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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

MIL doesn't like name???

99 replies

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 14:38

I am pregnant with my first. He is due November 10th. As soon as we found out we were having a little boy we started thinking of names.
We have chosen Daniel Robert because it is cute and sounds nice with out surname (Middleton).
We met up with some family last week and told them the name, most of them were sweet and loved it. But not old moan pants (DH mum) of course had some issue. She suggested we name the baby Edward after her father. She didn't say we had to, but she looked like she would be disappointed if we didn't. We both felt very pressurized and awkward.

We are still planning to call him Daniel, but im really confused and upset about what happened. Any advice?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

gillybeanz · 02/07/2017 15:18

Gosh, anyone who knows you will be able to identify your whole family from this thread.
Maybe mil friends will draw her attention to it and your problem will be solved.

Choose the names you want, it's nothing to do with mil or anyone else, of course except your dh. what name does he want?

MintToBee · 02/07/2017 15:19

I have a Daniel Robert.
It's a great name. 😁

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 02/07/2017 15:23

Under those circumstances I'd go for using the name and telling her to fuck off then

AdoraBell · 02/07/2017 15:23

Simple OP, if MIL doesn't like the name then she doesn't have to use it for her next child.

If you and DH like the name you can use it for your child.

Littlepond · 02/07/2017 15:24

My inlaws were obsessed with my children's names being named after someone and not just "pointless" names. When DS1 was born they asked if the names chosen were family names on my side, when I said no they went on and on about how there weren't any [name]s in their family. I smiled and ignored.
The same thing happened with DS2. Told them the name, they are like "a family member of yours?" - nope- "then where on earth are these names coming from?!"

When DD was born FIL was delighted because her middle name is the same as his great, great aunt or something. (Obviously we had no idea about this when we named her!) He told EVERYONE we named our daughter after his auntie [name]. Turned out my mum also had a great, great aunt (or somesuch) with the same name.

They also told me they wouldn't be using DS2s name and would shorten it as it would be much nicer that way.

They are people who worry greatly about what others think of them, I guess for whatever reason they were embarrassed to tell people their grandchildrens names. Tough, not their decision to make!

We barely see them now. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they have forgotten my kids names altogether...

RortyCrankle · 02/07/2017 15:52

I would tell her you've changed your minds, you are now going to name him Ichabod Ptolemy or similar. When your DS is born and you name him Daniel Robert (both lovely names) she will weep with gratitude and forget all about Edward

BenLui · 02/07/2017 15:57

Rookie mistake, never ever tell anyone the names in advance.

This isn't anything to do with your MIL.

Go with the names you have chosen. It's better to draw a line in the sand about interference now.

I'd ask for this thread to be deleted because it's very identifiable. Someone could tell your MIL.

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 16:01

All her friends are in their 50s/60s. Why would they be on mumsnet?

OP posts:

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/07/2017 16:05

She's had her day choosing names.

Bluerose27 · 02/07/2017 16:07

Whether she called her children after deceased relatives or not is irrelevant! You have chosen a name for your baby. That's that. It's a shame she's not happy but does she seriously think you'd call your child a name you didn't want just to keep her happy?

BenLui · 02/07/2017 16:11

Mummy clearly you are new.

There are women (and men) of all ages on Mumsnet. There are people with no children on Mumsnet.

We discuss lots of other subjects not just parenting, besides which you don't stop being a Mum just because your children aren't small anymore.

DelphiniumBlue · 02/07/2017 16:14

I seem to be going against the flow here, but I'm wondering why you couldn't use Edward in your baby's name if it will make her happy? If it's really a big deal to her ( rather than just a suggestion), it would be a nice thing to do.
For context, my eldest DS was named after both his grandfathers ( one dead, one alive at the time). My grandmother subsequently said that she was upset that we hadn't used her deceased husband's name ( my grandfather) , so we used it for DS2's middle name ( even though I didn't like the name at all), and my brother used her name as a middle name for his DD. Grandma was happy, no skin off our noses, and 20 years later, no-one ever refers to their middle names anyway.

If you have the opportunity to make someone happy, why wouldn't you?

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 16:16

Daniel Robert Edward Middleton

A bit long, but still cute. Will consider. Thanks x

OP posts:

RudeDog · 02/07/2017 16:17

MIL HATED DDs name and wanted me to use the girls name she had wanted to use and didn't get the chance,which was hideous

I ignored - thing with names you can't please everyone, except yourself

FinnegansCake · 02/07/2017 16:18

Quite a few MNetters are in their 50/60s, OP .
I for one hadn't realised there are age restrictions
You have revealed too much personal information.

Allthebestnamesareused · 02/07/2017 16:19

I am 52 and I am on Mumsnet - because I am a mum to a teenager!

MILs don't get to chose grandchildren's names parents do.

Never tell anyone your chosen name until the baby is born and introduced as XXX. That is then their name and there is no discussion!

ChocolatePHD · 02/07/2017 16:20

She doesn't have a say in your child's name. Ignore her.

flumpybear · 02/07/2017 16:23

I'm afraid naming a baby seems to be such a faff when others get involved. We didn't tell our parents but my mum hated DD name (Tabitha) and really tried to get Us to change it, dreadful time just after 36 hours in delivery suite and emergency section, that's all she cared about!
Best thing I think is to say thanks we'll
Consider it, but don't feel pressured, your mum and dad might want a family name too .... even their surname is in your sons name, so nothing from your side ... but if you keep everyone happy there'll be a million names!

ImperialBlether · 02/07/2017 16:23

There are tons of women that age on here, OP.

Your husband should say, "I'm sorry we're not choosing the name you wanted, but this is our baby and we like Daniel Robert. I hope you're not going to make things difficult for us - this is our first baby and we're really looking forward to it."

Floralnomad · 02/07/2017 16:27

If you don't want people's opinions then don't tell them until after baby arrives and you say he is called whatever and it's a done deal . Btw , lots of people who don't even have children use mumsnet OP , I know that might blow your tiny mind but it's a public forum and there are people of all ages and even men on here.

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 16:27

MIL's kids are all over 20. She rarely even uses her Facebook, so I doubt she would invest her time in multiple social media sites. All she does really is going camping and reading very boring books she finds at car boot sales

OP posts:

Original poster

MummyMiddleton · 02/07/2017 16:30

Why would you go on here if you don't have kids? It doesnt make any sense, it is a parenting site

Im not surprised at all that there are men on here, they raise kids too. Dads are just as welcome in my eyes as mums. Parenting is not a gender thing.

Im still baffled as to what a childless person would get from this website though. I don't see any benefits for them. Maybe im just not seeing them

OP posts:

BenLui · 02/07/2017 16:32

But that doesn't mean her friends or her friends' daughters aren't on MN.

You've given your husband's full name as well as his sister's name. Given that you've also been fairly rude about your MIL in public this could come back on you.

There have been more than one case of someone posting a print out of a thread to a family member.

BenLui · 02/07/2017 16:35

Look at the list of board topics, lots of them are nothing to do with children. You can use MN extensively and never post on a parenting thread.

In addition people trying to conceive or people who work with children, Grandparents etc are interested in the parenting boards.

Floralnomad · 02/07/2017 16:35

OP , I suggest you find yourself a different parenting forum as I really don't think this one will suit your very narrow minded approach to life . Have you actually looked at the topics : cats , dogs , product tests , horses , teaching to name just a few , none of which require you to have children to have an opinion .

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