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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Friend used our baby name (without knowing), should we pick a new name?

57 replies

rosewater20 · 09/02/2020 03:55

DP and I are expecting our first baby (a boy) in a couple of months. We have very different name preferences and have only been able to agree on the name Rowan. We wanted a name that is Irish in origin in honour of DP's family (the middle name will honour two of my relatives). We have gone through about every Irish name, and none of them felt right. We love the name Rowan and spent months referring to the baby by that name.

DP's best friend had a baby boy last week and named him "Rowan." We see this friend and his family about four times per year as they live a few hours away. However, DP's friendship group is very close and interconnected. They think it is odd that we are still considering using the name Rowan and have told us we should pick a different name.

I am of the opinion that no one owns a name and we can name him Rowan if we like. That being said, I am now slightly worried that the name might be too trendy?

The only other name that we seem to agree on is Kieran. But we don't love it as much as we love Rowan.

Do you think we should pick a different name now that DP's friend has named his son Rowan? Is Rowan too popular and trendy now? And are there other names of Irish origin that are similar to Rowan (I don't like Roan or Roman).

Help!

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MarthasGinYard · 09/02/2020 04:07

Had your DH discussed the name with his BF?

I personally would think it odd if my BF called her dc the same as mine.

TillyTheTiger · 09/02/2020 04:12

How about Rohan?

eaglejulesk · 09/02/2020 04:22

If you want to call your child Rowan then do so. As you said, no-one owns a name and you don't have to change a name you agreed on months ago simply because someone you don't see very often has used the same name for their baby. I think it's odd that they think you should pick another name, and especially that they have TOLD you to pick another name.

Helini · 09/02/2020 04:46

Call.him Rowan. Just explain to original Rowan's parents beforehand to give them the heads up.

waltzingparrot · 09/02/2020 04:53

Ronan

ColdCottage · 09/02/2020 05:44

Id still use the name. They don't live close by and you don't see them often.
Agree just explain that you'd been planning to name your son that long before they announced their sons name so they don't feel you "stole" it. Nobody owns a name. Only person I wouldn't use same name as would be a sibling of mines child.

Bedroomdilemma · 09/02/2020 06:08

Yes, Ronan I think is nicer.
Kieran should be slept Ciaran, no K in Irish I understand. There’s also Cian and Cillian, with a similar feel.

Bedroomdilemma · 09/02/2020 06:09

But choose Rowan if you like!

SingingLily · 09/02/2020 06:18

I agree with PPs. No one owns a name and you have spent months thinking of your child as Rowan. It has particular meaning for you now.

I especially agree with eaglejukesk. The friends asking you to pick another name are either not thinking straight or are simply being unreasonable. No one has a monopoly on a name. They'll get over it.

Juliette20 · 09/02/2020 06:39

I think Rohan is nicer for a boy.

saraclara · 09/02/2020 06:50

You only see them for times a year. Stick with your name. And the other friends can mind their own business.

whatswithtodaytoday · 09/02/2020 06:54

I'd email them beforehand to explain, but definitely use the name if you still love it.

Someone I know had a baby two months after me and used the same (kind of unusual) name. We're not close so not quite the same situation, but I don't mind at all - it's an excellent name!

dottiedodah · 09/02/2020 07:00

No one "owns" a name its true .However I think it might be better if you chose a different name .Apart from anything else 2 Rowans will be difficult to deal with when you are all together !

Pippilsngstrumpf · 09/02/2020 07:18

They like be 4 hours away. Of course you can use Rowan!

GryffinDora · 09/02/2020 07:19

Corin?

BlackCatSleeping · 09/02/2020 07:21

There are so many baby names out there. I’d keep thinking and hopefully come up with something else you both love.

CeibaTree · 09/02/2020 07:22

When I was at school there were multiple Toms, Bens and Matts - and some of their parents would have been friends prior to becoming parents. So I think using the same names within friendship groups used to be less of a big deal than it is now! Rowan is a brilliant name, just go ahead and use it, but maybe let the other Rowan's parents know beforehand and just mention your reasons to them so they know you are not copying them :)

Winifredgoose · 09/02/2020 07:25

Call your son Rowan. It is totally unreasonable of friends to say you shouldn't. You only see them 4 times a year. I have two very good friends who have called their children derivatives of two of my childrens names. They approached me v carefully before. I couldn't care less.
The only exception to this for me is cousins. I would find it a bit weird if one of my siblings used the same name. Maybe because we see each other a lot.
Beyond that, anything goes.

stellabelle · 09/02/2020 07:28

Why does your DHs entire friendship group know what you intend to call your child ? Sorry but that's odd.

jackio2205 · 09/02/2020 07:29

Me and a very good friend had the same baby name and neither of us batted an eyelid. She told me her baby name when she was pregnant and immediately I said no way thats mine too, so it was out there and we both stuck to it. They're spelt slightly differently but same name. Please choose whichever name you love, there are trends of names and fashions, no such thing as unique unless you make up a name, go for it! X

Crazydaisy11 · 09/02/2020 07:47

Cian
Ciaran
Cillian
Kyran
Rohan
Ronan
Rian

I'd choose a different name unless I was 100% in love with it then I wouldn't care!

Original poster

rosewater20 · 09/02/2020 08:01

Thank you, everyone.

I love the name Rowan and feel annoyed that others think they can tell us what we can and cannot name our child. I have spent hours going through baby name books and looking for names online, and I haven't found one that I love as much as Rowan. We will keep looking because I want to be sure of the name, but so far nothing tops Rowan.

@stellabelle DP doesn't feel the need to keep the name private. He hasn't told his entire friend group but has told a few close friends. Although, it is perhaps good that DP had told others about the name because they at least know that we had planned to use the name prior to their friend using it.

@MarthasGinYard, DP can't remember if he had mentioned the name prior to friend naming his baby.

OP posts:

Whatsyourflava · 09/02/2020 08:06

I think it’s fine for you to still use it if you want. Like you say no one owns a name

Yes it is a very trendy name so it just depends if that bothers you or not? It’s top 100 now (first time in history) and rising rapidly so that’s probably the very definition of “trendy”. It’s also similar to Roman and that name is the fastest rising top 100 name (likely to be top 10/20 on current trajectory in next couple of years) and the names are quite interchangeable.

So in answer to your question, I think it’s completely fine to use the name even though someone else has used it. However if you don’t want a trendy name, then I wouldn’t use it as it is the epitome of trendy ❤️

CottonSock · 09/02/2020 08:06

Isn't Rowan a girls name though?

Original poster

rosewater20 · 09/02/2020 08:07

@Bedroomdilemma, ah your right. I like Ciaran over Kieran anyway. I will have to try that out for a few days and see how it feels.

OP posts:

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