Sarah / Sadie... AIBU...

[heymrsb]

When we first found out we were expecting, we had a few conversations where I'd suggest names and DH would say yay or nay. Of course he would never suggest a name - this seems to be a running theme 🙄

A bit of fun because the real "arguments" wouldn't begin til we found out... oh how I wish I hadn't joked...

One of my favourite girls' names (that got the OK) was Sadie. It turned out that it was DH's gran's name - which I thought was cute. In fact, we had Sadie Ellen down as a possibility, including my gran as a middle name, too. Very country western and appreciate not to all tastes but I loved it.

As soon as we got out the hospital after finding out we were having a girl, DH started calling bump Sarah Ellen.

STOP. THE. BUS.

Apparently Sadie is from Sarah - well, Ellen is from Helen, but I didn't see why we needed to be formal! He's determined that Sadie should be a nickname, and she should be called Sarah.

It's not that I don't like the name Sarah. But it was the name of DH's first serious girlfriend when he was 17... and it just annoys me. I took exes names, or anything close, out of all consideration ... but he doesn't see it as an issue. It was 17 years ago - true - and she is nowhere to be seen, but he still mentions her from time to time (anecdotally, like 30 something's talk about our younger days 🙈) and I just don't feel it's appropriate.

To top it off, my Mum (who ALSO suggested the name Sadie at one point) now on finding out it's related to a relative - thinks bump should have her "own name" (but does agree Sadie should be a nickname from Sarah.) Never mentioned a thing about the ex situ, fuel to fire etc.

I've told DH to stop calling bump by any name, because I want to meet her before we decide - but every time I've mentioned an alternative he just states we have found a name we liked. Feel like he is the unreasonable one! I do still love Sadie but it just feels a bit tarnished now.

Other fave names I loved but were kaiboshed were:

Lyra
Rachel (Rae)
Clara
Phoebe
Naomi

Any thoughts? Am I just being too sensitive? We still have time, it's just frustrating!

Don't go through with calling her a name you're not comfortable with! Like you said, you have time. I don't think you're being too sensitive at all!

For the record.. I thinj Sadie is a lovely name! (but not Sarah, as there are too many!!)

I think you're being a bit ridiculous about the ex, tbh. But I agree that Sadie is a nicer namer.

Sadie and Sarah are not the same name - call your baby the name you prefer. I always think it is ridiculous to put a name on the birth certificate that you have zero intention of using.
I know a child called Sadie. So far as I am aware, it is her proper name, not a nickname.

As an aside, and totally irrelevant to your thread, I do think Sarah is a lovely name for a baby. Although it is very popular amongst 40 year olds, it is quite an unusual name for a small child.

Yanbu not to call your baby a name you don't like (for whatever reason). Tell DH it's Sadie or something else entirely and Sarah is off the table.

Sadie is a diminutive of Sarah in the same way that Maggie is a diminutive of Margaret or that Lily is a diminutive of Elizabeth. That is, they are all traditionally shortened forms or nicknames for the full name and didn’t originally exist independently, but do exist as independent names now.

So your husband is correct. But you don’t have to like Sarah.

Which leaves you at an impasse. I suggest choosing one of your other names. I like Clara, Phoebe and Naomi.

If I were you, I'd find a totally different name altogether. Don't settle on Sarah nn Sadie if you are uncomfortable with it, you'll likely end up regretting it. And by the sounds of it, you won't be happy naming her Sarah - so don't.
Considering the sentimentality of the names to you both however, you could always go for [first name] Sarah Ellen [surname] or [first name] Sadie Ellen [surname]?

Tell OH you’re not naming your daughter Sarah so you need to come up with a new name. Do not name your child a name you’re not comfortable with whether you’re BU or not! Don’t let him shut you down when you want to discuss it, that’s him being childish. Also, fwiw I wouldn’t be comfortable using mine or my DP ex’s names either. Think it would be a bit weird.

Sarah is one of the most boring names on earth.

You’re the one risking your life to give birth to this baby - you get final say.

Love Sadie and Naomi 😊

Sarah is one of the most boring names on earth

This ^^ x100 (see also Megan, Laura and Claire)

Sadie is lovely.

My mum wanted to call my sister Christabel, but she was too shy too, so she called her something else, not even that different - but she was annoyed at her shyness about it and mentioned it as a minor regret. Here's the thing, when you pop out that baby, and all the effort that is involved in that moment and you are there holding the baby having lived through the miracle of childbirth, this man better STFU, name her what YOU want. That's it. He will be so happy, he will do anything you say. So drop the issue, don't mention it and when you give birth you announce your choice - Sadie, Naomi... Whatever you want ;)

I also suggest that you pay for anything you can in a department store in the children's department- that way on the c/c receipt you can pass off your shoes as necessary items.

I won't take the Sarah chat too personally as it is a pretty pants name. What about seren. Kinda like Sarah but different

Sarah btw is one of the best names to travel with- being so known in many cultures. I think it's a great name for someone that will have an international life. For me I think of it as being a wise and also friendly name.

Naomi Sadie

@mountains.. Makes me feel slightly better about my name :)

Calling a baby Sarah now would be quite unique, probably be the only one in her class by the time she gets to school.

Miss Sarah's a fabulous name. It has a long history, a great meaning, is universal unlike the vast majority of names, and Sarah is one of the most revered people/characters in Judaism.

Ahhh ladies. My.name doesn't seem quite as full when you put it like that

The only thing 'wrong' with Sarah is that it was chronically overused in the 70's, so people no longer hear how pretty it sounds and just think about how many women they know who have it! Same with Rachel and Claire - also really pretty names imo. Personally, I think they are all due a revival - time to move on from everyone calling their dc old lady names.

Agree with PP’s its Sadie or something else. Although there’s no animosity between me and DP’s exes I wouldn’t be naming my daughter the same as them - and one of them has a gorgeous name!

You can't call her Sarah. If it annoys you this much now, that would only get worse. If it were me, I'd say, "it's Sadie or nothing. Sarah is vetoed" and make it clear it's off the table now completely.

Sarah is so boring. Sadie did start life as a nickname but stands alone now. Like Liam from William, it’s an established name in its own right. I quite like Sadie, I don’t think I’ve ever met one.

You cant insist on calling bump a name he dislikes and so he shouldnt insist on calling bump a name you dislike. Tell him Sarah/Sadie is now not an option for you and you will have to think of a new first name, he can argue all he likes, just refer him to my first sentence. ( we had Abby down as a name till exh wanted Abigail on birth cert, hate Abigail, so dd was called something else!)

Stand up for Sadie if you don't want Sarah.

I have had friends called Sally - apparently historically their name was a nickname for Sarah but Sally was on their birth certificates.

I get your discomfort about Sarah being DH's first gf's name, btw.

If he gets to say a flat out no to a name, so do you. Tell him very clearly that the baby is not being called Sarah. If he does it in front of other people, tell them that the baby isn’t called Sarah and your dh is being a dick.