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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Anyone have experience of people disliking their baby names?

47 replies

amyem · 19/09/2018 14:41

Hi all,

I just wondered if any of you have had experience of other people not liking your baby names? My partner and I have chosen one for a boy and one for a girl (as we don't know what we're having) but whenever we've said it to anyone they either say they aren't keen or say "oh ok" or pull a bit of a face or something.

I know we shouldn't care what other people think as it's our baby, and people are bound to always have their own opinions and comments no matter what, but you still want people to like them don't you! It's a bit upsetting when we've put a lot of thought into things and people sort of put you down a little bit.

Have any of you had this before? If so what did you do about it? I appreciate a lot of people will say just don't tell anyone which is fair enough and definitely something we thought about, but we also thought that maybe it would be better to tell people so they have chance to "get used to it" before the baby comes along. I just feel like people are always a bit negative at what is supposed to be a really happy time!

Sorry for the rant, I suffer with anxiety and so people responding like that tends to set it off a bit and get me quite down about it as well. I know there's no pleasing everyone but you'd think people would at least pretend to like them out of courtesy! I'd never say I didn't like a name when someone had chosen it!

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Nellyelora · 19/09/2018 14:44

Yes, we have a family member who doesn't like our dd's name. Kept giving various reasons why we should change it. We knew she'd be like this so didn't say the name until dd was born. I like to remind her that she's had her opportunity to name her children and that incidentally I don't like her dcs name. I'm pregnant again and she's trying to persuade us to use a name. I just keep telling her outright that I don't like it. My view is is that if they're rude about your child's name, you can be rude back

Wolfiefan · 19/09/2018 14:46

Don’t share names until baby arrives. People tend to be less blunt once a child has already been named.
If the name is so out there that people need a chance to get used to it then I would rethink. Your child can’t spend their whole life trying to tell people their unusual name before meeting them.

WowserBowser · 19/09/2018 14:46

I never tell anyone. Why would they need to get used to it? It isn't their child.

Everyone always says what a lovely name it is after they are born

Coldhandscoldheart · 19/09/2018 14:48

Unless they’re my mother who was so frank about how much she hated the name we chose, we changed it. Still angry tbh.

Original poster

amyem · 19/09/2018 14:48

Thanks for the quick responses guys! They aren't out there at all I just meant that obviously any name is new to the family and people might change their opinions over time that was all. Families hey!!

OP posts:

treaclesoda · 19/09/2018 14:49

I never told anyone what names we were considered before my children were born.

After the baby is actually named you will find that people will try harder to be polite. Although sometimes the look on their face will give away their true feelings even if they are trying to hide it. I had a couple of people say outright that they thought one of our names was awful.

But if they want to call a baby by their favourite baby name, they are welcome to go ahead and have a baby of their own.

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/09/2018 14:50

I think it's best not to share names until the baby arrives but I can't imagine ever making a negative comment unless you wanted to call your baby Adolph.

clary · 19/09/2018 14:50

I've had it on MN OP, especially with DD's name. My kids have got first World War names (like Albert or Mabel - not those tho) and DD's in particular seems to attract a lot of "that's a horrible name" when others post about it.

It's fine, y know. I maybe don't like their choice. If you like the names you have chosen that's what matters. (what are they? Nosey!!)

PinkAvocado · 19/09/2018 14:51

Obviously it’s your choice but sometimes I think it’s not a bad thing if people point out something you hadn’t noticed. Also if lots of people dislike it, I’d think more carefully about if it was a name that the child may also not like.

Nobody liked a few names I mentioned. I’m so glad I put them out there!

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 19/09/2018 14:53

My mil (ex) declared she would never use ds's name as it was so awful!! Told her she didn't have to see him - choice was hers.

bluet · 19/09/2018 14:54

I think people dislike most of my baby name choices! It's your choice - I don't think anyone really makes comments AFTER the baby is actually born with that name, a lot of people weirdly assume that they can comment on preferences before a baby is born!

Fwend · 19/09/2018 15:04

My MIL was so awful about my SILs baby name (which was perfectly normal!) that she forced them to change it. She convinced their other child to refer to the baby by the name she preferred, and made such a big deal about it that they conceded to her.

We didn't tell her our baby names as a consequence, and if she'd tried anything similar she'd have been shown the door.

Shadow1234 · 19/09/2018 15:28

I think most people have been through this scenario at some
point, you are never going to please everyone. Its your child
and your decision, so stick with the name YOU like. Dont be
Intimidated to change your mind.

EthelThePiratesDaughter · 19/09/2018 15:59

What are the names?

Ask the Mumsnet jury whether the names are awful and your relatives are right to pull a face, or whether they're fine and you just need to keep quiet until the baby is born.

Verbena87 · 19/09/2018 16:04

Don’t tell people until baby is here and named. I really dislike a very close friend’s choice of name but I would never say anything, and actually after about 10 minutes cuddling her gorgeous baby it just became normal.

scrivette · 19/09/2018 16:09

Don't tell anyone the names before the baby is born!

DD has a real marmite name, it's either loved or hated. My Dad hates it (and didn't talk to me for a week after she was born!!!) but now calls her a shortened version of the name. My Mum and InLaws didn't like it at first, but now have got used to the name and have even admitted they quite like it now.

If you like the name (and it's not too ridiculous!) just go with it but be prepared for negative comments and ready to ignore them.

I adore DD's name and despite the reactions have never regretted it.

Tilliebean · 19/09/2018 16:37

We didn’t tell anyone the names we were considering before DD arrived (bar my sister who was due the same week as me).
One of the first thing MIL said when she met DD was that she didn’t like DD’s full name but did like her nickname.
I couldn’t care less. She only occasionally started using her full name around 3 years later!
I’m pregnant again and my mum has been pestering me for the names. I told her nope. It’s hard enough picking a name between two people. I’m not taking anyone else’s opinions on board. I’m sure DC2 will have a name someone dislikes. It’s their problem.
By the way DD’s name is completely normal and classic. DC2’s will be as well.

ReginaPhalange89 · 19/09/2018 16:39

We did. My partner's family didn't like our girls name , we mentioned it early on before we even knew the sex. We never mentioned it again but at one point someone asked about names and we said we had a few to choose from, one of them piped up "I hope it's not xxx" . I almost cried but I kept my mouth shut !

We went ahead with it anyway ! And I'm so glad I did. It was my favourite name for years before I even met my partner. If he hadn't liked it too I'd have probably let it go but no way anyone else was putting me off it .

Even after she was here I asked if they liked it now and they were just a bit like "meh" . Oh well!

SpikyCactus · 19/09/2018 16:49

Nobody likes DS’s nickname because it isn’t the one commonly used for his name. Its like for Edward the usual nn would be Eddie, but we use Ward instead. Everyone who meets him automatically calls him Eddie, so we have to say actually he goes by Ward, and then they look at us like we’re weirdos. So everyone with a brother, partner, uncle or cat called Eddie is offended because we’ve dissed that nn by choosing not to use it and correcting people who use it automatically.

Rjd13 · 19/09/2018 16:58

I asked something similar to this and had a lot of ‘don’t tell anyone until...’ but it’s a bit late for that. When I casually mentioned the girls name I liked to my family I had no idea that they would react as they did. I didn’t realise the name I liked would be contentious at all so it totally surprised me that they all made sick noises and said they hoped I was joking! I was gutted to say the least, as you said, you don’t need people to like your name but it would be nice if they did.

I’m due next week and that name will still be used if I have a girl and if it suits. It’s the only name that I have loved throughout my pregnancy. I met a trainee doctor recently with the name and asked if she liked it and she did. I also put it out on MN and had some lovely responses. I refuse to pick a middle of the road or top 10 name for other peoples benefit and just hope that for every person that doesn’t like the name, there will be someone that loves it!

ParliamentOfRavens · 19/09/2018 17:00

I've name changed to say this as it's probably a bit too much personal info on the web, but we called our 3yr old daughter Miranda. I've lost count of the number of immediate pursed lips "Oh....like the...um...comedian woman on the telly? That's....nice" conversations I've had since then.

Inside my head I go "No, like The Tempest actually. I've never seen the show. But, even if yes, as far as I know the comedian Miranda is a successful, funny woman, so a pretty good namesake actually. Stop making catsbum faces."

Out loud I go "Yep!" which probably annoys them even more.

Cattenberg · 19/09/2018 17:05

My immediate family like DDs name, and some friends like it, but others were like "oh, that's .... unusual" (it's not super unusual, by the way and definitely not wacky). It bothered me when she was a newborn. For some reason, I really wanted everyone to like her name.

Now, I don't care much. I wouldn't choose many of the names that are popular today. It would be awful if everyone had the same taste and we all shared the same few names.

Thurlow · 19/09/2018 17:07

I find most people dislike DS's name in its long version, and when he was a teeny baby I had a few funny looks. I can see why, it's a big, old-fashioned name for a small child. I always get a better reaction when I say the shortening we normally use.

My dad still doesn't like it much, I can just tell!

SpikyCactus · 19/09/2018 17:12

@ParliamentOfRavens Miranda is lovely! Reminds me of the red haired lady from Sex and the City! (and also makes me think of meringues, and now I’m hungry)

twiglet · 19/09/2018 17:20

I told my mum what we thought of names wise when we found out that we are having a boy her response was urghhh really?! It really upset me as I love it it was a celtic easy to spell name! Made worse by the fact that all of her grandchildren so far have crazy made up/American names such as rappers etc.
But I don't think she will be happy regardless as we are English but live in Scotland so our boy is going to have a celtic name! Her suggestion was William fine for England but I don't know a single scot called William and my DH has ruled out any names related to the royal family!

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