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Original poster

Should I change her name? Please help :(

101 replies

Mangold · 09/08/2019 17:43

Hi everyone,

I was just wondering if I could get some genuine, blunt advice from Mumsnet. Please give me your honest opinion. And I would like to say first that I hope that this post does not offend or hurt any user in any way, because I'm just one person who's searching for others' opinions, and I would hate to offend others.

So the problem is, I have a baby girl who is only three months old and I'm currently wondering if her name doesn't suit her. Her name is Thalia. DH has been supportive and told me that if I'm unhappy with the name, he is willing to change it and come up with a new shortlist.

I used to love the name, and I still do. But I was on the internet a few days ago, and I saw a photo shoot of the nine muses (one of their names is Thalia). The model who was named Thalia was a Chinese model, and she looked very beautiful in the photo. However, I noticed the comment section below and most of them were talking about how 'Thalia' is a Greek name, the mythological figure is also from a Greek background, and therefore the model to portray her should not be Chinese or Black. Several people were showing their agreement, but it really troubled me. The baby is three-fourths Chinese and one-fourth Russian, and she does not have any Greek roots whatsoever. Her features will probably resemble that of a Chinese woman in the future, and I really, really don't want anyone to look at her and think, 'The name does not really belong/fit with her'.

I've never had these concerns before, especially since she was born in the States and there are many Chinese-Americans here who have all kinds of names. But I didn't know that the name would have such strong roots and that some people would think it does not mix well with people from a different background. The comments were definitely not racist or anything, they were just stating the facts and weren't aggressive by any means.

I don't know, my mind is completely jumbled and I'm not sure what to do. It's only been three months, do you think I should change the name to something more neutral? I know that a lot of people think 'If you love it, stick with it', but those comments keep on nagging me and won't let me rest. Please give me your honest opinions, I would truly appreciate them.

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MoreFrog · 09/08/2019 18:19

The commenters were actually talking about a Chinese model playing a Greek character, rather than about the origin of the name

Yup. This. Thalia is a lovely name, and I'd keep it.

Herat1986 · 09/08/2019 18:21

Both my kids names are Germanic and neither me or my husband have ever even been to Germany. Don't give it another thought x

ArnoldBee · 09/08/2019 18:22

My name is Greek and the shortened version is Greek slang for a blow job. I have no Greek ancestry whatsoever and I went to Kos for 6 hours once. I have survived without any comments for the past 40 years.

My Singaporean friends all have what you would call English sounding names and they don't get any comments.

You seem to be over thinking this which could be because you want to get it right or a sign of other things going on for you. Try and get some perspective and then see how you feel.

Niyamamama · 09/08/2019 18:23

Zoe, Melissa, Sophia and Lydia are all Greek names too. Keep the name op, future generations will have such a diverse range of names that no one will bat an eyelid.

Crunched · 09/08/2019 18:28

It is a beautiful name, keep it. Flowers

AloneLonelyLoner · 09/08/2019 18:32

Thalia is a beautiful name and what's more, if she goes to China or for whatever reason needs to take a Chinese name (I've had to do this with my work) in China, Thalia (because of the syllables) really fits easily into Chinese (but you probably know that).

escapade1234 · 09/08/2019 18:39

I had this after one of my children. Drove myself out of my mind obsessing about it. I thought about it every minute of the day. It was so unlike me and so distressing. I was convinced I didn’t have pnd and it is only now, with true passing of years, I can see clearly that I did.

Screamqueenz · 09/08/2019 18:55

It's absolutely beautiful, keep it

EllenRipley · 09/08/2019 19:13

Thalia is beautiful and I've no doubt matches your lovely bubba! You're doing the probably knackered new mum thing of overthinking every decision that relates to a new baby. Every name has a cultural origin. There's millions of humans in the world whose names bare no cultural relation to their DNA. One daft internet page with random comments from opinionated strangers with too much time on their hands doesn't change that fact (obvs that statement doesn't apply to Mumsnet). Honestly, it's a great name, I love it.

StCharlotte · 09/08/2019 20:14

Oh it's such a lovely name, please keep it Smile

So many names have migrated and I think it's lovely. Incidentally I know a grown up Thalia, she's Jewish.

NichyNoo · 09/08/2019 20:17

I have an Isaac and a Samuel and we're not Jewish.....atheists in fact.

Blastnamechangeagain · 09/08/2019 20:20

Honestly you are completely over thinking this.
You absolutely do not need to change the name because she is not Greek.

I have a Greek name also and not a single drop of Greek blood it is not an issue!

Enjoy your baby and stop worrying about the name it’s lovely and one day she will completely own it.
Also please stop googling her name!

HalfManHalfLabrador · 09/08/2019 20:21

I think your over thinking because of a few stupid comments on the internet and should stick with the name if you like it

Scipio · 09/08/2019 20:22

My elderly mother is a Thalia. She has no Greek ancestry whatsoever. My grandmother just loved the name & chose it after reading about the Muses. She pronounces it THAY-lee-a, which I'm guessing is not how OP pronounces it.

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/08/2019 20:24

I'd ignore the comments of some random internet bigots. It's a lovely name with a beautiful meaning.

DickieDonkey · 09/08/2019 20:26

Really nice name, don’t change it unless you have another name that you love and are 100% sure of. Definitely don’t change it just because of those comments!

pallisers · 09/08/2019 20:29

It is beautiful and you don't need to be Greek to use it. I have an african-american friend whose child is Athena - no greek roots at all as far as they know but it is a beautiful name that suits her perfectly.

Warmhandscoldheart · 09/08/2019 20:33

It's a wonderful name. My DC both have Greek names because their Father's favourite restaurant was Greek Smile

number1wang · 09/08/2019 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thatnovembernight · 09/08/2019 20:42

My daughter has a Greek name but isn’t remotely Greek/from that part of the world. I’ve never given it a moments thought. It’s a lovely name - enjoy it!

ShinyRuby · 09/08/2019 20:42

Definitely keep the name, it's very pretty. I worried over my dds initials when she was a similar age, it's honestly never been an issue but I still got into a state. We all worry too much & it's even harder now we can see everyone's opinion on the internet. It's a lovely name.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/08/2019 20:47

Keep Thalia. It's a gorgeous name and your baby's ethnicity doesn't matter a bit.

mummabubs · 09/08/2019 20:49

We've given our son a Scandinavian name- both myself and my husband are British, with no Scandinavian roots whatsoever! Honestly @Mangold, if you still love the name then keep it! It honestly doesn't matter what others think x

idhavenoluckifitwasntforbadluc · 09/08/2019 20:52

Stick. Lovely name.

strawberrypenguin · 09/08/2019 20:52

Thalia is a lovely name. The only one I've met in rl was blonde and English, no Greek heritage at all.
Maybe in that photo the Thalia should have been Greek but it's different in real life. A lot of people use names from different cultures.