Partner won't even discuss my No. 1 choice

[user1486667116]

I'm not even pregnant yet, we are trying, but we were chatting about baby names. I always loved the name Peregrine either for a boy or a girl. I know it's a boy's name, but I think it would be nice as a girl's name too. I'm obviously not dead set on this, very much up for discussion and have some other names I like too, but my partner wouldn't even consider it. He just says that it's a stupid name.

My question is, is it really that stupid? I'm basically trying to counter his 'it's stupid' argument with 'but other people think it's nice too'.

I have some other, more common names I like too, so I'm sure we will be able to agree on something.

Both times we were choosing names we had a rule that if one of us said no, that would be the end of it. We agreed not to say it lightly without thinking and it worked. DP said no straight away to my favourite name that I'd sort of always assumed would be the name of my first child but it's fair enough. Both times we ended up with names we both like with no arguments

Peregrine is rather risible as a boys name (it's e sort of name that posh people don't really choose, but which people think they like do, so it's a stereotype and an inaccurate one to boot)

It wouldn't occur to me to use such a boys name for a girl.

So I agree with your DH (and indeed think he's put it quite mildly). But as PP put it, it doesn't matter one jot how many of us like it or hate it. He hates it. And that's the end of the discussion.

It happens. I love Iris and kind of always thought it would be the name of my child if I had a girl. He doesn't like it at all. Sucks but - that's life!

I also have to give up on Pippa because his surname has lots of Ps in and it would sound stupid. It's compromise...

I wouldn't use the name op, but maybe he could've phrased his objection a little kinder.

I will echo others and caution against assuming getting pregnant and having a baby to name is an absolute given. Many of us who previously assumed the same now know it is far from a given. Obviously, it is likely to happen without problem for you and I hope it does, but it would be wise to maintain an element of hope rather than expectation.

Flogging, it has been years since I heard someone say something is "previous". Dh thinks I'm making up words when I say it, so thank you

I know it's a boy's name, but I think it would be nice as a girl's name too

Nice for you maybe, but it's such a selfish thing to do to a child IME. Yes, there are loads of names that have 'changed sex' with time but that's not much consolation to the poor sods whose parents were early adopters of the sex change. First they get 14 years of teasing at school, then they have to spend the rest of their lives having the same conversation with everybody they meet, "Yes, it's unusual, isn't it? My parents wanted to be different'.

Attention-seeking by the parents and the kid pays the price.

nooka yes I obviously am aware of the euphemism. I met a little girl called Cherry when I did work experience at a primary school and this association, and prostitution, was the furthest thing from mu mind! I think it sounds fresh and natural and not dissimilar to Cherie or Cheryl, so more like a 'real' name than say, Apple.
Anyway, we're not having it!!

I think that baby names are something both parents need to agree on, and I also think that "I don't like this name" is a good enough reason for either parent to veto a name.

And FWIW, DH and I started having idle chats about baby names years before TTC DC1.

It's definitely a boys name, but it's a terrible boys name. I mean, really, it's a bit of a joke name. I know it doesn't reflect well on me to say that, but back in the real world, it is.

If my DH suggested it, I'd be roaring with laughter, knowing full well he was joking, and trying to one up me on my previous suggestion of, say, Lysander or Ignatius.

@ThisIsANormalLife, well, it's not exactly the Queen's English, I suppose

On names both partners should get as many vetos as they like.