Name nicking

[MrsMoa]

Im going to put the question out there straight away. What is the opinion of family members taking the name you "had"?

When we were expecting we had our names chosen for a boy and names for a girl. We had a boy. My brother is now expecting a girl and they are taking the name we had chosen. We are also TTC so we are not exactly "done" having children and naturally we kept the name we had for a girl should we have one. I feel really gutted about it as that name really meant something to us. Am I overreacting or is it ok to take a name that someone close to you also "had"?

I think it has to be 'first come first served' basis when it comes to names in the family. Some in our family had very much the same taste in names - in fact the same boy and girl names were favourites of 2 couples. One couple ended up using both of them. The other couple were very disappointed, but agreed it was the only policy that works and came up with other names they love. And, bonus, they love the names of their niece and nephew. Good grace and generosity have prevailed

I also think it's a good idea to not discuss your names in your family. If they end up being used by someone else, too bad, but you can't claim a name. I don't think it's fair to do so as someone else might love it as much as you do and might have wanted to use it for years too. And they may have a child of that sex and you may not.

Super frustrating. I would be upset if my brother chose to name his daughter one of the two names we've chosen, one in particular I'd be annoyed with, however it wouldn't change anything honestly. Two cousins with the same name is hardly an issue. A lot of families have two Michaels or Johns etc.

If you're going to have a girl name her whatever you want. So what if their cousin has the same name. It won't kill them

Way back when BIL used a name I'd always wanted for a ds should I have one. We'd never discussed it but even so it really felt like a case of 'of all the names in all the world...'

I used it for ds2's middle name but I'm still (entirely unreasonably) a bit bitter so I can understand your frustration, OP.

Object lesson in never letting on until baby is born I'm afraid.

We didn’t tell anyone the 2 names we had lined up for DC1, when DD was born we obviously shared the girls name. When asked what she would’ve been if she was a boy we just laughed and said you’ll find out if the next one is a boy.

We may not still like the boys name if we ever have one, but we wanted the option to be there. In all honesty I think we will have had DC2 by the time any of our siblings get around to having kids, so it shouldn’t be an issue really. I know DB and SIL name choices and they are not to my taste 😊