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Original poster

Should I change her name? Please help :(

101 replies

Mangold · 09/08/2019 17:43

Hi everyone,

I was just wondering if I could get some genuine, blunt advice from Mumsnet. Please give me your honest opinion. And I would like to say first that I hope that this post does not offend or hurt any user in any way, because I'm just one person who's searching for others' opinions, and I would hate to offend others.

So the problem is, I have a baby girl who is only three months old and I'm currently wondering if her name doesn't suit her. Her name is Thalia. DH has been supportive and told me that if I'm unhappy with the name, he is willing to change it and come up with a new shortlist.

I used to love the name, and I still do. But I was on the internet a few days ago, and I saw a photo shoot of the nine muses (one of their names is Thalia). The model who was named Thalia was a Chinese model, and she looked very beautiful in the photo. However, I noticed the comment section below and most of them were talking about how 'Thalia' is a Greek name, the mythological figure is also from a Greek background, and therefore the model to portray her should not be Chinese or Black. Several people were showing their agreement, but it really troubled me. The baby is three-fourths Chinese and one-fourth Russian, and she does not have any Greek roots whatsoever. Her features will probably resemble that of a Chinese woman in the future, and I really, really don't want anyone to look at her and think, 'The name does not really belong/fit with her'.

I've never had these concerns before, especially since she was born in the States and there are many Chinese-Americans here who have all kinds of names. But I didn't know that the name would have such strong roots and that some people would think it does not mix well with people from a different background. The comments were definitely not racist or anything, they were just stating the facts and weren't aggressive by any means.

I don't know, my mind is completely jumbled and I'm not sure what to do. It's only been three months, do you think I should change the name to something more neutral? I know that a lot of people think 'If you love it, stick with it', but those comments keep on nagging me and won't let me rest. Please give me your honest opinions, I would truly appreciate them.

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Horseshoe1 · 09/08/2019 20:56

The only Thalia I have ever known in real life was Chinese American. It suited her perfectly. Don’t worry about this at all x

Acquitaine · 09/08/2019 21:03

It's a beautiful name! If you still love it, keep it.

My DD is Francesca, an Italian name meaning "from France". She is neither Italian nor French, and nor are many of the thousands upon thousands of other women and girls with the same name!

I don't think names work like that anymore (if they ever did!)

saraclara · 09/08/2019 21:03

The only Thalia I have ever known in real life was Chinese American. It suited her perfectly. Don’t worry about this at all

I also only know one Thalia and she's half Chinese half American!
I think it's a gorgeous name. Definitely keep it, OP.

Russell19 · 09/08/2019 21:08

It's a gorgeous name xx

TuffersTickler · 09/08/2019 21:19

The name is absolutely beautiful. I have a friend who is from a East Asian country and his baby girl is Thalia - it suits her perfectly and we all adore her and her name!

thetwinkles · 09/08/2019 21:37

My eldest child has an Arabic name, it has a lovely meaning and is special to us. We are not Arabic not even remotely so!

Woodward12 · 09/08/2019 21:47

It's a lovely name, I think you're over thinking it.

Naming a baby feels a huge responsibility. For the first few months of my ones life it felt a bit unnatural to say it or tell others it, now it fits her perfectly. You might just need sometime to get used to it.

It is a lovely name though if a strangers opinion counts for anything.

CatteStreet · 09/08/2019 22:05

Thalia is a wonderful name, and was high on our list for our dd. Keep it.

LatteLove · 09/08/2019 22:15

Thalia is lovely and your baby sounds lovely. Keep it

SteamedPotatoes · 09/08/2019 22:45

Gorgeous name, you love the name & Baby will grow into the name. Keep it x

sixtimes · 09/08/2019 23:04

Both my children have Hebrew names and we're not from Israel..... Thalia is a beautiful name - stick with it.

FredaNerkk · 09/08/2019 23:10

Great advice from other PPs, and your DH sounds lovely.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 09/08/2019 23:14

Thalia is a beautiful name Mangold. Don’t let a bunch of idiot internet strangers, spouting shite they’d never vocalise irl, ruin it for you.

Sophronia · 09/08/2019 23:58

Thalia is lovely, don’t change it!

Shockers · 10/08/2019 00:04

My name is of Greek origin. I’m not Greek and nobody cares in real life, but I’ve read comments on here that are less than complimentary about my name. I love it though. Thalia is a beautiful name- don’t let random strangers you might not respect in real life determine your daughter’s name!

Happymum12345 · 10/08/2019 00:09

Bless you! Keep her beautiful name & forget the comments. We live in a wonderfully diverse world where anything goes. It does sound like it could be a touch of baby blues, or a lack of sleep. I felt I couldn’t make any decisions after having babies.

Marlena1 · 10/08/2019 00:38

My kids names are chloe and sophie. Google says both Greek! I am defo not Greek neither is DP. If you like it don't change it.

IsobelRae23 · 10/08/2019 01:03

I’m welsh, my name is Italian. My dc’s are Irish names 🤷🏻‍♀️. Thalia is gorgeous.

Snoopy90 · 10/08/2019 05:45

Definitely keep Thalia, it's really pretty.

Steerpike902 · 10/08/2019 08:48

I think it's a lovely name. It's common to over obsess over small things after giving birth, keep an eye out on your mental health! I never thought I had PPD but I wasn't looking after myself after having my second. Only the kids. I'd forget to shower and brush my hair and not want to go outside. It's only after my husband said he was worried about me we went to the doctor.

Pekkanekka · 10/08/2019 08:58

I love this name. Considered using it ourselves for our (mixed white and black Caribbean) teen. Probably would have shortened it to Tally....
16 year old's friend of Indian heritage is called Talia - suits her perfectly.

Constance1234 · 10/08/2019 09:15

Thalia is beautiful, and it doesn't matter it's origins. Not in today's globalised world. My son has an ancient Roman name as his middle name - we are not ancient Romans and I never considered that a problem in using the name :)

swissmilk · 10/08/2019 09:27

You are over thinking it op.
The comments that were left under the photograph were racist.

restingbf · 10/08/2019 09:38

Keep the name! It's lovely

IdaBWells · 10/08/2019 09:59

Just so you know OP it is SO common as a new mother to fixate on something and ruminate on it anxiously and quite obsessively. If you are finding yourself getting more anxious in other ways you may want to get screened for PND but it actually manifests much more as anxiety rather than depression. FYI. Enjoy your baby xxx