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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Would you point this out?

31 replies

Galaxymama · 21/07/2018 12:06

My friend is due a baby in December, her 2nd. Her first daughter is called Jessica and she's planning on calling her Christmas baby Holly. She told me yesterday as I quilt and am making her one for new babies arrival. No one else knows name yet.

I didn't make the association straight away with the 2 little girls from soham. Now that's all I can think about and the most crazy bit is their dad is called Ian.

I honestly don't think it crossed their mind but should I say something? Or is it just me being OTT? I don't think it would have been too bad but with their Dad's name...?

OP posts:

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ICanOnlyLaugh · 21/07/2018 12:08

Soham was terrible and tragic but they are both common names. And very lovely names.

I really think you’re reaching with ‘Ian’ though Another very common name.

Elllicam · 21/07/2018 12:11

I think I would mention it to her, I would make the connection too.

headinhands · 21/07/2018 12:11

So people called Ian with daughters called holly and Jessica, all 3 should have their names changed?

Besides they weren't sisters.

I'd probably say something if they were having b/g twins and were found to call them Fred and Rose.

Original poster

Galaxymama · 21/07/2018 12:31

Not at all, just the names together are quite recognisable in regards to that horrible event.

I just wasn't sure if she had made that connection and therefore can make a decision on the name, knowing that.

(Also the quilt takes a lot of work and I don't want to have to unpick her name if she realises and decides to change it)

OP posts:

BillywilliamV · 21/07/2018 12:35

Gosh your mind works in a weird way, very few people will make connection.

KMoKMo · 21/07/2018 12:41

I think you’re right and not OTT at all. I’d notice and others may too. But I’m not sure I’d say anything. How good a friend is she? How would she take you pointing it out? I think that would be the decider for me and only you know what your friendship is like.
They are common names but together it’s just a little weird.

Sessy19 · 21/07/2018 12:44

OMG, nooooo....do NOT say anything!!

Jeez, these are her precious children!! If she hasn’t thought of any nasty connotations, neither should any of her friends. How about people just leave nasty comments in their head.

Sophronia · 21/07/2018 13:12

I would make the connection and I think I would mention it to her.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 21/07/2018 13:25

How do you know she hasn't made the connection and is sensible enough to know that it doesn't matter?

Halfahunnerstillastunner · 21/07/2018 13:42

Is she quite young OP? I mean, from my vantage point of middle age, under 30? I'm just asking because the Soham murders happened in 2002, 16 years ago so may not have registered with her as strongly as someone like me who remembers all the news reports at the actual time etc. I think I would have to mention it tho, it was a massive story and lots of people will still have those associations with those names.

FMLFMLFMLFML · 21/07/2018 13:57

I would mention it.

I was in a same-but-different situation when a friend confided her name choice for her unborn ds - his initials spelt out BNP. I did say something, and she was pleased that i had pointed it out as it hadn’t registered with her at all, and she switched his name from Benjamin Noah to Noah Benjamin.

LeeMiller · 21/07/2018 14:11

If they use Jessica not Jess/Jessie then I'd make the connection.

kenandbarbie · 21/07/2018 14:14

I would say something, but tactfully, in case she hasn't realized. Having said that, as someone else said it was a long time ago so it wouldn't be a dealbreaker if she lives the names anyway. Also, it might depend where in the country you live, if you're in the same county it would be worse than if you're very far away, as it is probably in the consciousness and memories of locals more than anywhere else.

MikeUniformMike · 21/07/2018 14:26

I would mention it.

DramaAlpaca · 21/07/2018 14:49

I'd make the connection instantly & I would have to say something.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 21/07/2018 14:53

What does it matter though? They are just girls names. Does everyone steer clear of every single child that has died? Of course not. It's the same with Madeleine, a lot of posters say they wouldn't use it because of Madeleine McCann which imo is ridiculous.

It's just a name. If it was Myra then I could understand why someone wouldn't want want to use it but not the name of an innocent child.

CheeseTheDay · 21/07/2018 14:54

I would make the connection, but I'm originally from Soham, and knew one of the families (lived in same street), and knew the other family in passing. The names Holly and Jessica will forever be linked in my mind.

However, even I still wouldn't say anything if your friend was one of my friends, because I would appreciate that not everyone has the local link to the events of 2002 that I have.

HJL2506 · 21/07/2018 17:05

I remember reading about those ooor girls very well and I didn't make the connection. At first I thought your question was going to be"should I ask if they are naming their Daughter Holly as she will be born in the Xmas month".

My mum was going to name me as Holly as I'm born near Xmas, although she didn't in the end.

Personally I would not mention it to your friend. You don't want to taint the name they love and have chosen for their daughter or to give them second thoughts. Also those poor little girls were beautiful and they are the names of the victims, not the scumbags who harmed them.

haverhill · 21/07/2018 17:13

I would mention it. Even if she’s too young to make the link, her daughters will encounter people throughout their lives who do make the link.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/07/2018 17:14

I didn’t make the connection but if you have, and think others will, I would mention it.

ZebraKid71 · 21/07/2018 17:32

I would make the connection, I live in the North, have no connection to the events and was quite young at the time and it is still my first thought on hearing the names together. If it was me I would be appreciative of being told.

Cosmoa · 21/07/2018 17:33

If it was just Holly and Jessica I maybe wouldn't mention it.. But the Ian part too would make me wanna say something.

And her mind doesn't work in a weird way! There has been another thread about this recently. Lots of people quickly make the connection. I did and I was 12 when it happened but it was very memorable. (I'm 28 now... Can't believe how long ago that was!)

MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood · 21/07/2018 18:20

Oddly you are the second poster I've seen to raise this dilemma in the other case, the DSD was one of the names and she had been planning on calling her DD the other and felt she couldn't

It was only a few months ago.

I would say something if we were close I think but not if it was more of an acquaintance

I'd immediately think of Soham if someone introduced their DDs as Holly and Jessica

MrsReader · 23/07/2018 02:09

I think it won't be as noticeable if they are introduced as Jessica and Holly. If it was Holly and then new baby Jessica it would be more of an issue.

FannyCornforth · 23/07/2018 02:32

Gosh. This is difficult, isn't it. I immediately thought of Soham. I think anyone who was over the age of ten then would remember it. The girls' names were repeated over and over again. It's a tabloid thing. I'd want to mention it, and I think someone probably should, but I'm not sure how I'd go about it.
Sorry, I've not been much help!

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