Should I lobby harder for my name choice?

[rosti]

I've had a girl's name for nearly twenty years now that I absolutely love and wanted to use for a daughter, but my husband doesn't love it. He doesn't hate it either, he's just unenthused. Fair enough, I thought, we need to compromise. We've picked out an alternative name and it's pretty and fine, but I don't love it. It's just fine.

I really like this other name, and I can't save it for a potential second daughter as it has the same first initial as the new name we've picked out. I know some families quite happily give their kids names with the same first letter, but my mum, her brother and her mum all have the same first initial and it was a nightmare with post, so we would rather not do that.

So that means I have to let this name go. I'm not just clinging to it because it's been so long; I genuinely love the name. I was actually kind of sad when I found out we were having a girl as I knew my husband probably wouldn't let me use the name. My parents have also pointed out multiple times (not in relation to this - they don't know about it) that I tend to defer to my husband and let him make decisions, even if it means missing out on what I want.

I cried today because I heard someone on the radio with the name I love (please note I'm subject to pregnancy hormones and having a stressful time in other areas of my life right now though lol)

Should I lobby harder for this name? Will I regret it if I don't, do you think? Any experience of this? In a way, I kind of feel I should be 'allowed' to have first choice given the hell I've been through in this pregnancy and the fact that I have to go through labour, but I don't think attempting to play that card will help, it's just emotionally manipulative.

Sorry that was meant to say just hate it because it's common

Anyway definitely push harder for your name. Or rather push harder for a name you both LOVE. Please don't let him talk you into settling for a name you just like. Sounds like he gets his way a lot by one of your previous comments.

I really like Erika/Erika - everyone has heard of it, there is no confusion with pronunciation and it has no negative connotations that I can think of

Emily is massively overused, it is probably the girls name that I have come across the most in the past 18 years. Equivalent to Sarah in the 70s/80s

I think you should push for Erika... or possibly Erica if that sits better with him.

You love Erica but he is a bit meh about it.... hes chosen Emily which he doesnt really love as much as you love Erica, and you are meh about it..
Therefore in my book you should go with Erica!! Why does he get to win? And why does he even want to?

My husband gave his opinions on names for our kids, came up with his own favoured names. He got to veto ones I picked which he really hated.. but in the end I knew it was my final say which ones we went with. After all I'm giving birth to them and putting my body and my life on the line... least he can do is let us name them something I love!! Even if it's not his absolute favourite!
Call me a diva or whatever, that's how it is though!!
Why should your preference take back seat when you are going to be doing all the hard work to bring that baby out into the world!!

You might find that once your baby is here your partner would be happy if you called her Garry.

You will get your push name.

Personally I don't like either of your choices, but more importantly I feel strongly you shouldn't choose a name that's such a compromise for one of you. Find another name.

How about choosing a Suffragette name. I always think of Erica as a 'strong' name, so name your new DD after a strong woman, although of course, Emily is on this list.
www.telegraph.co.uk/film/suffragette/famous_suffragettes/

How about Leonora, Evelina, Constance, Emmaline, Marion or Lydia. She may be the only one in her year group but those names aren't far out there.

Erika 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

There is no right or wrong answer re common vs unheard of.

I have an uncommon name and I loathe it! Much rather have a bog standard name whereas some people like having it the other way round.

I am not keen on either.

What about Erin?

Love Erika - it is also my DDs middle name!

Oh my god I have so many feelings for you. Erika is absolutely gorgeous and strong and interesting and your husbands reasoning is mild and bland and this is something you LOVE.

The kid is going to have his last name. He’s mainly been on the benches for this - you’ve given over 40 weeks of your life to growing the kid and will either push it out of you in one of the most painful experiences known to human kind or will have serious surgery to bring them into the world.

I so desperately want for you to have this.

Just to add to my very emotive post: I totally think you should die on the Erika/Erica hill.

Erika is just beautiful.

I don’t like either personally - could you find a third that you both like?

The baby will already have his surname.

Insist on Erika, especially as he doesn't hate it.

Or say you're going back to your surname and baby will be double-barrel.

I agree with Fridasrage

I absolutely had my heart set on a girl’s name when I was pregnant for the first time. My husband wasn’t so sure... but it honestly would have broken my heart not to be able to use it.

I know people on MN say it has to be a name that you both agree on and both love... but I don’t think that’s always possible.

Anyway, I lobbied and won my husband over, and the baby was a girl, and I’m so glad I was able to give her a strong, interesting name.

You really don’t need to capitulate to your husband’s boring choice (and weird justification for wanting such a common name in the first place).

Push!
If baby has his surname, then you should get final say.

Your DH must be the most middle of the road man in existence if he thinks Erica is an out there name op!

I’d tell him you’re calling her Erica/Erika and that’s that. He’s not the one carrying her for nine months and pushing her out of his nethers.

Emily is so dull and insipid. Erica is a much much better choice

Just saw that the baby will have his surname! In which case you definitely want your choice of first name.

Is he normally this insistent on having everything his way op?

I think you should both have an equal say really, I'd be annoyed if my husband had insisted on a name I wasn't keen on. Also, it's a pretty name when spelt Erica, I really don't like the Erika spelling, but that's just my personal opinion.