certain points in time when they were at their peak in popularity.

Naming is very subjective, so one person's timeliness classic is another's persons dated and dull.

pinkpinecone · 27/05/2020 10:44

I agree these boards are a great way to find out what people really think. I think mainly to find out if you are about to accidentally name your child something offensive or ridiculous or to see if you care enough about people opinions to be put off. After all they are just the opinions of random people on the internet.

babynamelover · 27/05/2020 10:59

I don't personally find it offensive when someone suggests that a name might date to me that's just an observation rather than being hurtful or insensitive.
I think there are definitely names that are tied to a certain year or few years and then there are the popular/common/classic names that always seem to be around.
If people are asking for advice be respectful but honest I say 😊

Cattenberg · 27/05/2020 11:12

Look at all the Kylies from the 1980's. Says it all really.

I was just going to say the same thing. I know a Kylie. Before I met her, I assumed she was born in the second half of the 80s, and I was right. There’s nothing wrong with the name, but it is very much linked to that time period.

You do get surprises - In the last few years I’ve met a 20-something Margaret and a 50-year-old Jessica. But the fact that these were surprises suggests that these names have also become linked to particular time periods.

walkingchuckydoll · 27/05/2020 11:50

Most names become old. In my friendship group the parents who tried the hardest to have a unique name that still sounded trendy and normal mostly found that their choice ended up in the top ten of that year . You might as well choose what you like. One person was quite vocal about hating any name in the top 100. That was for the stupid masses (not my words). They named their child Elsa because it was sooooo unique. Two months later the Frozen disney movie came out.

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