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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

MIL doesn't like name???

99 replies

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 14:38

I am pregnant with my first. He is due November 10th. As soon as we found out we were having a little boy we started thinking of names.
We have chosen Daniel Robert because it is cute and sounds nice with out surname (Middleton).
We met up with some family last week and told them the name, most of them were sweet and loved it. But not old moan pants (DH mum) of course had some issue. She suggested we name the baby Edward after her father. She didn't say we had to, but she looked like she would be disappointed if we didn't. We both felt very pressurized and awkward.

We are still planning to call him Daniel, but im really confused and upset about what happened. Any advice?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Floralnomad · 02/07/2017 16:37

Btw , I'm over 50 , with dc over 18 and don't use Facebook and have a deceased father , I could be your MIL !

Lancelottie · 02/07/2017 16:39

Mumsnet has been around for years, MummyM, and some of us found it with small children and stayed for life. You do know that people don't stop being parents once their child hits 10, don't you?

(I'm ancient too, though I do still have one school-age child. Now, how many Clive Middletons do I know, I wonder...?)

TroysMammy · 02/07/2017 16:39

People get so worked up about other people identifying themselves on MN. Chill out everyone, just because you don't want to be identified, it's not the law you can't, it's even not MN law.

firsttimemum15 · 02/07/2017 16:42

Pick a name you like. My mil asked us not to name the baby xx

She said she was allowed to not like the name. Fine. I dont care but asking us to not use a name and turning up pn the day baby was born asking us not to use it is very different.

So glad other half stuck to our decision and didnt give in to her batty ways

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 16:43

@Floralnomad

Im not narrow minded, im just new. I joined this website TODAY!
I obviously havent sat their and looked through every forum genere that exists on this site in the last 5 or so hours

OP posts:

Lemondrop99 · 02/07/2017 16:44

I really don't think it's any of her business. It's not her child. And I agree, if it was so important, she could have used the name herself. A person does not have to be dead first to be honoured in a child's name.

This is exactly why we're not telling anyone our name, because we don't want opinions.

You're choices are either to tell her tough luck, or if you accept it's important to her, use Edward as a middle name. There's no way on earth I'd be dropping my chosen first name though.

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 16:47

We are considering using Edward as a 2nd middle name, but quite frankly I would rather just tell her to bugger off

OP posts:

bridgetreilly · 02/07/2017 16:49

I understand why the name is important to her. However, she seems to have forgotten that it is Not Her Baby and therefore, she doesn't get to choose. I would make sure you don't discuss the issue of names again until you have safely written whatever your choice is on the birth certificate.

GreenTulips · 02/07/2017 16:52

Just a side note - DH friend has the initials DR Brown (say) and he's often mistaken for a doctor!!

Floralnomad · 02/07/2017 16:53

You come across as narrow minded when you have been told that lots of different people use the site yet still come back and say why would they .

Blossomdeary · 02/07/2017 16:53

It really is nothing to do with her. Our job as parents and in-laws is to say nowt unless asked. One of my DDs had a name in mind that I hated, but I bit the tongue. Thank goodness they did not use it - but I guess I might have grown to love it, as I love the GC.

The only time I did venture an opinion was when my youngest child felt she could not give their expected DD the name she wanted as another of my children had used it for their child. I told her she should use the name she wanted and never mind that there would be a cousin with the same name. We now have Big X and Little X, and very lovely they both are!

It just so happens that both our names or middle names do appear as middle names for some of our GC - particularly touching for my OH who is quite unwell with a degenerative illness. But in no way expected; and in no way did we expect to have any say.

Next babe you have, keep the lip zipped about names! Just listen to people's ideas ,let it all wash by you and then do what you want!

Lancelottie · 02/07/2017 16:53

I assume there's some backstory here, as so far you have called her 'old moan pants', criticised her hobbies and reading matter, and wished she'd bugger off, all for what sounds like a very mild suggestion of 'how about calling him Edward?'

I really hope you've changed the names you've given here rather than just being rude on the internet.

CiderwithBuda · 02/07/2017 16:54

I think Daniel Edward is nice.

But don't tell anyone until after baby is born. It's easier. Most people aren't rude enough to say anything critical then but feel they can have input until then. Just don't tell them.

I'm 53 by the way. Mum of a teen. Rarely post anything about him though. Lots of interesting stuff not about being a parent.

sodabreadjam · 02/07/2017 16:57

I am over 60 and enjoy a wide range of the forums on MN.

DS gets married next month and I know DCs are planned. I won't expect to be consulted on a name and I won't expect to be told in advance. I won't expect family names to be used.

I'm not keen on nicknames used as actual names but I will keep that opinion to myself and say "that's lovely" when the name is announced - whatever it is.

Lunalovepud · 02/07/2017 16:58

Ignore her.

And ask for this thread to be taken down too - you've put loads of personal info on here.

sodabreadjam · 02/07/2017 16:58

And I think Daniel, Robert and Edward are all great names.

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 16:59

Floralnomad

It wasnt my intention, I just never knew this site was for anything other than parenting. I learned something new today

OP posts:

LapinR0se · 02/07/2017 17:07

You can just say 'oh yes Edward is a lovely name but we've chosen Daniel for this little one, so maybe the next baby' and smile sweetly

BenLui · 02/07/2017 17:08

Troy the OP can make her own choices but given that she is clearly new to MN it seems polite to alert her to the possible consequences of revealing personal information.

Not everyone on MN cares about being outed but most people don't reveal full names.

Mummy it's not just your MIL you have to worry about your husband's colleagues or friends' as well as your sister in law's friends and family might recognise your information and gossip.

If you want, you can report the thread and ask for deletion, then name change and start again.

Ragwort · 02/07/2017 17:09

Another over 50 here .

I think you need to ask yourself why your MIL's opinion seems so important to you, do you and your DH 'defer' to her on other subjects, it sounds as though you are almost a little frightened of her and need to seek her approval.

It is no one's business what you call your child and frankly your MIL is beyond rude to even comment.

What does your DH say about all this?

greendale17 · 02/07/2017 17:10

It is your baby so as long as you and your partner are in agreement tell your MIL that you will name your baby want you like

Alittlepotofrosie · 02/07/2017 17:13

Floral why are you being so aggressive? You don't want to out yourself, great, some people dont give a shit.

Op if your dh wants to use the name id put it in as a second middle name (all my kids have 2 middle names) but if neither of you want to i would tell her nicely you've considered it but his name is chosen and ask her not to bring it up again.

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 17:14

Ragwort

DH is just as confused as I am. He knows his mum can be a bit of a busybody and nosey but this takes it to a new level

OP posts:

crazykitten20 · 02/07/2017 17:14

All her friends are in their 50s/60s. Why would they be on mumsnet?

And people THAT old can't possibly access the Internet.

I think this thread is teaching you to think about what you say and type.

MNHQ

DawnMumsnet · 02/07/2017 17:19

Hi MummyMiddleton, and welcome to Mumsnet.

We've had a few reports from people who are concerned that you've given away quite a few identifiable details on this thread.

It's completely up to you if you're happy for everything to remain as is, but if you would like us to edit out any details, please just hit the report button beside any of your posts.

As you're new to the site, you may want to take a look at our Frequently Asked Questions page, here.

As other posters have pointed out, not everyone who uses Mumsnet is a parent or grandparent. Initially most people come to the site seeking parenting advice – but many of them stick around discussing a wealth of topics from childcare to chicken keeping, and nurseries to news. Do take a look around.

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