Am I being selfish?

[JE87]

My husband really likes a name for our first child (a boy) that I don't like one bit. He said can we use it as a middle name and has basically told me I'm being horrible for not allowing him to have this name as he's always loved it.

I can't stand the name and would be embarrassed to tell people that's my child's name.

Should I let him have it as the middle name despite my feelings towards it?

Also - I have never liked middle names in general, just don't see the point of them so don't really want one at all.

It started almost as a laugh and a joke but it's got to the point where we have argued over it now.

The name is Steele.

I would use it as a middle name.
It's a good compromise as it's his child too

YANBU

Steele isn't even a name. If it was something inoffensive like James or John then I'd just go with it be not Steele.

Assuming it doesn't have any significance (ie. Mother's maiden name) I would just stick to your guns and refuse to use it

I would use it as a middle name on the basis I got to pick the first name. If he doesn't like that option then the only other alternative is to pick a name (or names) you both like and agree on.

DH doesn't have a MN and doesn't want to give our baby one as "you never use them", even though the proposed MN is his DM's I can sort of see where he's coming from, but his mum would like it and it won't do baby any harm or bother having a MN like most of the population.

Steele (as in, Danielle?!) is pretty awful but he obviously feels very strongly about it. Most people will assume it's a family surname. If compromising on it as a middle name takes it off the table as a first name for this baby or others in the future I think it's a decent trade off.

Just to clarify it has no significance and is not a family name.

I think, if you don't even see the point of a middle name then let your DH use it as a middle and you can just ignore that it's there.

Yea I agree with PP. give him the middle name and ignore ignore ignore. YOU get to decide first and surname (if you haven't already taken his)

Let him use it as an (unofficial) middle name. Just don't put it on the birth certificate so your child doesn't have to deal with it later.

That's not a name.

I don't think you're being selfish. My DP loved two names which I utterly utterly loathed. Zander (spelt like that), and Lachlan. We used neither and compromised on a name neither of us hated.

Is your dh Iron Man??

He is a burk!

Omg 😂😂😂 I was all set to be like "If he loves it maybe it can be a MN" but then j read that it's Steele and... No! That's not even a name! Steele? Why? As in the metal? Or a yoooneek spelling for 'steal'? Hahaha. Poor you OP. My DH has come up with some corkers too, it it makes you feel any better.

Yikes I can see where your coming from op maybe ask him to pick another name he likes as a middle name or if you've already decided on a name you could reel it off and say to him it doesn't sound well matched
I picked my DS name my DH picked his middle name and I promised him if we had another child he'd get to pick name and myself the middle name thankfully DD ended up with lovely name although Some of his choices and mine were changed as the other didn't like it so don't be afraid to tell him it's a no if you don't like it and ask him to consider others that your not taking away him choosing a name but just one you both feel happy with

I bet he watched Remington Steele as a youngster

I get that you hate it, but I don’t know why you would be “embarrassed” to use it as a middle name. It’s a well-established surname which for whatever reason means a lot to your DH. Lots of people have meaningful surnames (not necessarily family names) as middle names.

Wtf??? I was expecting something like Rupert, Edgar, Shirley, Boris, Basil or Axel. Steele is not a name!! Pmsl

Steele?! Is that a typo? That’s not a name

My DP wanted an old fashioned name that’s not cool or fashionable in any way, it was after his Grandad. He understood I disliked it so we used it as a middle name instead.

You’re not selfish, Steele isn’t a name anyway.

I think it's reasonable to agree that you don't both have to love the name, but neither of you should hate it.

No-if one person hates the name (and sorry, but who wouldn’t hates that one!) then it’s off the list as far I’m concerned!

If you hate it then I don’t think he’s being fair at all
Selfishness isn’t the way to view it - you’re not choosing a film to watch, your providing a child a lifelong identity label!
That said if you don’t actually want a middle name anyway then I can’t see the harm in using it. Maybe put another one in front of it if you want to make sure it never sees the light of day

Steele. Oh bless him.

Yeah that would be a flat no. It’s pretty bad.

Dying at Steele I thought you were being unreasonable until I read it. Maybe tell him he can pick the first name, it just can't be that!

I wanted to call my kids Emily and Daniel. Dh really doesn’t like them.

They do not have Emily and Daniel as first or middle names. As the names need to be ones that we both at least quite like.

And let’s be honest - Emily and Daniel may not be the most exciting names in the world but they are hardly objectionable. Where as Steele is something that a Kardashian would call their child. (And if you knew me at all you would know that that isn’t a compliment!)

Just flat out tell him no. If you both don’t love the name then don’t go with it.

I'd go with it as a middle name. You will never really have to use it.

Where did he get that from?

Jesus what’s he suggested as an alternate first name, Aluminium?