Is using relatives’ names ever acceptable?

[babynamewonderer]

We are struggling with names, mainly because all the names we like are already being used by a family member! We’ve got:

Martha - DH’s sister
Alexandra - DH’s cousin
Eleanor - My cousin’s daughter (6yo)
Elizabeth - My mum and DH’s cousins’ daughter (5yo)
Olive - DH’s (passed away) Grandmother

Our favourite is Martha but I think it might end up being too confusing. Every time we think of a new name, it always ends with a groan when we realise there’s already someone with that name

Other names we like are Charlotte, Grace, Edith, Beatrice and Alice. We just don’t love them as much as Martha.

Martha - DH’s sister NO definitely not
Alexandra - DH’s cousin NO
Eleanor - My cousin’s daughter (6yo) Maybe
Elizabeth - My mum and DH’s cousins’ daughter (5yo) Maybe
Olive - DH’s (passed away) Grandmother Yes

If you love the name Martha then you could use it.
Your DD would know her aunt as Aunt Martha so it wouldn't be the same to her.
If they have the same surname then it might be more tricky.
If you call your child any of the names on your list chances are they'll know someone with the same name or a very similar one.

Most of the Sarahs I know have a SIL called Sarah.

It might be nice to name DD Martha after her auntie. I'd be quite honoured.

We have two of our three children who have a) name of DHs da and b) name of DHs sister. It's not in the slightest bit confusing because we called his dad grandad x and child was just x and the sister/ child thing each had different short forms. They may see it as a touching 'tribute' but I would ask them first! ' we would love to call baby Martha but would that be an issue for you? We just love it' might be okay

You can definitely get away with Martha. No problems with naming after an older family member, it's generally considered an honor. The problem really only comes in with cousins having the same name, and even then, if it's a family name, it's not completely unreasonable.

I'd use olive if I were you! Lovely name

I think the only name you could use from your list is Olive. And I think that's the best name from your list I love it!

Martha - DH’s sister - no (too close a relation)
Alexandra - DH’s cousin - fine
Eleanor - My cousin’s daughter (6yo) - fine
Elizabeth - My mum and DH’s cousins’ daughter (5yo) - fine if you use a different nickname from the one your mum uses
Olive - DH’s (passed away) Grandmother - fine

FWIW I don’t like Martha or Olive
Love Elizabeth as it’s a beautiful classic with lots of nickname options

I did have a quiet word with DH’s sister to see how she would feel if we named the baby the same name as her, and she was touched. Will people think we have no imagination though? (I mean, they’d be right )

I also worry that Martha doesn’t really have any natural shortenings, unlike something like Elizabeth where one might be known as Libby and another known as Betsy, for example. So they would both just be Martha. She does have the same surname as us at the moment, but potentially not forever if she marries and changes her name.

Going against others here.

My cousin n my dad have the same name and we've not found it confusing at all. The context of the conversation makes it obvious which one is being talked about. And if you need both of them at the same time then you only need to shout one name!!!

It would be fine to re-use an adult's name, although your DD may become Little Name. That cousin or Aunty will have a different relationship with your DD so only do this if you want to encourage this and it won't offend other aunts/ cousins to pick that name.

I personally wouldn't re-use a name already used by a child under about 10-12 in the family, although you'd probably be fine if they don't see their namesake often, if the surnames are different or one uses a diminutive, and if the other parents are not easily offended (a lot of ifs).

Possible short forms
Mally
Ma
Martie
Mimi
Mattie
Marthie

And I like Marta

Naming a child the same as relative in the next generation (or a generation or two removed) is a popular thing to do and not at all odd. You will get people assuming the child is named after them, though, so only if you like them/have a good relationship!

Personally I wouldn't use a sibling's name for my child (so grandparents had two grandkids with same name) but cousins kids not a problem, unless you are extraordinarily close. I have nearly 50 cousins, most of them older than me, so if I ruled out all their kids names I'd have probably not had any left to choose from at all!

My son has two Aunty Kate's... one from each side of the family. He also has a grandfather and a brother on his Dad's side, and a great-grandfather, uncle and cousin on my side called Peter. We seem to manage quite easily with drawing a distinction between which ones we're talking to/about, so it can be done, OP.

If you love the name Martha, then as a previous poster said, it can be shortened (I immediately thought of Mattie/Matty, too, so...), and if anything your SIL is likely to be hugely honoured if you ask if she'd mind your naming her niece after her...

It’s great to hear all the differing opinions on this. Unfortunately DH’s family is very close, so we spend a lot of time with his cousins and their children.

I love the Mally and Matty nicknames for Martha, hadn’t thought of either of those.

I was going to suggest Mattie as a nickname for Martha! It's not contrived really, if you have a non-rhotic accent then the "r" in Martha isn't really audible anyway. I really didn't think naming after an aunt or uncle was odd at all, it's fairly common where I am (my brother is named after my mum's brother and they're close)

Our ds is Daniel. Dh's stepson is also Daniel.

No, should say dh's uncles stepson is also Daniel. Dh and I only have our son with each other, no other children.

We have in my family
4 toms
3 Stephens
The toms are cousins and named after grandads and dads
I think it’s ridiculous personally and because some have the last surname too we have to say ‘big tom’ ‘Little tom’ ‘Tom tom’ And ‘tom a’

Oh and now little Tom is bigger than big Tom to make it worse lol

I was named after my auntie and I absolutely hate it also hate being in the same room as when our name is called we never know which one is actually being called my daughter has my Nan (passed away) name (as a middle name) though

I think if the child won't always be around then you could get away with it but I wouldn't name after a close relative

I really like Olive, Edith and Beatrice from your list. Martha is nice but if you are always seeing the other Martha it may get a bit much. It's fine though if that's your favourite!

Don't use the same name as a child you actually see (it wouldn't matter if it was a cousin's child you'd never met).

If you use the name of an adult people will think you're naming the baby "after" that relative. Most people will think that's a lovely thing and a huge compliment. For that reason don't use the name of a relative you have an awkward relationship with, or don't respect... Even though the use of the same name is coincidental, people will choose to believe that it isn't.

It's lovely to name a child after a much loved role model type relative though.

I think immediate family is not good, but once you get to cousins it's fine. But then I'm in Ireland and loads of cousins here are called the same name.