do names need to be full versions

[rhia22]

me and my partner are arguing because we love the names freddie charlie and jamie for our boy but I think he should have the long versions on his birth certificate (even though i don't necessarily like frederick charles and james) and my boyfriend doesn't... what are people's take on this?

DC1 has a short formal name, but this has a nn that I don’t like and was determined to not have used, so we made up our own. This didn’t stick but neither did the common nn, she is now called a very short version of her name or her full name.

DD2 has a long formal name but was called by the common nn from birth, through school and although she wanted to change it when she went to secondary and 6th form both times she was with friends that kept on with the nn. Now at uni she only answers to her full name and has thanked us for giving her the option to change.

I have a Josh not a Joshua - his Dad didn’t like the long version. That is the name we wanted to give him so that’s on his birth certificate. I don’t see it as any different to calling my child Alfie or Archie as seems to be way now, I’d stake money on a tiny % of those children being Archibald or Alfred.

I have a long name and I'm never known by it. It doesn't feel like me so I don't see the point of having a long name just for the birth cert.

I (slightly perversely) went for Thomas on the BC although I only liked Tom. My son used to complain about teachers using Thomas as he only liked being called Tom. That said, now he's older, he's started choosing to use Thomas for more formal stuff.

Which frankly is no help whatsoever (!) other than I suppose it shows perhaps the merit of kids making their own choices if the name lends itself to that option.

A mum at school only ever called her son Teddy (though legally an Edward). School told her in year 2 that they thought Teddy too babyish so would only call him Edward thereafter. A bold call we thought...

I have a long name that is commonly shortened.
At various times of my life / in different circumstances, I have used different versions. I'm very glad to have had that option.

I think too many folk think about naming "their baby" without remembering they are naming someone who will be a tenager / a young adult / a parent / o professional / o middle aged person, / an older person / a person who will be addressed in formal situations as well as by their mates.

I knew a Gerb called Gerbil.

Definitely full version on the birth certificate, especially for those particular names.

Also, since you're not married your boyfriend doesn't legally have a say in the matter and you can do whatever you like.

Yes, of course you should give the full names.

You're just giving them more choice. And that's always good. It doesn't stop you, and them, calling themselves by the short form, but if they don't like it they've got another option.

If you're not married, whose surname is the baby having? If you're letting the baby have his surname, you call the shots elsewhere.

I don’t think so tbh

Oh re-read it... well, YOU are the only one with a legal right to fill in that certificate, and so the choice is yours. Make sure it IS your choice.

No I think having the name you like on the birth certificate is the way forward. If you don’t like Charles, Frederick & James don’t name your child that use Charlie, Freddie & Jamie.

Go for the full thing if not youre limiting your child - a name like archibald will not be used fully whereas katherine or charlotte or thomas might - its like just giving them half a name - unfair they should get to own their name especially if the other child gets a nice long name - if you cant accept all nicknames dont give the name

My name is the short version on my birth certificate.
I don’t get this whole thing of giving them options by having the full name on the birth certificate.
I’ve been called ‘Lottie’ my entire life, it’s my name why would I suddenly change to ‘Charlie’?
If I want to change my name I will do regardless of the birth certificate.

if you cant accept all nicknames dont give the name

I think this is an interesting point. I know quite a few people who use perfectly reasonable nicknames of their given names, which their parents dislike.

I think it's quite odd to give a nickname version because you don't like a names other shortenings, as when the child is older they may actual prefer using a different one.

For example naming them Billy rather than William, because you dislike the name Will.

@rhia22
So what did you decide op?
I was thinking you should do a aibu and have a vote. You could ask for adults with shortened names (Kate, Will etc) on their birth certificates do you like it or would you prefer the long version was on BC? Obviously it won't tell you what your child will think but it's probably the best indication you can get. Asking parents is pretty much pointless, of course they like the names they choose. Besides, they don't have to live with it.

I wonder if an aibu vote among adults with shortened names would give a conclusive answer or more 50/50 in which case you're no further forward. On the other hand it could show 90% like the short version, then job done, go with the short version. But, if it shows 90% wish they had the long version, well, what do you do then? Particularly if you don't really like the long version?

If you do decide to do an aibu poll, please link here as I'd be really interested to see the result.

as when the child is older they may actual prefer using a different one. For example naming them Billy rather than William, because you dislike the name Will.

Surely it would be up to them though to use whichever shortening they prefer? Better the child/adult they'll become, has a name they like than they have a name their parent likes but they don't? Maybe I'm just a bad example though. I have a shortened name on my bc. The long version would have given me at least five options to choose from, the name I have is my least favourite of the five.

Surely it would be up to them though to use whichever shortening they prefer?

Pehaps I haven't explained myself very well. As I think we're in agreement.

My point was parent decides they dislike the nickname Will, so they don't call their child William.

Instead they call him Billy, which means the child doesn't get the choice of other nicknames.

And if your given name is Kitty (for instance) and everyone assumes the whole thing is Katherine anyway and you much prefer Kate, I can imagine it being pretty annoying that your parents didn’t give you the long version.

And if your given name is Kitty (for instance) and everyone assumes the whole thing is Katherine anyway and you much prefer Kate, I can imagine it being pretty annoying that your parents didn’t give you the long version.

I was born in the 1970s when having a shortened name on your birth certificate was very unusual.
My name can be short for a couple of names.
I very occasionally get asked if it’s short for x or y. I’ve once had someone assume my full name is x.
I’ve never felt the need to use one of the other names that would be open to me had I been given the full. My name is my name, why would I change that?

We went with the short versions on the birth certificates. We have a long surname and the longer versions of the names sound clunky with it but, regardless of that, we didn’t like the longer full versions of their names and they didn’t suit them either.

I was born in the 1970s when having a shortened name on your birth certificate was very unusual.
My name can be short for a couple of names.
I very occasionally get asked if it’s short for x or y. I’ve once had someone assume my full name is x.
I’ve never felt the need to use one of the other names that would be open to me had I been given the full. My name is my name, why would I change that?

Thank you, exactly. A name is your name. You wouldn’t say a Zoe or a Lara or a Hannah for example needed options for a name so why would a Katie or a Ben or a Jake

I was thinking you should do a aibu and have a vote. You could ask for adults with shortened names (Kate, Will etc) on their birth certificates do you like it or would you prefer the long version was on BC? Obviously it won't tell you what your child will think but it's probably the best indication you can get. Asking parents is pretty much pointless, of course they like the names they choose. Besides, they don't have to live with it.

Yes this. I have a shortened name on my BC, I have never ever given it moments consideration that I could have had a longer name. I’ve never wanted a longer name because, you know, the longer name isn’t my name!!! I don’t particularly like my name but that’s neither here nor there and wouldn’t use the longer version as it’s not my name!!!!!

I would definitely put what you intend to call them on the BC.

My brother is e.g. an Alex with Alexander on the BC. He has never once been called Alexander but now he works in the NHS and has to provide his passport when he rotates jobs and they always use his full name for his email account, professional registration etc.

He finds it a massive pest as people just assume that's what he goes by as it's the name that pops up even though he signs everything "Alex"

I’ve never felt the need to use one of the other names that would be open to me had I been given the full. My name is my name, why would I change that?

OK, happy to accept that I'm extrapolating.