Friend used our baby name (without knowing), should we pick a new name?

[rosewater20]

DP and I are expecting our first baby (a boy) in a couple of months. We have very different name preferences and have only been able to agree on the name Rowan. We wanted a name that is Irish in origin in honour of DP's family (the middle name will honour two of my relatives). We have gone through about every Irish name, and none of them felt right. We love the name Rowan and spent months referring to the baby by that name.

DP's best friend had a baby boy last week and named him "Rowan." We see this friend and his family about four times per year as they live a few hours away. However, DP's friendship group is very close and interconnected. They think it is odd that we are still considering using the name Rowan and have told us we should pick a different name.

I am of the opinion that no one owns a name and we can name him Rowan if we like. That being said, I am now slightly worried that the name might be too trendy?

The only other name that we seem to agree on is Kieran. But we don't love it as much as we love Rowan.

Do you think we should pick a different name now that DP's friend has named his son Rowan? Is Rowan too popular and trendy now? And are there other names of Irish origin that are similar to Rowan (I don't like Roan or Roman).

Help!

I personally would rather have a different name to my husband best mates child but I absolutely don’t think you should feel obliged. Your choice!

Yes Rowan/Roman is very trendy at the moment so it just depends how much that will bother you. There’s 2 Roman’s in my Nct group of 8 babies. Both Roman and Rowan are top 100 names that are rising rapidly. Neither have every been in the top 100 before in history and Roman looks set to be top 20 in next year on current trajectory

@CottonSock Rowan isn’t just a girls name, it’s a unisex name but it is getting more and more popular for girls, around 100 girls were given the name Rowan last year according to official stats and there’s more each year. Interestingly it’s a top 100 girls name in Scotland (rising rapidly) but doesn’t feature on the boys list there.
Where I’m from in Uk Roman seems to slowly be emerging as the masculine form of the name and Rowan the female form (maybe because of the MAN vs ANNE feminine sound at the end of Roman vs Rowan)

No one owns a name.

Yeh no one owns a name, it’s just whether you still want to use it or not. I don’t think they have any right to be annoyed.

My baby daughter is called Rowan by the way, so obviously I like the name. It’s unisex and getting more popular for girls in UK and US as a few famous people have chosen the name for their daughters (eg Brooke Shields). Had I realised how trendy it is for both girls and boys I probably wouldn’t have picked it to be honest. I also hadn’t appreciated that Roman (with an M) has come from nowhere to be fastest rising boy name and there’s 2 at my small local nursery and the names all get muddled so when I phone i usually say “I’m phoning about Rowan with a W”. It just depends if this type of thing bothers you or not. I think the YouTuber called Roman Attoward and Roman Kemp are going to keep propelling the popularity of Roman for some time to come unfortunately for me 😫😆

If you want Irish name suggestions, I’d start a new thread with the title being “Irish names” or something - you’ll get more suggestions that way I think 😊

It's extremely presumptuous of your dp's 'friendship group' to tell you (!!!) not to use the name. Who on earth do they think they are? These children will barely see each other, won't be at the same schools, etc. (not that it would change my view a great deal if they were to live next door to one another). A name is for life, not just for childhood.

If your dp loses friends over this, then it's an indictment of their ideas of friendship.

Call him Rowan (lovely name, justified popularity).

Roman and Rowan are completely different names!

@rosewater20 you couldn’t really pick a more trendy name.
I think your husband’s mate has done you a favour. So many Rowan/Rohan/Roan/Roman ‘s about now. All so similar and ripe for confusion.
I actually also prefer Rowan for a girl but wouldn’t use now it’s so trendy.

Having said that, no one owns a name as people keep saying, it’s your choice

Definitely not a girl's name. It wouldn't bother me if one of my friends called their baby the same as mine

@ cattlestreet - yes I hoped Roman and Rowan would be seen as different names but sadly they often aren’t in my experience. My daughter gets called Roman by accident quite a bit, even at the hospital recently.

“Definitely not a girls name”?!
Tell that to the 100 girls in England (and rising) that were given the name last year.
It’s a unisex name xx

I think it’s got to be how you feel re still using it. One of our DC shares a name with x2 friends children. They are absolutely good and close friends but we don’t see either of them often due to distance etc. Also the kids are a few years apart in age so it didn’t seem like an issue and no one was bothered. This is obviously different to your circumstances but if you feel happy then don’t let other people make you doubt yourself (this is a skill needed for parenthood in general!)

As for other suggestions - how about Torin?

Rowan is a great strong boys name. I'd use it, especially as the two boys live far apart!

Use it if you like it. You won't see them much. There'll probably be lots of Rowan's by the time he goes to nursery and school. There's 3 of us with the same name in my extended family. My 5 kids have at least one other with the same name. While at a hospital appointment last week 3 other girls had the same name as my dd. Unless you want something that no one else has you will have to make one up.

For starters these mates can F off! It’s really odd they’d meddle in your child’s name choice- its got nothing to do with them. 😡

That being said, I think if one of your main criteria is that you want to avoid a “trendy name” as you say, then I’d definitely avoid Rowan.

I think what’s happened with your friends calling their daughter Rowan could be a blessing in disguise.

Names like Arthur and Olivia are currently trendy but they have stood the test of time and been in the top 100 before. Roman/Rowan/Rohan has never in history been in top 100 til now but is currently storming up the charts for girls and boys. So it could be a Darren/Sharon type name to the next generations ears. I’m sure Darren and Sharon sounded like lovely fresh (trendy!) names to new parents in the 70s and 80s. And they are actually ok names but obviously very dated.

I'm not sure I'd consider Rowan a traditional Irish boys name. There's no letter w in the Irish alphabet. It's listed as an anglicized version of Ruadhán, but the latter is pronounced differently, as Roo-awn. I haven't come accross the name Roan. If you love it, use it. I wouldn't be too worried about your husband's friend's child as you see them rarely. But, in case you decide not to use it, possible Irish alternatives inclde Ronan or Ronán (the accent giving the second syllable an awn sound). Ronán is the original but Ronan widely used. Means little seal. Also Eoin or Eoghan (pronounced the same and like Owen) sound like Rowan without the R.

If you like it, use it. But it’s really not an Irish name at all. I only know female Rowans personally.

Sorry, a typo in my earlier post. It's Rónán (with two accents/fadas) that's the original version of Ronan. The fada lengthens the sound so this name is pronounced Roan-awn. The anglicized version without fadas is pronounced Roan-an). Just in case you want to consider alternatives...

I had Rowan on my girls’ list from a young ago (Rowan Marlow being a hero for those who read Antonia Forest) but DH thought of it as a boys’ name (Rowan Atkinson, Rowan Williams) so we decided against it. I didn’t think it would ever become popular.

I would use it if you like it, OP. And your friends are weird.

I would still use the name, you don't see these friends often, who knows if you will still be friends in years to come. Someone I know didn't use their chosen name because a close friend beat them to it. A few years later and they hardly saw or heard from these people, no falling out just pressure of family life.

I only know female Rowans. I much prefer Rohan for a boy.

I've been thinking about your situation. You actually named him Rowan first as you've already been calling him that in the womb! I would have your partner tell his friend that and let him explain it! If we are talking about men here they are not as emotional about these things as we are so I'm sure it will be fine! And its really not this group of friends' business!

But if it does really bother you, I would suggest Ryan. Irish name too and better known but not as in current "demand" as Rowan. I do know several- it is getting quite common. I like the sound and meaning better. They are similar but to me Ryan is more dignified but that's just my personal opinion. I do like Rowan. It was on my list at one point but now I'm obsessed with Callahan!

I'm sure if you go with Rowan it will be fine! You guys see each other only a few times a year and friends grow apart. And the friendship group sounds kinda mean and unsupportive if they dont understand your side on this!

No one own a name and you are perfectly within your rights to stick to your original name choice

HOWEVER

I personally would never want to call my DC the same name as anyone in mine or my OH's friendship or family groups. It's one thing if it was a colleague or distant friend, but this is his best friend so it would be a no from me.

I think if you had your heart set on it and don’t use it there will always be a bit of a regret there. What about spelling it Roan so it’s a bit different?

Just use it. Rowan is lovely and you have great reasons for using it, which haven’t changed. Doesn’t sound like you see them enough for it to be confusing.

Not “trendy” at all in my book. I’ve only ever met one Rowan, an adult (male). Plus the previous Archbishop and Rowan Atkinson, also male and over 50. It’s traditional but not boring.

I've only met one Rowan, a 13 year old lovely boy. Otherwise I think of Rowan Atkinson.

Yeh it used to be a fairly unusual name until the last couple of years or so and it’s now leaping up the top 100 and Roman is fastest rising name. Think back to names like Noah and Theo that used to be very rare 10+ years ago and then suddenly entered top 100, became fastest risi names and boomed.