Namesake Nightmare

[jillianoconner]

Hello all,
My husband's Irish (born and raised in County Clare, but we now live in my home city of London), and his best mate as a secondary schooler back in the early 1990s was named Darren. He promised Darren he'd name our soon to be born son after him (I agreed because he let me name our daughter after my grandmother), and I'm at a loss. Darren really is the kindest man but I haven't heard that name except around my mum's friends who were all teens in the 1960s. Please HELP!
Do I go ahead with "Darren", or choose a more fitting, modern name? HELP PLEASE!!!!

Baby Darren....yeh sorry i dont like. Perhaps change the name but then explain to grown "Darren" that the baby didnt look like a "Darren" (tbh it wont be a lie, dont think many babies look like Darren)

Darren as a middle name?
Or give his friend Darren a shortlist of your favourite names to choose from?
Or ask Darren to be a Godfather instead?

Middle name Arron? Close enough???!!

If you're not keen, what about Darryl or Darragh? Nod to Darren but maybe something you prefer? Good luck.

Middle name? I do think Darren has dated terribly. Darren has something to do with "oak", I think. Could you have another oak name - Aiken, Ackley, Oakley, etc...? Or could you pick the initial letters and use something like Darcus, Darius, etc?

I think Darren is fine.

No one will call him "baby Darren", he would just be Darren. A person, not a baby.

Darren is fine. I don't think you have much choice anyway given your agreement.

Middle name.

Darren died a death at the end of the 80s.

Out of interest when did he make the promise? Does Darren still remember?

Bollocks. So what if you made a "deal." This is about naming your child, not a dog. You have changed your mind and you have the right to do that.

Sorry but nah, he agreed that without your consent ?! Tell Darren sorry but no! Don't use a name if you don't love it OP, you'll regret it ! I agree with previous, use it as a middle name or let Darren do something special like pick the name from your favs list or be godfather !

I think it is a nice name but it was very popular in the 1960s. Names are popular for a reason. It will be a refreshing change from all the Harrys, Ezras, Noahs and Sebastians in his age group.
If you don't like it use it as a mn.

Dara (or Daragh or Daire) any good? It's a lovely name (Like it even more on a girl actually)

I think he needs to explain to his mate that he wasn't in a position to make that promise without checking with you.

You could give it as a middle name if you want.

Darren for Godfather - you cant name a baby Darren !

I don't actually hate it but I do think you should love the name as it's your baby. So yes, think of some alternatives.

It’s fine to use it now.
I’m hearing a few names like that around. I know an 8 year old Ian, a four year old Brian and a 9 year old Jonathan.
They’re names people know and can spell, but not too common that there’ll be loads in their school.

Daniel Arran - D. Arran - Darren

Or whatever first name beginning with D that you like.

Alternatively find another way to honour the friend - if he’s such a great guy he will understand that you might live him but not his name

Darren is dated but I can see it the appeal that it had. It’s not a bad name.

I agree it's not a bad name and you did promise your DH he could use the name for your your son. This is between you and the baby's father. If you talk to him about your misgivings maybe he'll compromise. If not, I think you should honor your promise.

Darren as a middle name. Easy compromise.

Middle name at best. Even that is bad.

Anyway, why would someone name their child after a still-alive best friend? I had to avoid a couple of nice names just because I have close friends with the names and that would be weird.

In my part of the world it’s a 70’s/80’s name. Choice nicknames include: Daz, Dazzler and Dazza.

Sorry, I know that just makes it worse.

Call Darren Snr yourself and be honest with him? For all you know he might not like his own name, and be a bit horrified at your DH’s plan?

When did he make this promise? If it was before he met you I don’t see why you should agree. If it was back in the 90s then Darren can’t possibly expect your DH to stick by an agreement they made as kids. If it was recently I’d be furious that he went behind your back!

Just let him tell Darren that you won’t agree to it, roll his eyes and say “Women, eh?” Take the blame to give your DH a get-out. You can’t possibly call your DC an awful name and live with it forever (and make your DC live with it). That just isn’t reasonable regardless of what DH promised his friend.

It could work you could even have it as a middle name at least he won't be one of a dozen in his class