MIL won't stop giving name suggestions and asking for the name

[Yellowcar107]

Hi,

This is my second pregnancy and my MIL was the same in the last one. I just have had enough really, I don't want to tell her the name we chose as last time we did she was rude about it.

As we don't give her a name she is constantly suggesting names and gets put out if we say we don't like them. I try to be polite and say its to similar to DD or someone in the family has it already.

She just won't stop and I don't know what to do about it. DH can't say a word to her as she gets all high rate with him.

I just want the name talk to stop and just want to enjoy going over to see them wtih DD like we did before.

Any suggestions? 🤦🏼‍♀️

Smile sweetly and say you would like it to be a surprise and will tell her after the birth

Hi guys

Thank you so much for the suggestions!

I will be saying her suggestions will be added to the list and that we want to keep it secret until the baby is born as last time others was rude about our name choices.

Not sure why she is so obsessed with knowing, she is one of those women that want to be part of the pregnancy. DH is only child as she wants to be part of every part of his life. Last time she even tried to get me to take her to the delivery room! Lol she knows that isn't even an option to talk about as I shut that down immediately last time.

Thanks again guys! Fingers crossed this whole baby name talk will ease x

She sounds v v overexcited and sticks her oar in.

@MikeUniformMke 😂😂😂
OP, Tell her to butt out.

Sorry. It was too good to ignore.
Good job I don't have a son or I'd be worried. Best wishes OP, and don't forget to ask on here if MIL runs out of ideas.

She got to pick her own kids names!

Just nod along and smile. How annoying.

I agree, say you've chosen XYZ [an outrageous name] in honour of your dearly loved childhood hamster, and won't consider anything else.

My mother kept suggesting the names of my cousins for my dc2; my cousins are inoffensive, unremarkable beige people I'm not close to, only saw once per year growing up, and haven't seen in years. They both have "dad" names they share with many 70s born men. Naming my baby after one of them would have been very weird. When we did tell her our chosen name she left a very long pause and then said in a heavily disappointed tone "Oh. I suppose I'll get used to it". Added to my growing inclination never to tell her anything again...

I just kept telling my MIL that we would "see what she looked like". It shut her up eventually.

my MIL was the same so in the end i just told her a name that we were considering (but were planning on using something different) it kept her quiet for a while.

Oh ooh oog, can we help with thinking up a weird name to tell her?

Bonzo Mcdonald Trumpski?

When we wouldn’t tell my mother our son’s name she said ‘oh well, I’ll just call him Archie then’ she then called him Archie in a number of texts between me and my sisters and I have to admit I lost my cool a bit and she stopped doing it but started doing things like saying ‘I had a dream last night and I think my grandson is called Oliver’ I just ignored her or put on my best bitch face and tried to change the subject.
My MIL on the other hand was a dream😂

Politely tell her this is your choice between you and your husband and that she had her turn with her children.

Just tell her that the baby will be called Balonz. Then let her stew about that for a while.

I read these threads and often feel a little sad.

OP have you tried looking at this from a different perspective? Perhaps she just wants to be involved?

If you can hand on your heart say that she is trying to upset you then tell her the truth. Say that you don't appreciate her interference, that it upsets you.

If she is just being a bit over zealous, try and cut her some slack. Kindness for the sake is ok.

The last time I saw my MIL she suggested the same name 7 times followed by an explanation of why we should use it. We were there for 3 hours. I admit I snapped the last time she suggested the name as I was pretty bored of explaining why I didn't want to use it. She was very rude about dd's name and kept suggesting names after she was born and didn't call her by her name until she was about 6 months old.

But, I think pp suggestion of saying you'll add it to the list is a good one. If my MIL mentions the name again I might follow suit just to get her off my back.

When I was pregnant I really hated anyone (apart from my husband) suggesting names. I wanted to choose the name, not have it suggested.

Sympathies!

My DM wanted my bridesmaid to have flowers in her hair. I didn't. It went on and on.

There are a lot of older women who seriously lack self awareness!

CruCru One of mine was very poorly for the first week and naming him was the last thing on our minds (we had a nn but hadn’t decided on a proper name). One of the nurses said she was going to name him if we didn’t 😡. This caused us so much distress, we didn’t even know if ds would live.

Unfortunately for her I mentioned this to another nurse who was shocked and took it further. Sounds a little thing but at the time it was like a threat we didn’t need!

Next time she mentions a name say “OMG I love that, thanks MIL, I think we have a winner!”. Then go ahead and use the name you’ve already chosen.

Sounds exactly like my Mum!!!

Oh my mil did this with our first child, kept asking what names we had chosen and making suggestions. I smiled and nodded along. We had a girls name chosen but not a boys, we didn't share it. I never share names before the baby arrives as it invites people to say "I don't like that". With our second child we genuinely hadn't picked any names, he was no name for a week. People kept suggesting things and I just said yeah we'll think about it. Just humour her.

I think Nigel and Tracey are due for a comeback...

Barry is making a comeback along with Hilda and Reggie

One of our favourite names was already used by SIL. For some reason DH didn’t cotton onto this (his sister’s child. Obviously not a close family!) and told MIL we were thinking of it. She. Went. Ballistic. After that she didn’t care what we chose!