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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

2 family names repeated by cousin... weird?

62 replies

Thistly · 03/09/2019 08:33

Hi,
my dp’s cousin has announced the birth of his 2nd child, and he has used the same name as our ds for his new baby. Their first child has the same name as dp’s ex wife. It’s a male cousin so same surname.

I think this is weird. We don’t see that much of them; closer to the older generation, so I guess we are just not on their horizon.

I would never use a recently used name by someone in the family; I avoided a name given to my nephew, and another cousin avoided our ds’s Name recently too.
What do you think?
Weird or not weird?

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Inkyfngrs · 03/09/2019 10:33

If the name in question is Sam or Oliver, it's not weird. If the name is Bartholomew or Jardek, it's definitely weird.

LL83 · 03/09/2019 10:37

The cousin is unlikely to even know the name of DP's ex wife so that is irrelevant. Do you think of cousins ex's when considering baby names?

Naming their ds same as yours show you have similar taste. Unless you are very close it is not weird at all.

Original poster

Thistly · 03/09/2019 12:43

Thanks all,
Ok, so quite a lot of people saying it’s not weird.

The below is simply BIZARRE
My cousin got divorced then married a woman with his ex's name and his ex married a man with my cousin's name... and both new partners happened to each already have a son with their previous partners sharing the name of my cousin and his first wife's son together. BRAINMELT.

OP posts:

Original poster

Thistly · 03/09/2019 12:48

The cousin would definitely know the name of the ex wife, whose reputation in the family is pretty low.
His wife on the other hand would not. I just think it’s odd that he wouldn’t have said I to her... err that’s the name of my cousin’s ex wife who wasn’t very nice.

I think it’s the shared surname that makes it odd to me but then i guess if you have a common surname than that’s less of an issue.
I definitely feel I own my name as I have an unusual surname and it’s unlikely there is another person in the country with the same name.

The names in question were fairly low in the top 100 but recently rising.

OP posts:

AlunWynsKnee · 03/09/2019 12:59

My dm has more cousins than I can remember. There's at least one other child with my name and another couple have my db's name as first or middle name.

hexagon01 · 03/09/2019 13:36

It’s interesting isn’t it and I think it depends on the circumstances. My daughter has the same name as my cousin’s daughter. I don’t think I have ever met my cousin (maybe when I was little - nothing bad, just that my dad isn’t close to all of his siblings and he has a lot of them). My daughter will almost certainly never meet my cousin’s daughter, maybe at a funeral one day? I almost let me not choose the name I love (and it’s not a common one, just out of the top 500) but I decided that I was being silly. If it was a cousin that I’m close to, or even not close, but that I’d see every few years, I wouldn’t have chosen it.

MikeUniformMike · 03/09/2019 13:41

I have three cousins with sons called Firstname. It is a popular and nice name. The three Firstnames are second cousins and have different surnames but went to the same schools.
Two other cousins both gave their sons the same name, not a wildly popular one.They didn't go to the same schools and there is a bit of an age gap.
Two different cousins have a daughter with the same name, not a particularly popular one. The two girls are second cosuins and were in the same year at school. They too have different surnames.

eccentricalice · 03/09/2019 13:50

I think it's weird even if you didn't leave anywhere near them. Don't know anyone who would do this personally.... there are plenty of other names to go for!

dottiedodah · 03/09/2019 13:52

Family names often go back a long time !.We have a family name for our DD, and it was already in use by one of her Cousins when she was born!.Also a Great Great Aunt in the family too.I dont think anyone can "own a name" really ,My friend used my sons name for her DS ,and it didnt bother me at all.Funnier still a lady we know has called her dog the same name !.again no bother and DS now in his 20s laughed !

dottiedodah · 03/09/2019 13:53

Not a "doggy "type name at all BTW!

RHTawneyonabus · 03/09/2019 13:55

Two of my cousins (who are themselves cousins not siblings) have named their sons after my lovely grandpa, as have I. There are 3 little ones running around with the same name occasionally but we don’t seen them all that often.

ParkheadParadise · 03/09/2019 13:57

My Grans name, is also my aunties name
I have 1 sister and 7 cousins all named after my gran.
Every sibling of my mums named their first born daughter the same name.
It's bloody confusing having a conversation when you mention the name someone always goes what one😂😂

raspberryk · 03/09/2019 13:59

You're probably not even on their radar so your kids names probably haven't even registered to them. Or someone's ex wife, how many male cousins would remember their cousins wife's name let alone their ex wife? Lol.

CocoLoco87 · 03/09/2019 14:16

I'm loving the Charles the 1st, Chip and baby Charles story, especially since baby Charles is 42 so cute!!

I think that type of thing is nice because it's so blatant. It seems less weird because everyone has entered into it!

whattodowith · 03/09/2019 14:49

Consensus on MN is that you can’t own a name which is true but it is strange to use the same name as someone you are close to imo. I wouldn’t use a name associated with anyone I know, just wouldn’t do it.

NerrSnerr · 03/09/2019 16:19

My brother has the same first name and surname as his cousin and uncle. It hasn't made any difference to anyone's life. Very occasionally someone uses where they live to define them.

I have the same name as my cousin. The only time I ever mention it is on these threads on Mumsnet.

DiamondKim · 03/09/2019 18:37

We couldn't get upset about sharing names in my family, we have 3 Andreas and 2 of them are the same age, we have 2 Carls who are sons of 2
of the Andrea's and they are the same age also. We also have 2 Kerri's, 2 Emma's, 2 Kim's as well.

Josephinebettany · 03/09/2019 20:59

Not weird. You don't own the name.

AMidsummersNightsNightmare · 03/09/2019 21:03

How popular is the name?. My DC have names in the top 20, so if any family repeated them I wouldn’t be bothered because they’re extremely popular.

Sunflower160 · 03/09/2019 21:06

Yep, a bit weird.

whizzpopbangalang · 03/09/2019 21:19

Not weird at all.... especially if family is quite large. I don't even know some of my cousins / second cousins names and there are definitely doubles, triples and a quadruple of some names I know of! Like another poster said, in our family it's almost weirder if the name hasn't been used already!

AverageMummy · 03/09/2019 21:22

Irrespective of the stance on names being used more than once in a family, I do find your inclusion of a distant relatives ex partner a bit odd. They’re not even a family member any more. Is it the marriage that makes it a no go? Or all ex girlfriends and ex boyfriends of all family members are out?
Or is it just because their ‘reputation’ has been trashed? So if somehow everyone liked the ex member of the family, the name would be acceptable for use?
I’m just really baffled by that part.

Fatted · 03/09/2019 21:24

It depends what significance it has in the family. For instance, if they're named after a parent or grandparent.

In my family, my brother and my son both have the same middle name. Which is my dad's name. My eldest is also named after his dad, so it's being passed down as well.

I don't think it's weird. I think people worry too much these days about having unique and different names.

ChildminderMum · 03/09/2019 21:28

So 2nd cousins who don't really see much of each other have the same name?

Don't think it's an issue really.

ChildminderMum · 03/09/2019 21:31

And worrying that a baby has the same name as the parent's cousin's ex is bizarre

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