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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Feel I’ve chosen the wrong name 😩

45 replies

Baker10 · 03/05/2018 21:59

We registered our son today, my partner and children liked Harvey , I liked Lewis , I didn’t know what to do, partner said for me to choose, I ended up going with Harvey to make everyone else happy and I regretted it as soon as the certificates started being printed. I was told I can change the name within 12 months, the original name would stay on the birth certificate aswell as the new one. My partners Mum said she’s going to call him little man instead of Harvey. What would you all do in this situation? Change it or stick with it and get used to it?

OP posts:

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GreenTulips · 03/05/2018 22:01

I know a few Harvey's and Lewis's

Who chose the other names?

Did you not find one you both liked and could agree on?

Stringofpearls · 03/05/2018 22:13

I think Harvey is a lovely name, really not keen on Lewis as it doesn't seem like a very strong name. I'd stick with it, he will probably end up growing into it a little over the next few weeks and months.

Original poster

Baker10 · 03/05/2018 22:17

Unfortunately not 🙁, my son liked Leo, my partner and daughter liked Harvey then my son said Harvey’s ok but none of them liked Lewis or Jacob which were the 2 I liked. I really wanted everyone to agree on the name and now I don’t know what to do

OP posts:

Kintan · 03/05/2018 22:21

Hmm I think trying to please everyone has back-fired a bit. Should have just been you and the baby’s father choosing the name. But if you don’t hate Harvey, and your partner really doesn’t like Jacob or Lewis - so you would have been able to use them anyway - then just stick with Harvey :)

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 03/05/2018 22:21

Harvey is a very good choice, lovely !

Original poster

Baker10 · 03/05/2018 22:27

Yes it has backfired! my partner said he preferred Harvey but said it was upto me so even without our children involved I was still doing it to please him even though he said he would get over it if I went with another name. Think where I’ve had our son recently im quite emotional and indecisive which isn’t really like me.

OP posts:

chezmk1988 · 03/05/2018 22:29

I would take some time and think about it. You have 12 months. It may grow on you and if not there's still time to change it but I think you need a name you both like otherwise your OH will feel the same as you do now.

Original poster

Baker10 · 03/05/2018 22:43

Very true! I don’t know what to say to my partners Mum as she said she won’t call him by his name and she will just call him little man, I was a bit surprised she said that

OP posts:

sproutsandparsnips · 03/05/2018 23:02

Not relevant I know but ds is lewis and I still like it.
Harvey is ok though - as pp says a 'strong' name.

bunnynose · 03/05/2018 23:16

Think about it for a few months and try out different names. All the names you've mentioned are good names. I like Lewis the best, and prefer Jake to Jacob, but maybe you need to agree on a completely new name you both like.

Don't worry about changing the name on the birth certificate. It only shows on the full version.
I was in a similar situation to you. DH would only offer one name when I was trying to get out of him the names he liked. I wasn't keen, but the name he liked stuck and once he had told everyone that name before the baby was born, I felt I had to go with it. Five months later, I still didn't like it and I went back to the registry office and changed the name. By this point, I was so miserable about using a name I didn't like, my DH said to pick any name I wanted. The relief was amazing! I swapped the first and middle names around in the end. I was tempted to add a different name as the first name and keep the others as middle names, but DH didn't want two middle names, and I didn't want to completely take away the name we had originally used, even though I didn't like it.

Cosmoa · 04/05/2018 10:23

I much prefer Harvey to Lewis personally! It's much less common and a stronger name

QuestioningStuffBanana · 04/05/2018 10:29

Did your partner's mum say why she wouldn't call your ds by his name? That seems like a really strange thing to say.

You have time to change his name if you really want to but don't be pressured by other people like your dp's mum. It's really none of their business.

For what it's worth I like the name Harvey. It's my new nephew's name too.

Allthatglittersisgold · 04/05/2018 10:33

Leo is my favourite of the names mentioned but I do also love Harvey. Did you give him a middle name? Harvey Lewis? In that case you could use either.

I feel really sorry for you op. If the name still doesnt feel right after a week or so then talk more with your husband and change it to a name you both love. X

FizzyGreenWater · 04/05/2018 10:40

This is what you say to your partner's mum, who needs to remember that as this baby is not hers, she would do well to keep her mouth shut or end up seeing less of the baby:

'Oh dear MIL, well that's your choice but please be aware that you'll certainly be seeing a lot less of the baby as I wouldn't want him to be upset or confused that his own grandmother won't use his name. Seems a nasty point to make to a little baby, but like I say, your choice.'

GaryBarlowsTaxReturn · 04/05/2018 10:43

I think you and your partner need to decide without the input of your mother in law and kids. He's your baby, go with what you want rather than trying to please everyone else.

HappyLollipop · 04/05/2018 10:47

I do prefer Lewis but there's nothing wrong with Harvey though and they are both lovely names. Give it a little while to try to get used to Harvey it may grow on you but if you still don't think it's right then change it to Lewis.

FeralBeryl · 04/05/2018 10:52

I'm not going to offer my opinion on your chosen name - but congratulations!
You partner's mum is beyond rude. Harvey is inoffensive, not 'out there' and for her to refuse to address him by his name is ridiculous. Plus it sends the message to your other kids that there's something wrong with it.
Get DP to speak to her about this ASAP

MrsJayy · 04/05/2018 10:53

His name was the compromise and you feel you lost out which is fair enough Harvey is a fine name you will get used to it, my mil said she hated Dd2s name was too biblical but preferred Rachel why didn't we call her Rachel

MrsJayy · 04/05/2018 10:55

Sorry meant to add your Mil is beyond rude and every time she says little man correct her you mean Harvey

GinIsIn · 04/05/2018 11:05

You have a MIL problem, not a name problem. For what it’s worth, Harvey is a great name! And I’d avoid Lewis like the plague with the royal baby being called Louis.

BalloonFlowers · 04/05/2018 11:13

Harvey is great.
Did you give baby a middle name? I'm known by my middle name - so if my birth cert says Balloon Flowers Smith, everyone knows me as Flowers.
Is that a possibility? Call him by his middle name?

user1499786242 · 04/05/2018 11:47

'You have a MIL problem, not a name problem'

This^

bananaramasllama · 04/05/2018 11:48

I love the name Harvey!

Original poster

Baker10 · 04/05/2018 11:49

She didn’t say why she wouldn’t call him by his name but she made me feel bad by saying that and then said to me “so you gave in” which annoyed me more as I thought where it was a name her son preferred she would be pleased . Oh well I guess this is a bit of a lesson for me that I can’t please everyone all of the time. He’s registered as Harvey Lewis so I guess we could call him Harvey or Lewis?

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HouseworkIsASin10 · 04/05/2018 11:55

If he is registered Harvey Lewis then you can call him Lewis. I know a lot of people who go by their middle name. It's not a problem.

In fact, my friend only found out her DH 'name' was actually his middle name when they went to book their wedding.

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