Huge arguments over a boys name :(

[Julz58]

Hi everyone. Myself and my partner are finding it really difficult to find a boys name. It got the point the other evening that a full blown argument came out just because we cannot agree. Im in love with the names elliot and heath (after the late great heath ledger-one of my faves forever) but im also in love with the name evan. He wants Joshua, i have nothing against that name but it doesnt grab me like other names. Thing is i give him a whole list of names and try hard to find one, he wants Joshua and wont budge. He wont look for another name or anything. We havent found out the sex of our baby and have the girls name sorted. Do i keep looking or do i compromise on Joshua knowing its not my fave choice out of all the others? Thanks x

People may disagree with me but I wouldn’t budge. You’re making suggestions and he’s just stating one name and insisting on it - not fair!
I think there is a site where you can select names you like independently and it tells you those you have both chosen. I can’t remember the name of it but someone will know!

Op you wait til the throes of labour are barely over. Dh holds the pfb and agrees to whatever you suggest.
Ime .

Tell him the mother always gets the final say on the name.

Thankyou for your replies!! Hes so stubborn as a person in general so cant say im surprised. He says i named the first one so let him name this one (lies, we both agreed on her nane together lol). Im going to keep strong and try and find a name we both love!!! X

Register the birth alone. Use your surname and your choice of name(s).

@MikeUniformMike why did she make the baby alone???

@Julz58 tell him NO to Joshua so start giving some more suggestions, then hope its a girl 😂 Joshua would be Josh anyway!! But seriously don't push a baby out your hoo haa and not have a name you like at the end of it!

Ive told him i dont want to be pushing and going through all the pain for a beautiful baby who doesnt have my idea of a best name. Dont get ne wrong josh is a nice name, just i wouldn't have chosen it thats all. I couldnt register the baby alone, i think thats a bit over the top! Thanks everyone for your input. Im going to make him read the replies! Hopefully he'll understand my views x

You should both agree on the name. If you don’t like Joshua then it’s off the list and you need to tell him as much! Maybe getting him a baby names book and ask him to pick all the names he like that aren’t Joshua? If he refuses to engage then given you’re not married and you have a legal obligation to register the baby then you’ll have not choice but to go on your own and pick whatever name your prefer without his input! But no, don’t compromise on a name you don’t love just because he’s being stubborn.

I think the site is called named together?

Show him that Friends episode when Rachel is dating Joshwaaaah. That'll fix it.

Be interesting if his perception of naming dc1 is the same as yours.
You say He says i named the first one so let him name this one (lies, we both agreed on her nane together lol)., but clearly that is what he remembers - maybe he just gave in without much protest then ?

Maybe I'm just on your dh's side as he has chosen a much, much nicer name than any of your suggestions ?

Of course both parents should agree on and love the name! Is the baby going to have his surname? If so, then he already has had a large share in naming the child.

See, I hear Joshua and can’t get past Josh Duggar and his 18 siblings, some of whom he molested as a teenager.
I would veto Josh and ask for other suggestions.

All this hate for the name Joshua .
I understand your position op. Any chance of it as a middle name?
No, I don't have a Joshua. Or even a son.

Me too, Weenurse

And it is incredibly dated. It's the equivalent of Sharon.

However, OP, I think you need to drop Elliot and Heath as a good faith gesture, and then work out a shortlist together. The list will not include Elliot, Heath or Joshua.

If one of you says no, the name should be off the list. Persuade him of this by agreeing to take yours off the list that he doesn't like. If he won't agree to this, you keep the list and just do it. Ask him about any new name you put on it. If he never says yes to any you'll have to resort to using the fact that you've just given birth to manipulate him but really that's not ideal in my view. This approach led to my favourite name being crossed straight off our list but there were no rows and we eventually found a couple of names we both like.

Yes @MikeUniformMike due to not agreeing a name he should lose his parental rights
Load of old shit
Anyway sounds like you'll have to keep looking op. Stand firm on waiting for a name you both love.

Sorry I'm assuming not married for some reason so yes his rights would be gone if baby registered just by it's mother. If op is married then not the same

He can veto your three names and you can veto his, and both of you come up with a fair number more.

Took us 38 weeks to find a compromise boys name so don't lose hope

Tell him you used to date someone called Joshua that will put him off.

Who's surname will the baby have? If you can't disagree then I reckon whoever gets surname has to vote to the other person for first name

*if you can't AGREE

No matter how much one of you would like a name, if the other dislikes it that’s it IMO.

If OP and her DP aren’t married OP would be wise to use her own surname, disagree that this would mean her DP should choose the first name.