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Baby names

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Original poster

Help! We can't agree

99 replies

MrsMeSeeks · 14/05/2019 09:19

I don't need name suggestions, I need a methodology.

DH and I don't agree on girl's names, and we have 6 weeks to find one (well, 12 till she'll need to be registered, but I don't want her to arrive nameless - and definitely don't need the pressure of a registration deadline poured on top of this failure of accord!)

We have now been through the ENTIRE list of baby girl names registered in 2017. We have a "shortlist" of about 5 or 6 - but all of these are names that one of us loves and the other thinks is okay. So none feels like a compromise, it's always one person 'winning'. I think I'm struggling to give in because DH keeps pushing for a particular name saying "it's the one we agree on most". It isn't, it's just the one he likes best - we also pronounce it differently, and I'm less keen on his pronunciation and on the nickname he'd want to use. But I can't really expect him to just give in and accept one of 'my' names when I won't accept his.

So how do we find one? Is there a way to select from the shortlist, or do we need to scrap those options and pick something we both like (but neither of us love).

HOW do we do this?! It feels like we're just going to have to name her after the midwife, and end up with a name we both hate equally! It's getting ridiculous...

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redhotchill · 14/05/2019 13:49

Eva?

redhotchill · 14/05/2019 13:50

You can't call her Evelyn and both pronounce it differently. That's not right

Original poster
MrsMeSeeks · 14/05/2019 13:55

redhotchill I know! That's why I'm getting annoyed that he keeps pushing that one as the one "we agree on most". We aren't even saying the same thing!

Nuff I don't think there is a 'right' answer - both are widely used. But if I can convince him to say it my way, then we it becomes a viable option!

OP posts:
diddlediddle · 14/05/2019 14:08

I think Evelyn needs to be taken off the list of you can't agree on pronunciation.

Eve is a name in its own right, why not that if you both like it? Or at least a keep that on the list rather than Evelyn.

redhotchill · 14/05/2019 14:08

What's wrong with some people? He needs putting in a bag and shaking up!

What about Edie?

diddlediddle · 14/05/2019 14:12

What are the other names on the list?

Lllot5 · 14/05/2019 14:15

What’s your fav. Can’t see Evelyn working if you can’t even agree on the pronunciation.

DramaAlpaca · 14/05/2019 14:23

There is another pronunciation of Evelyn - it's EV-lin, just two syllables. It's how it tends to be said in Ireland & it's my preferred way.

And btw, EEV-lin is the traditional male pronunciation, no doubt about it, but has been used for females in recent years.

Original poster
MrsMeSeeks · 14/05/2019 14:27

The rest of the shortlist is: Ingrid and Elodie (I love these), then Anais and Isadora, which to be honest we're both still mulling, but I'd totally agree to if he suddenly decided one was his favourite. He seems to be a bit stuck on Evelyn pronounced the man way though!

OP posts:
diddlediddle · 14/05/2019 14:36

The other names are all lovely. I especially love Anais actually. But anyway. Maybe telling him that Evelyn is completely off the table since you can't agree and focusing on the others will help. Either you'll decide that one of the others is best, or you'll come back to Evelyn and find a way to agree on the pronunciation (cough your way is correct cough)

Shadow1234 · 14/05/2019 14:41

I love the name Evelyn - and I would pronounce it the same as you (Ever-Lyn).

Evie (as suggested up-thread) is lovely as a stand alone name also
Or what about Eden?

jackstini · 14/05/2019 14:43

Some slight alternatives here
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_(name)

BertrandRussell · 14/05/2019 14:47

If you can’t agree on pronounciations don’t go for Anais!

pineapplepatty · 14/05/2019 14:53

Evelyn is very popular around here and people say it both ways. Evie is still very well used too.

Keep looking, till you find one you both go yes! On.

Original poster
MrsMeSeeks · 14/05/2019 15:02

Keep looking, till you find one you both go yes! on.

But where and how?! I've trawled 5000+ names and the result is the five mentioned. I think we're both going to need to come up with ten/twenty/thirty names that would be "acceptable" and see if there is any overlap. At least, of testing out the existing five on practice doesn't make one of us cave.

There have been some helpful suggestions on here for narrowing down/re-selecting - so thanks everyone!

OP posts:
Double0FeckingBollocks · 14/05/2019 15:42

I think you need to ditch anything you cant agree how to pronounce. Then you have to choose one name from his list, and he one from yours. Try them out both ways round and if you still cant agree, toss a coin for which one goes first. It'll make a good story at her wedding!

NuffSaidSam · 14/05/2019 15:58

I agree that Anaïs is the last name you should use if mispronunciation will bother you.

I know three and they all pronounce it differently! No idea if they're all 'right' or just one....

I know 'Ah-niece' 'An-aye-eese' and 'Ah-nay'

BertrandRussell · 14/05/2019 16:05

My current favourite girl’s name is Edith if that’s any help. But be warned- I have a 23 year old Grace- it was a classic but very unusual name back then....

Original poster
MrsMeSeeks · 14/05/2019 16:08

An-aye-eese is correct. Mispronounciation doesn't bother me too much - I don't mind correcting people. The Evelyn issue is more that DH just says it differently - not incorrectly, just an alternative way. So we're not really talking about the same name! It would be weird if we both said it differently.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMeSeeks · 14/05/2019 16:10

Bertrand I like Edith, DH doesn't. Believe me - if it's a name, it's been considered.

OP posts:
userabcname · 14/05/2019 16:14

If he likes Evelyn surely Elodie is a great alternative? Also Isadora is fab! I love Anais too. Sorry, no help here, just loving the names!

junebirthdaygirl · 14/05/2019 17:29

Ingrid is a beautiful name. Haven't heard of one in years.Fight for that...especially in the few mins after childbirth. You are sure to have his agreement!!
All Eve/ Evie/ Ava etc are lovely but far too common now.
Edith is also lovely as is Erica.

BertrandRussell · 14/05/2019 18:12

Clemency. That’s another fab name that I may or may not have been banned from using. Also Constance.

Ohjustboreoff · 14/05/2019 20:35

Dh and I had exactly this same dilemma. I was meh about all his girls name he hated all of mine and don't get me started on boys names! In the end we still couldn't decide so I played the "I've just pushed a human out of my vagina" card and had to have the last say! Otherwise we would have two DC's called boy and girl.

Tillygetsit · 14/05/2019 22:43

How about Everly then he'd have to say it your way 😂

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