Is using relatives’ names ever acceptable?

[babynamewonderer]

We are struggling with names, mainly because all the names we like are already being used by a family member! We’ve got:

Martha - DH’s sister
Alexandra - DH’s cousin
Eleanor - My cousin’s daughter (6yo)
Elizabeth - My mum and DH’s cousins’ daughter (5yo)
Olive - DH’s (passed away) Grandmother

Our favourite is Martha but I think it might end up being too confusing. Every time we think of a new name, it always ends with a groan when we realise there’s already someone with that name

Other names we like are Charlotte, Grace, Edith, Beatrice and Alice. We just don’t love them as much as Martha.

Our DS shares a name with my uncle.
They are known as Big [name] and Wee [name].
Personally I don't think it's a problem but I think in a lot of Scottish family's there's a tradition of using a smallish pool of names.
We had about five David's at one point.

My cousin named her son the same as her (cousins) brother, I’m not close enough to know if it was after him or after someone else. They’re just “little tom” and “big tom” or “tom” and “Lucy’s Tom”

I have tons of cousins, most of us aren’t close. One cousin has the same name as the daughter of another cousin, the girls hardly ever see each other but like that they share a name.

I have the same (common) name as my only aunt, but spelled differently. It wasn't really a problem for me because we lived in different cities and so only saw her occasionally, plus she had a different surname and we had different shortenings within the family, although both used the full name for friends/school/work. Also as PPs have said, being a different generation meant the confusion was less.

If you're closer, may cause a few more minor practical difficulties, but if your DH's sister is happy with you using Martha, sounds like that's the biggest potential issue sorted. With both Elizabeth and Eleanor, if you're planning on using different shortenings for every day, that could be a clear way to differentiate?

I would go with Martha if DH's sister is fine with it- you won't be muddled. I'd have liked to have used an aunt's name if I'd had another child, I have lovely positive associations with it and hope she wouldn't have minded.

Martha, as an aunt I'd be flattered to have a niece named after me.
Olive, lovely to remember Grandma.
Avoid all the others, lovely names but cousins close in age could be confusing.

In my family growing up we had names used in various generations. Grandmother was Elizabeth. Known to everyone as grandma. Aunt also Elizabeth but called aunt Betty. My sister Elizabeth but called Liz

Grandfather Stanley, called grandpa. Uncle Stan, who has a son Stanley, called Stan. My father James, clearly called Dad, uncle Jim to test of family. My brother is James, known as jamie. Uncle named James, known as uncle jimmy B (he loved his last name, very distinctive last name that he embraced, was the name of a cartoon character). He had a son named James, known as Jimmy. No one got confused.

Now I have cousins, brother and sister, Michael and Suzanne. Michael (Mike) married a Susan (Sue) and Suzanne (Suzie) married a Michael (Michael). No one gets confused.

All of above my dad’s side of the family.
Cousin Mike has a daughter Victoria. Never even entered my thoughts when we named our daughter Victoria (Torie). Never had any confusion.

My mother and grandmother had the same name too as did her dad and brother.

I personally wouldn’t do it. Just don’t like the idea of being named after someone else in the family.

I think those are all fine except Martha, although since she's said she'd be okay with it, that's fine too.

Other similar names:
Miriam
Matilda
Margaret
Bertha

If I try and take Martha off the list, I think Edith is coming through as my next favourite...

I can't see a problem with Martha or Elizabeth
Or you could do Elizabeth Martha and call her Beth or Lizzie or Eliza

I like Martha and if it's fine with dh's sister than that's great. However wouldn't it be weird for your dh? I can't imagine having a child wih the same name as my sister.

Martha is DH’s favourite too!

Martha Olive

I'd be delighted to have a niece named after me! But as an alternative to Martha how about Magda?

Martha is a great name and if Auntie Martha is happy why not?

I might be inclined (personally) to go with Márta or Marthe to save written confusion. (Also because I think those spellings are lovely!)

It’s only acceptable if the relative is deceased imo.