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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Name nicking

30 replies

MrsMoa · 20/11/2018 20:47

Im going to put the question out there straight away. What is the opinion of family members taking the name you "had"?

When we were expecting we had our names chosen for a boy and names for a girl. We had a boy. My brother is now expecting a girl and they are taking the name we had chosen. We are also TTC so we are not exactly "done" having children and naturally we kept the name we had for a girl should we have one. I feel really gutted about it as that name really meant something to us. Am I overreacting or is it ok to take a name that someone close to you also "had"?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PurpleDaisies · 20/11/2018 20:49

You don’t own the name. He had every right to use it.

ApocalypseNowt · 20/11/2018 20:51

Dunno, I don't think they've been awful. You can't "reserve" a name just in case you have a girl one day.

RedDwarves · 20/11/2018 20:55

I don't see an issue. You had a baby, and it was a boy. Your chosen girl name was a free for all.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 20/11/2018 20:58

I’d be cross too.

The moral of the story is, don’t discuss names with anyone.

stellarfox · 20/11/2018 20:59

The thing is even if you have more children they could all be boys! Did you tell your brother your favourite girl name before? If so I think I’d be a little bit annoyed, but if they really happen to love it too you don’t own it so I think it’s first come first serve really! Although I understand why you might be feeling a bit miffed too. Also it depends on the name as if it’s something popular like Olivia you shouldn’t be annoyed but if you had your heart set on something quite obscure that they might not have been aware of aside from you telling them about it, I’d understand being more annoyed

Cosmoa · 20/11/2018 21:07

I'd be furious but that's because all the names we like are lovely names but unheard of.. And I spent a lot of time finding them! I'd have to say something, I probably would just come out with "woah that was our name, what are you thinking?" 😂

Wolfiefan · 20/11/2018 21:09

Another reason not to announce any names until the baby has arrived.

NerrSnerr · 20/11/2018 21:13

How do they even know what you chose as a girl's name?

They haven't stolen a name. You can still use it. I have the same name as my cousin, my brother does too. No one is confused.

AnotherOriginalUsername · 20/11/2018 21:17

A sibling used the name they knew full well that we had chosen for our baby (theirs was born about 4 months before). We haven't changed our name because of this and they were told that we absolutely wouldn't be doing so prior to registering their birth.

ApolloandDaphne · 20/11/2018 21:24

Names are just names and are free for anyone to use. You can't have dibs on a name just in case one day you might have a girl.

MadeForThis · 20/11/2018 21:27

My cousins - brother and sister both used the same name for their DD's. Only about 6 years apart in age and live close to each other.

No one cares. They are totally different people/personalities.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 20/11/2018 21:36

Unlucky but you don't own a name. They
have done nothing wrong and can call their baby whatever they like!

Original poster

MrsMoa · 20/11/2018 21:36

Yeah they knew which name we had chosen for a girl and its certainly not a common name hence my surprise and feeling pretty gutted. I know no one has exclusivity on names and neither do they I guess, so we may simply end up with two of the same if there ever is a girl!

OP posts:

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 20/11/2018 21:39

Yes, I think that's fair enough! Warn them and you never know, it might put them off....

stellarfox · 20/11/2018 21:51

Yeah I would warn them too and just say you would definitely use it if you have a girl one day! May put them off

Kissel · 20/11/2018 22:00

My mum lifted my first and middle name verbatim from a friend at work and 27 years later can’t understand why her friend wasn’t best pleased!

LadyPamplemousse · 20/11/2018 22:08

Honestly, I'd probably be a bit peeved and mutter to myself about them not having imagination. But then I'd just shrug my shoulders and get over it and think of a different name for my hypothetical future daughter.

If they'd copied the name of my actual real child my levels of peevishness would be significantly higher.

Cbeebiesrehab · 20/11/2018 22:35

Make it clear you’d still use it as you have wanted to for so long. They may then get the message and change their minds, if not then they can’t be annoyed if you do use it in the future!

ZebraKid71 · 20/11/2018 23:05

I'd be annoyed, but as youre not even pregnant and may never have a daughter i don't really think they've done anything wrong? What is the name? If it's the name of someone close to you and not them you could maybe raise it with them. I also think popularity is an important consideration.

ZebraKid71 · 20/11/2018 23:08

As a side note... My friend told us all her name for her baby if it was a girl when she was about 4 months pregnant. Her sister who was about 2 months ahead of her then said how lovely and unusual it was and how she was going to use it. My friend was furious and named her new cat the name and posted it all over Facebook so the sister didn't use it in the end as it was seen as the cats name. When my friends dd was born my friend used the name she loved and said she had posted the cat to gage opinion haha.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 20/11/2018 23:11

There are millions of names to choose from, there must be One you can choose. I actually know of an One pronunciation ON EE (girl)

Ipanema01 · 26/11/2018 17:17

I completely understand how you feel and Id definitely say something. The same has recently happened to me. I was pregnant earlier this year and would’ve had the same due date as my very close family member. I’ve always had a certain girls name and I told her the name when pregnant with my son 2 years ago, and again when I found out I was pregnant again. It’s an unusual name and not her type of choice. She said this time she liked this name and it was on her list. I sadly had a miscarriage and she is about to her a baby girl. She’s now announced the baby’s name (not the one I had chosen) and it’s completely different but she’s made three comments that I can ‘have’ my name as her OH hates it
I’m pregnant again. She doesn’t know I’m insane enough to have still used it regardless
I just wish people would be more original!
ZebraKid71 This has made my night!

starandson · 27/11/2018 13:57

It is annoying but there’s nothing you can do. I stupidly told my brother in law what OH and I would have named a girl in future and now we have a niece with that name! I keep name ideas to myself now.

Princesspeachy0 · 27/11/2018 14:57

Maybe they forgot that was the name you had picked out?

If not, I would also be annoyed! I wouldn't a me you for using it regardless.

Justmuddlingalong · 27/11/2018 15:11

You bagsied a name but didn't use it as you had a DS. Your DB has bagsied it for his stbb DD. But your bagsie still stands even though you're not pregnant yet, or guaranteed a DD? Get a bloody grip.

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