Dear lord what to do

[evelynnadeau]

Hello all,
I'm an English girl (born and raised in Sheffield), and my husband is French, from Bordeaux. So far, we've spent about an equal amount of time between the two countries, and we're expecting a baby boy in November. My husband and I both agreed on something French, but I thought the name would be something easy to translate, like Pierre (Peter) or Antoine (Anthony). My husband wants to do the full-on hyphenated first names, like Jean-Pierre, Jean-Paul, etc. He suggested "Jean-Fèlix", which I'm okay with, but it's going to be too difficult for my VERY BRITISH family to pronounce. I've told him that but he's not budging. Jean-Fèlix, while I like the name, is going to be a mouthful for the baby's English side. Ah the French, so stubborn. Any advice?! Thanks!!!

Could the English version just be the initials?

Or pronounce the initials as Jeff?

Can the English side call him Felix?

Whys he being so stubborn, is his name got nothing to do with you

I don't think it's a difficult name at all. Which part do you think they'll have trouble with?

He doesn’t get to choose. As far as I’m concerned if you don’t like it doesn’t happen. So tell him no! You both have to agree which usually involves compromise. I don’t think names like pierre or Antoine need ‘translating’ though, surely they are easy enough for English speakers? I like the suggestion of J-P for Jean-Pierre though.

Your family will most likely just learn it after hearing and get on but if you are going to be bringing him up, schooling etc in Britain I'd probably opt for something easier all round otherwise he will be forever correcting people which gets tiresome.

I say that as someone with an easy name with a slightly unusual spelling.

Why is it going to be so difficult? They have plenty of time to practice! And it's much easier than many of the, for example, Irish names that lots of English people use.

I get you OP. My family took years to learn how to pronounce DHs name, wouldn't want to inflict that on future children.

Fortunately though my DH isn't fond of many french names, and his army of cousins have all the good ones which he doesn't want to use.

I think you just have to say no until you agree on one (she suggests as though it's so easy...)

Come on! Your English family will pronounce it John Felix which is very different to Jean-Félix. You can't do that to the kid or to his relatives! It's very important that you pick a name that is easy to pronounce in English, it's only fair

I nearly called my son Arnaud
I thought it would fit in with all the Brunos, Milos and Hugos.

Actually what about Victor or Hugo!
I think English speakers are going to smirk at Jean-Felix. Felix works in both countries though?

I like JP too but there are a lot of men coming up to forty named JP, after the Pope! as he was at that time.

''Why is it going to be so difficult? They have plenty of time to practice! And it's much easier than many of the, for example, Irish names that lots of English people use.''

@bertrandrussell, well that aint true. You're usually so logical. I need to tell you that you're not being at logical here.

So, you're told once how to say an irish name and off you go. Whatever it is. Domhnaill, Diarmuid, Fiadh, Siun, Fraoch. Believe me, there are no sounds there that are going to cause you to have to manipulate your mouth/tongue in to foreign positions. There's no difficult changing of gear in the back of the throat. No sounds in Irish that English speakers cannot make. I think you're confusing Irish with Danish! Irish is also phonetic. French has so so so so many different letter combinations that just make the 'ay' sound.

He doesn’t get to choose. As far as I’m concerned if you don’t like it doesn’t happen. So tell him no! You both have to agree which usually involves compromise

This. It’s not that the French are stubborn it’s that your DH is being a bit of an arse.

He’s not budging eh? Who’s risking their health to plop the baby out?

It would be easier to have a name that’s (almost) the same in both countries - Sebastian, Benjamin, Michael, Thomas, Vincent, Roman...

My ds has a name from his dad's country. My stipulation was that it would be phonetically spelt (for English eyes) and easy to say. It's not a lot to ask.

Why not go for something interchangeable that can be pronounced with both a accents? Arthur us the only one I can think of just now, or maybe an Alexander/ Alexandre type situation? Sorry, that's not very helpful! I chose both of ours and like PP, felt I had the monopoly because I bore the physical brunt. Also, DS was named many years before I got DH and he knew it was non negotiable when he married me!

How about just Felix? Hyphenated names are a bit 😶 in the U.K. these days

Could you maybe settle on a first name that works in both countries and then a very French middle name?

Felix Jean-Pierre
Felix Jean-Paul

Would Felix be pronounced Fay-LEEKS in French?

He doesn’t get to choose. As far as I’m concerned if you don’t like it doesn’t happen. So tell him no! You both have to agree which usually involves compromise

This. One person doesn't get to say "it's this and that's final". Anyone who seriously thinks they are allowed to do that is definitely a massive prick.

Felix would work, but how about Charles. Nice in both languages. Same spelling.
Jean does not work in the UK and as flumpybear said, Hyphenated names are a bit 😶 in the U.K. these days.

I think it's fine to be known as slightly different versions in different countries. I know a Gianpaulo who is John Paul or JP to his English family, for instance. So he could be John or even Felix in England, but Jean-Felix in France.

I know an anglophone (but also French-speaking) couple living in France who have called their kid Julien. And sons of French parents in the UK called Sebastien, Nicolas, Charles, Rene, and Guillaume (Guy) - the names are pronounced slightly differently depending on what language is being spoken, but they're understandable in both. You KNOW that's a more practical option. There are so many names that work in either language, or failing that are easily pronounced in both (Etienne is nice, for my money, or Claude or Emile)

If your partner's insistent on a double-barrelled French name like Jean-Felix, I think you just have to compromise with him being only one half of it when he's with your family. He's half-English after all; it matters that he can fit in here as well as in France.

I must apologise for my total lack of acutes/graves in this post. I can't do them on my keyboard.

Firstly I don't think it's a very difficult name and secondly why can't they just do their best with the pronunciation or use a pet name if they prefer?

Plenty of John-Paul’s locally - large English city area with Irish catholic minority ethnic ! fine non challenging name. Jean-Marie maybe a bit more tricky to carry off as maybe seen as a “ girls “ name. But the Welsh, male ceri I know doesn’t have an issue.