Sarah / Sadie... AIBU...

[heymrsb]

When we first found out we were expecting, we had a few conversations where I'd suggest names and DH would say yay or nay. Of course he would never suggest a name - this seems to be a running theme 🙄

A bit of fun because the real "arguments" wouldn't begin til we found out... oh how I wish I hadn't joked...

One of my favourite girls' names (that got the OK) was Sadie. It turned out that it was DH's gran's name - which I thought was cute. In fact, we had Sadie Ellen down as a possibility, including my gran as a middle name, too. Very country western and appreciate not to all tastes but I loved it.

As soon as we got out the hospital after finding out we were having a girl, DH started calling bump Sarah Ellen.

STOP. THE. BUS.

Apparently Sadie is from Sarah - well, Ellen is from Helen, but I didn't see why we needed to be formal! He's determined that Sadie should be a nickname, and she should be called Sarah.

It's not that I don't like the name Sarah. But it was the name of DH's first serious girlfriend when he was 17... and it just annoys me. I took exes names, or anything close, out of all consideration ... but he doesn't see it as an issue. It was 17 years ago - true - and she is nowhere to be seen, but he still mentions her from time to time (anecdotally, like 30 something's talk about our younger days 🙈) and I just don't feel it's appropriate.

To top it off, my Mum (who ALSO suggested the name Sadie at one point) now on finding out it's related to a relative - thinks bump should have her "own name" (but does agree Sadie should be a nickname from Sarah.) Never mentioned a thing about the ex situ, fuel to fire etc.

I've told DH to stop calling bump by any name, because I want to meet her before we decide - but every time I've mentioned an alternative he just states we have found a name we liked. Feel like he is the unreasonable one! I do still love Sadie but it just feels a bit tarnished now.

Other fave names I loved but were kaiboshed were:

Lyra
Rachel (Rae)
Clara
Phoebe
Naomi

Any thoughts? Am I just being too sensitive? We still have time, it's just frustrating!

I think Sarah is a beautiful name. However if you don't love it definitely don't name your child it.

Sadie is a beautiful name but Sarah is entirely different! Don’t agree to it legally as she’ll end up being called that at school/work etc and before you know it that will be her name.

I’m a Sarah ;) it’s not a common name now though, was when I was born though! I personally love the name Sadie or Naomi :)

My late granny was Sadie short for Sarah. Your husband doesn't get to choose a name unilaterally, if you don't like it, don't use it.

I much prefer Sarah. Sadie is the popular name now, Sarah is more refreshing to hear.

I find Sadie quite childish in sound.

Your problem is with your decision-making process. You need a new one.

First, stop telling him names you like and allowing him a veto. That places all the power in his hands. It results in the person who's 'not so interested in names' and hasn't spent time and energy thinking about them, making the final choice.

Then, both of you write down names you like. Agree that you can both veto any you hate but must leave a few on the other person's list (you'll need to write down a minumum number each for this to work, maybe ten and you have to leave five or three). Swap lists, cross out the terrible ones, then have a discussion about what's left.

Or... whatever method you like, that doesn't involve you doing all the work and really caring, then handing all the power over to him.

Sadie is significantly nicer than Sarah.

Sarah, Anna etc are so, so dull. Nothing wrong with them. It just seems to indicate a glaring lack of imagination on the parents part.

Make another name for his and use it... Sadie is fab.
Sarah is drab.
Imo!!

It really doesn’t matter whether people on here prefer Sarah or Sadie. Op doesn’t like Sarah and her dh keeps using it.

Op you need to tell him clearly that your dds name will not be Sarah and if he doesn’t come up with a list of names to discuss you will choose the name.

Why are you giving him the final say? Tell him it’s not the 1950’s

I’m a Sarah and I hate it - it’s such a dull name and there were so many of us at school. It’s never been shortened to Sadie in my life either, it’s one of those nicknames that has become a name in it’s own right. Next time your DH says you’ve found a name you both like just tell him you don’t actually like the name Sarah.

Don't go with a name you don't like.
If he doesn't want Sadie then choose something else.
I never knew Sadie was a diminutive of Sarah.
I know both Sarah's and Sadies and neither have ever been referred to as the opposite.

Surely the traditional full name / nick name argument is a bit redundant these days? There are no rules these days when it comes to names. The Sarah thing would royally get up my nose, as it’s not the name you agreed and you’ve said you don’t like it.