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Original poster

Changing our Child's name at age 5?

76 replies

NorwichDad · 11/07/2019 13:14

I am after some advice about changing our child's legal name please.

His official first and middle names are Theodore Edward. Since the moment of his birth we have called him Teddy.

This was always our plan as we thought if he wanted to be a brain surgeon, Dr Theodore might be preferable to Dr Teddy. We wanted to give him flexibility, he could be Theo, Theodore, Ted, Teddy, whatever he wanted basically.

At school and nursery he is/was known as Teddy and other than the odd person who doesn't know him well, this is all he's ever been called.

He identifies 100% as Teddy and is very adamant that Teddy is his "Real" name and only occasionally concedes Theodore is his "Long" name, usually only after much discussion. He refuses to learn how to spell or write it.

Whenever i call him Theodore or hear someone call him Theo, it almost physically makes me cringe.

My wife and i have discussed changing his name by deed poll to Teddy to make his life simpler and consolidate his sense of identity however, we're on the fence whether to do it now or leave it up to him when he's older.

What's your thoughts please?

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BlueberryFool123 · 11/07/2019 13:16

I wouldn’t. Lots of people use a shortened name in day to day life and don’t officially change.

Teddy is a nice name, but he may not like the abbreviation when he is older. Leave it as it is. If he wants to officially change when he’s older he can.

Musicalstatues · 11/07/2019 13:16

Just leave it - he’s only 5! You always planned for him to be known as Teddy and that’s what’s happened. He’s got a few years to go before anyone would expect him to be using Theodore for anything.

Apolloanddaphne · 11/07/2019 13:17

I would just leave it. He can call himself Teddy all his life and only have Theodore on his official stuff or he can change it when he is older if he wants to. My DH has one name on her BC (Agnes) and has been known as an entirely different name (Nancy) all her life. She has had no identity issues!

OhioOhioOhio · 11/07/2019 13:19

Leave it. No need at all for a fuss.

Grandcentralstation · 11/07/2019 13:19

Don’t change it. As much as he loves it now he may change and be grateful for Theodore. One of my DC had a very cutesy nickname too, from birth and suddenly got to age 10 and decided it was too babyish and they wanted to start using their ‘real’ name.

NannyR · 11/07/2019 13:20

I'd leave things as they are and let him make the decision if he wants to when he's older. On school forms and suchlike there is usually a space for "known as".

Napqueen1234 · 11/07/2019 13:21

Don’t do it. I personally prefer a ‘proper name’ even though my nickname is perfectly acceptable. He’s only 5 he doesn’t really get the choice....

Paddingtonthebear · 11/07/2019 13:22

I would leave it and he can decide when he is an adult. He may decide to stick with Teddy and never use Theodore. I have a friend who has a long name, say something like Catherine but it’s not actually Catherine. She has been called by a shorter name her entire life, and it is completely different to her full name. In fact most people who know her don’t even know her real name. I also have lots of friends with shortened names like Andy, Steve, Tom, Becky, Liz. None of these use the full version of their names in day to day life. It’s fairly normal.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 11/07/2019 13:22

Leave it. Why land him with a name change to declare later on official forms etc? This way he has lots of great name options, just as you originally intended.

TheJoxter · 11/07/2019 13:22

Don’t

My brother has always gone by a name that isn’t even usually a shortened version of his full name, he likes having an ‘official’ name for paperwork etc that’s different to his day-to-day name. You don’t ever need to call him Theodore out loud, even if he becomes a brain surgeon he can be Dr. Theodore Surname on paperwork and just Teddy when you talk to him.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 11/07/2019 13:24

Leave it! Dont lumber your kid with deed poll papers.

I have a long name and I was and always have been the shorter version. Long version was on my exam papers and that was it

Fatkins · 11/07/2019 13:24

I would also leave it. He might hate Theodore now, but I think he might like it later. If anyone calls him Theo just correct them. He will be (or maybe already is) able to correct them himself soon enough.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 11/07/2019 13:25

I wouldn't change it. He might like Teddy at 5 but when he's 10 or 15 he may prefer Theodore or even Theo. At the end of the day you gave him the name so he has a choice he wont be 5 forever and he may still prefer to be called Teddy even when he's 50 but he probably wont thank you for taking that choice away as he gets older.

Figgygal · 11/07/2019 13:26

I wouldn't either
my 7 year old actually asked me how to spell his legal name last night as he always uses the shortened version as does everyone else (and school/clubs etc).
Teddy is his name you admit everyone uses it leaving it as it is allows him to make choices when he is older.

Emmapeeler · 11/07/2019 13:26

Kids are very particular about things aged 5 that they have a different view on later in life. I would leave it personally.

OhMsBeliever · 11/07/2019 13:27

My son was adamant at the same age that he was the shortened version of his name, because we never used the long one. No one ever calls him by his full name, most people don't even realise he has the full version.

When he started school they asked what he was known as and asked me what name I'd like him to be taught to write, so I said the shortened name which they were absolutely fine about.

Just keep calling him Teddy, and no one needs to know his name is Theodore unless they're an official person. And even then they can be told he uses Teddy. And when he's older he has the option of being known as a Teddy or Theodore. (Or any other nickname)

My son is 12 now and knows what his full name is, but still never uses it. I've never even thought about changing it.

tenthstreet · 11/07/2019 13:28

Teddy is short for Edward too...

bloodywhitecat · 11/07/2019 13:29

I wouldn't change it. At 5 my daughter only responded to her full name but now, as an adult she uses her shortened name. You can call him Teddy now but in years to come his full name will give him the choice of how he wants to be addressed.

Boom25 · 11/07/2019 13:29

Leave it. Theres a big difference between a 5y olfs and a 15y old. He might like being Theo or Theodore as secondary school. Leave the flexibility.

timeforakinderworld · 11/07/2019 13:30

(So we're not going to ask why you gave him two names that are commonly shortened to Teddy?) Leave it as it is - it gives him a choice of names when he's older).

Whoops75 · 11/07/2019 13:31

Leave it, it might not love Teddy as a teen.

Original poster
NorwichDad · 11/07/2019 13:32

ha ha. Edward is a family tradition :)

OP posts:
ShimmerSunset · 11/07/2019 13:33

Don't change it. Teddy is fine when he's young, but he might want a more adult name when he grows up.

Original poster
NorwichDad · 11/07/2019 13:35

Thanks guys. You've all confirmed exactly what we were thinking.

OP posts:
FairyBunnyAgain · 11/07/2019 13:35

Another vote for leave it, my DD has a long name on her birth certificate and was called the shortened name from birth and at school, at 5 she was adamant that was her name and never learnt the long version, same at 10 although then she could at least spell it and knew it was on her passport. At 16 when she went to sixth form she considered changing it but didn’t as that was how her friends knew her. When she went to uni at 18 she changed and now prefers the long name but answers to both especially as that is still what her grandparents and young cousins call her.