Choosing a name your family will hate

[17caterpillars1mouse]

Would you choose a name for your baby if your pretty sure nobody in your family will lile it?

I like Rufus if I have another - my family would HATE it!

They hate my first son’s name but they’ve shut up about it now that he’s a toddler. It’s a real name with a long history but they think only common names are acceptable.

Rufus is lovely, sod them all.
I named our DD something our families didn't like. My mum outrightly said that she hated it (before we started trying). Dhs dad said something along the lines of "as long as it doesn't have a toff name like maximillian" yes, she does have a "toff" name. And dhs mum screamed at him.
Sod them all, name is lovely and they'll hate number 2s name too probably 🤷

Rufus is fine. It's very popular.

My mum made me change DDs name from the one I originally wanted. The one she wanted was horrible so we reached an uneasy compromise

I liked the idea of calling DS after my maternal grandfather who was William. Fairly uncontroversial except when DS was due around 12 July and I was imagining DHs nationalist family living on the NI border having to celebrate “Billy” on the 12th

I called him after my paternal grandfather instead.

I am not crazy about DGD's name, but since she is not my child, naming her was nothing to do with me. I have done my child naming and any other naming I am likely to be responsible for are pet names and I don't give a fuck if anyone doesn't like what I choose. My pet - my choice. Your child, your choice. DM wanted me to switch around DD2's names and call her by her middle name. I didn't want to and so I didnt. Stick to your guns, but be sure that you don't allow anyone to call him something else, just because they feel aggrieved that you didn't do what they wanted. I had one silly cow (not a relative) who told me I spelt DD1's name wrongly. I told her that it was nothing to do with her. When she tried the same thing with DD2, I pointed out that just because she didn't know that spelling, it didn't make the spelling wrong.

Rufus is a perfectly good name. Go for it.

Rufus is great, although be careful around arrows. It does mean red, or red-haired. If it's not a hatred of a Rufus who done your family down then just go for it.

Rufus is a fabulous name!

I don’t think o thought of my family once when I chose a name, I just chose my favourite name.
As far as I know they all like it.

We have used two names that "raised eyebrows" on my side (all the kids on my side have top 20 names ) I didn't give two fucks.... loved the names and still do.

I LOVE the name Rufus!

I did, this is why we didn't tell anyone the name before she was born. MIL in particular went on about it for quite a while but finally seems to have given up. She is though currently petitioning her favourite names for dc2 (none of which we will use as they are as dull as dishwater).

BTW Rufus isn't in the slightest bit 'very popular' . It is rising but it was 250th most popular name in 2017 with 214 born. For context there were over 6000 Olivers born.

Rufus rocks ! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Absolutely, and we did. I knew they'd hate it so didn't tell them until DC was born. Absolutely didn't bother me in the slightest.

If everyone in my family hated a name it would certainly give me pause and make me think 'so, will my baby, when they're old enough, also hate this name?'.

Names like Cecil and Cyril are just cruel. A name like Rufus I can imagine seeming a bit 'highfalutin' to the older generations but is pretty normal by today's standards. For some people it will always be a dog's name but just play Rufus Wainwright at every family event and they'll soon come to terms with it.

Your baby, your choice. But I maybe wouldn't tell them until after he's born, just to save the pointless arguments.

We announced ours (very uncommon - doesn't even make the name lists) to MIL on the phone after the birth. Had to repeat it, spell it and explain it 😂 But she totally accepted it and now everyone says how it suits him and he couldn't be anything else.

I would use it.. Rufus is lovely.

If there was a really, really good reason not to like it (e.g. we thought of an old family name from DH's side but in some cultures it has really poor associations with a very prejudiced story and my DM is from one of those cultures so I though she'd probably be thinking of that story every time she heard that name), I would rethink. So suppose it was the name of one of the ugly stepsisters in Cinderella in her culture or it was Ebeneezer like Scrooge, but it didn't mean much in Britain.

If it's just a taste issue, go for it.

I was considering Oscar and the reaction from my dm was unbelievable. At the time it wasn't very popular. It now is - there are 2 or more for each of my 4 dc year group. As it happens we didn't use it as my baby was a girl. But relatives reactions often come from thinking that a name is old fashioned or not in use, when actually younger parents have more of an idea about the up and coming names.

We had objectionable mothers who really didn't like our choice of name. My DM didn't like my DD name. In fact her reaction was a simple "yuck don't do it". DMIL told us we could not give DS his name because it was a name of a relative my DFIL didn't like? When we carried on regardless, she blamed me for choosing it. That name was one both DH & I had both loved for years.

My DC are adults & there's not been one bad comment on either name for many many years. So YES I would pick a name my family didn't like.

As long as it didn't cause harm or genuine upset (eg. Reminded them of something or someone awful) then I'd go with it.

I have an unusual (old testament) name and when my mom told my grandmother her response was "what kind of ridiculous name is that? How will I ever remember how to spell or pronounce it? It's awful." goes to say my mom didn't care and my grandmother got over it.

the thing whatever you name your kids, someone in the family will shit on it anyway

I an honestly say that what either of our families would think of DS’s name never occurred to me. But given that my parents specifically chose all four of our names so that we would in no way be remarkable — the result was that I was one of six girls with the same name, three with the same surname initial also, all the way through primary, and my younger siblings had similar, and it was mightily depressing — and my ILs feel that all children should be named after their parents, I wouldn’t have taken any notice, anyway. We told them after he was born. I’m sure they hated his name, which is unusual, but I didn’t invite opinions.

Go for it op, I have a 6yo Rufus and he loves his name. I knew there would be one or two raised eyebrows in my family but I think they all like it now, or are too polite to comment!

It’s not that unusual either, I think there are three boys called Rufus at our village primary school.