Too try hard.

[Tillygetsit]

I'm sorry but I've gritted my teeth long enough! I've read 3 posts today where OPs have been told that the names they have chosen are too try hard. What does that mean? Surely we all try hard to find the perfect name. Does it mean pretentious and posters cant spell that?! Sorry to he goady but it's so irritating.

Giving a child a name that the vast majority of people they meet on a day-to-day basis will struggle to spell does strike me as a bit try hard. Just my opinion though.

Niamh and Meadbh are pretty ho-hum in Ireland.

What Niamh? It’s the dullest name never. Spell it Neeve, is it still exotic? 🤣

Yes it is try hard to use a name from a different language that you have no connection to. It’s the very definition of try hard

So thats most of the names in England then.

When I was pregnant with DD I wanted to call her Matilda. DH objected as he thought it was too "middle class."

We were, at the time, living in Primrose Hill and pulling in a 6 figure income between us. Quite why he thought we weren't middle-class...

Surely "try hard" doesn't mean "tries hard and succeeds" but "trying hard to create an impression but missing the mark completely".

Some names come with associations - you can pretend that in most parts of the UK Arabella create exactly the same impression as Billy-Rae but, yes due to classism and snobbery it doesn't.

Try hard would be trying to create a certain expectation around the bearer of the name but missing the mark due to mispronouncing it or adding in a "unique" spelling or excessive number of incongruous middle names or in many but not all cases a hyphen.

However I think some people say try hard when they just mean ridiculous. Trying hard only to be different with no aim except to be as unexpected as possible. No matter who you are, some very flowery overblown names or totally out of context names (say from a very different culture which uses a language with different roots which you have absolutely no link whatsoever to) can be a bit ridiculous.

I think try hard is names posters must know, by any reasonable logic, that the local population will struggle to pronounce/ spell. Prime example is gaelic names in England, particularly when those names are actually really dull and pedestrian in their own country ie Niamh, Grianne etc

Sorry to burst your tiny Ickle Englander bubble, but while you and your ancestors may have spent your entire lives within the same thirty square miles, many of us move about a bit more than that and what the local population of any particular place is and isn't able to spell really can't be a factor in name choice. DS (7), who has an Irish name and surname, was born in London and has lived in two non-English speaking countries since before living in rural England where we are now. Our next move will probably be to Ireland, but where he will finish his education, far less live as an adult isn't clear.

And to be honest, the fact that we move a lot is a red herring. Why wouldn't people give their children names from their culture, regardless of where they live? DS's class has a number of Indian, Polish and west African names, and no one seems overcome by the necessity of spelling them.

In fact, one of his school's teachers has a deeply English but non-phonetic surname Bethune, pronounced Beecham which seems to cause more comment than any foreign names.

That’s funny Richard. I’m not even English 😭 anyway, my point- which you ca read easily for yourself- is it’s about the many English people without Irish heritage who use such names

How do you know they don’t have Irish heritage? Or have a best friend with Irish heritage that they want to name their child after? Or a teacher who was Irish that really inspired them? Or they fell in love with Irish myths and legends as a child and Niamh has been a firm favourite ever since? Why the fuck does some have to have 7 Irish grannies in order to use an Irish name? Do all the Rachel’s in the world have to be at church every Sunday to qualify for using their name?

Oh I love Arabella.

Misses point of thread...

And honestly, we live in a working class area, school is in middle of a "council estate" and I don't think anyone would bat an eye at Arabella, although the local accent might quite ruin its charm

Why is it always Irish names that people are just tripping over themselves to ridicule and tear down on MN? It’s always Irish names that are held up as the example of “unspellable” or “unpronounceable” (and yet so many in England manage to pronounce them when naming their child!) there are a zillion other nationalities and languages existing in England with lots of different rules about pronunciation and spelling. But it’s always the Irish names that take the kicking here. There’s something in that.

One does, Josepheen. And hear, hearMaxBondi.

I'm Irish in Ireland and I find some of the Irish names unpronouncable. You look at some of them and have to have a moment of quiet reflection before you make an attempt at them.

So what, though? Lots of Irish people can't manage any Irish beyond 'An bhfuil cead agam dul amach?' but I don't think anyone needs to consider someone else's inability to pronounce a language they are almost certain to have studied for 13 years at school when naming their offspring.

Niamh? That’s the example that was help up earlier in the thread. Niamh isn’t hard to pronounce even if you’re reading using English phonetics. You’re still going to get pretty close.

There’s loads of languages that I would struggle to pronounce correctly. That doesn’t mean someone giving their name a child from that language is being “try hard”. My inability to pronounce a name shouldnt be a consideration when someone else is naming their child.

I’ve also never met anyone who can’t pronounce “how do you say your name?”. I have met a few who can’t be bothered to say it though.

The anti-Irish derail aside...

I admit to sometimes thinking some names sound ‘try hard’. I’m trying to analyse which names and why I feel that way, and I think it’s when perfectly ordinary people choose names which sound incredibly posh to my ear.

Look at Rees-Mogg’s kids, for example. Sixtus. I mean ffs, if my next door neighbour called her kid Sixtus I would think ‘try hard’.

SleepingStandingUp I don't think Arabella is try hard regardless of where you live unless it's coupled with 5 long flowery middle names.