Dear lord what to do

[evelynnadeau]

Hello all,
I'm an English girl (born and raised in Sheffield), and my husband is French, from Bordeaux. So far, we've spent about an equal amount of time between the two countries, and we're expecting a baby boy in November. My husband and I both agreed on something French, but I thought the name would be something easy to translate, like Pierre (Peter) or Antoine (Anthony). My husband wants to do the full-on hyphenated first names, like Jean-Pierre, Jean-Paul, etc. He suggested "Jean-Fèlix", which I'm okay with, but it's going to be too difficult for my VERY BRITISH family to pronounce. I've told him that but he's not budging. Jean-Fèlix, while I like the name, is going to be a mouthful for the baby's English side. Ah the French, so stubborn. Any advice?! Thanks!!!

He's being a bit of an arse. Hyphenated names are considered a bit ... Sorry to say it but "chavvy" in the UK so he shouldn't force something on you that doesn't really work in you country. Also "Félix" is pronounced similar to "fay-lix" right? To be honest I'd feel like a bit of a tit calling out "Jean-Félix!" In a faux French accent in the park or something. People wouldn't immediately assume you had a French hubby and might be a bit . Can't you just call him Felix with a middle name of Jean or vice versa? Also as PP said "Jean" in the UK is a retro woman's name and having to call him "J.F" or "Jeff" would just be a shame.

I don’t get the hard to pronounce bit?

Adds Jean-Felix to baby name list...

People will assume it’s a bit chavvy in Britain as hyphenated names are sometimes seen that way.

Plus why on earth does he get the final say?! Stand up fur yourself woman! He’s being an arse

Jean-Felix is nice, your parents could just call him Jean, or John which is the English version but quite honestly Jean-Felix is not difficult to pronounce.

I don’t get why Jean-Felix would be difficult, hyphenated they’d know it’s a boy and not say Jean. Doing my family tree, most of the Jean Baptist’s are on the census as JB.
I needed a French/English name and went with Patrick.

If this child is going to either live in England or spend large amounts of time here, it makes sense for him to have a name that works easily in both countries. As others have said, hyphenated names tend to come across as either twee or uneducated in the UK and there are plenty of names like Sebastien or Charles which fit both languages.

Is your husband going through a bit of a "thing" of worrying that his son is not going to develop a properly French identity and trying to push the FRENCH thing as hard as possible?

The biggest problem here is that your husband is stubborn and insisting. You agreed on a French name, not (I presume) that he would get to choose. If you don't want it that's a good enough reason not to use it.

I don't think it's that difficult, but it is a bit unwieldy in English. It's obviously French so personally I don't think it looks naff in the way English hyphenated names do. But, in the Uk we have a tendency to shorten names so he's likely to be known as just Jean/John. JF doesn't roll off the tongue like JP or JB. Felix would mostly be pronounced the English way too. Could you get a friend to read out a list of names including this one so he understands how they'll be pronounced day to day?

I don't think names have to be translatable (there are some gorgeous French names that aren't but which are perfectly usable) but they do need to work in the country you live in.

Agree with pp he doesn't get to just pick a name and forge ahead whether you like it or not. Dig your heels in and discuss names again until you find something that you both like.

My pal is Jean-Paul. Everyone under the sun calls him JP.

No, no, no.

I am English and my husband is French. We are both fluent in the each other’s language. When choosing a name for DS we both wrote a list and then vetoed lots of names from each other’s lists as we felt they didn’t really work in our own language. There are very few names that work equally well in both languages (Noah is one but it’s very popular atm) but the most important thing is that you both like the name and agree on it.

Double-barrelled first names are actually pretty dated and unfashionable in France now. They’re much more common for our parents’ generation ie baby’s grandparents.

Don’t let your husband bully you into using a name you don’t want or like.

Did you change your surname to his when you married him? If so baby will already have a French surname. Ideally you would give baby a bilingual first name but if it has to be more of one than the other I would say it should be more English to balance out the French surname. The middle name should also be from your side IMO since baby will have DH’s family surname.

I don't think parents who actually live in France are calling their dc Jean-anything atm, are they? Isn't it pretty much the equivalent of Nigel/Bernard/Dave here?

Exactly

Your husband doesn't Just get to decide on your son’s name.

He sounds like an arse. Will the baby also get his surname? Which part of your heritage will be recognised in your son’s name?

You need to write lists and compare them, and also consider where the child will be raised. Tbh Jean-felix is not going to be a popular choice in the UK or France!

What names do you like OP?

Yes namechange and elderly! I showed DH this thread and he said that all Jean-Pierres etc were at least mid-40s and not popular/considered particularly nice names for a baby at all. I remembered him saying that last time we were name searching so was surprised to see a Frenchman so insistent on using them.

French/English family here too so I get it but you DH is being a stubborn arse, you need to find a name you both like and one that works in both languages. Jean-Felix is, in my opinion a bizarre mix of old man French with current trendy English that just doesn’t work. My advice would be to get hold of a copy of the L’Officiel des Prenoms (the French list of popular baby names) and go through it and pick out some names you like that would work in English and then present them to DH for his thoughts. But off the top of my head, all of the following are top 20-ish names in France that would also work in English:
Gabriel
Raphael
Louis
Arthur
Alexandre
Oscar
Leo
Hugo
Sebastian
Nathan
Lucas
Ethan