Waterman, Smallwater or Smallhouse?

[CJKnox]

My surname is Waterhouse; DP's is Smallman... We are getting married soon. We're also expecting! Which new surname would you use? I think Smallwater sounds the best?

Wyf
"I thought about that before, when I was pondering a "solution" to the surname/marriage issue, but it's still the paternal surname on each side which gets passed to the DC - I.e. The mother's father's name and the father's father's name, so I'm not sure that everyone would see that as equal either"

I agree with you on that, which is why I said my ideal is similar to the Spanish way, not the same - I would perfect the system by passing on the maternal surname as well as the paternal one. For example, children could have the maternal grandmother's surname and the paternal grandfather's surname (or vice versa). Or they could just choose the two surnames that they prefer or that go to best. There's nothing to say it has to be the men's surnames only that get passed down.

I do think I made a feminist choice and you did not.

I made a personal choice. Fuck all to do with feminist, not feminist or any other sort of judgemental crap that gets spouted. The sneering tone behind your statement is why I would never identify as a feminist no matter how much I believe in equality.

I don't think there was a "sneering tone" behind Poldarks statement.

I agree that keeping your name is a more feminist choice than changing it, but we don't always have to make feminist choices and that's OK.

This debate has already been done to death on MN and it's a shame this thread has gone the way it has - the OP and her fiancé have made their choice and that should be that.

I wasnt a big as feminist when i got married as i am now

I did want dh to change his name and he was happy to but was 'afraid' of his father....wrong word but i cant think of another one

I could have kept my name but i had never heard of a mother having a different name to her children and i didnt want them to have a different name to their father

And i wasnt fussed about changing it, it didnt seem like a big deal...but i absolutely appreciate that that is where the socialisation comes in

Different world now, loads of men and women have different names to other members of their family

I think a portmanteau name is great.
You're lucky that combining them produces decent sounding surnames

I'm really not sneering. I'm a feminist and I try to make decisions and choices on feminist principles. You aren't and you don't. I'm not better than you or smarter than you.

I'm surprised that you want Waterman - you are the Waterhouse part of the equation so you must know what a pain it is to be at the end of the alphabet.
Go for Houseman. I would suggest Housman (like the poets) but you would be forever correcting people's misspellings of it.

Rogue 's' in there. There's only one poet Housman, to my knowledge!

I take it you've all kept your surname?

Yes.

I prefer Waterman

In Denmark everyone has two surnames. You then choose the rarest or prettiest to pass on to the child. So the child of Waterhouse Smith and Jones Smallman would be Waterhouse Smallman/Smallman Waterhouse.

End of discussion. Children getting only their fathers surname (unless the mum's surname is Smith/Brown etc) is absolutely daft.

Great idea OP.

Waterhouse is the best surname from all current and combined options.

Waterman is next best.

Smallman is worst.

So I think Waterman would be the one to go for as it makes a lovely new family name for your lovely new family. Fair to everyone involved too.

Me and dp wanted to do this when we were expecting ds! We both dislike double-barrelling; it really isn't that unheard of. We spent hours trying all the different combinations, but unfortunately my unwieldy hulk of a surname made everything hilarious! We even contemplated using local landmarks and the names of favourite beauty spots as our new, alternative surname. In the end the baby arrived before a decision, so he's been lumped with his dad's name rather by default.

You have much better raw materials to work with; any of your options make credible-sounding names :)

I think it's a lovely idea. At first I liked Smallwater, then wavered to Waterman, but I'm back and settled on Smallwater. It's proper but not as common as Waterman. Think Pete and Dennis. It makes me think of a pretty little pond in the Lake District that's off the beaten track! All the best!

Watersmallman

Honestly, if neither of you are bothered about keeping your name why not just choose one at random that you both like instead of trying to glue your names together? You could pick anything: Watermen is a bit tame compared to Cholmondley-Fortesque-Warner for example

I think it is a great idea! I wish we had done something like that instead I took my husbands and I get embarrassed when I have to give it, though mine wasn't any better! I really like Houseman like others have said. But of the suggestions you gave I would pick Waterhouse.

I think this is a brilliant idea, too. I took my husband's name (double-barrelling would have sounded ridiculous) and I wish we'd had thought of something like this.
I say Waterman

Waterman. The others are too potentially toilety.

Another vote for Waterman.

I like the idea of a portmanteau surname - we considered it but we'd have had to make something completely new up, as combining our surnames only led to comedy effects.

I honestly can't understand why people, especially people not related to you, would have a problem with this. What fucking year are we living in?

Op and her soon to be husband clearly want a family name, but neither wants to take the others name so combining is a simple, practical solution that both parties are happy with. Fucking sensible if you ask me, not that anyone did

It's not a criticism of people who took their husbands name or vice versa, or people who kept their names, or those who double-barrelled. Their descendants will still be able to trace their ancestry (and will probably think that their great, great, great grandparents made an unusual decision that makes an interesting story).

And after all that Waterman reminds me of Pete, and I'm not so keen on Smallman So the other one...which I can double check as I'm on my phone!

I agree! It's logical to me, and what's ludicrous to me is that something quite logical annoys strangers.

Push back the white picket fence boundaries OP. Good job.

Watersmall?

I really can't believe how many people don't get what you're doing & why. It's completely sensible to want the 3 of you to have the same last name. You have no more reason to give up your name than your partner does. We double barrelled ours because it lended itself to it & I really didn't want for either of us to not have a name matching our child. I don't see why some outdated patriarchal tradition should dictate you take DP's name (although if my last name were terrible I would have considered it, I am both feminist & fickle). Amalgamating the names is a great solution as you've two long names. 1 think the name is a nice symbolic way of your families coming together. Waterman is the best. Manwater did make me lol!

I 'get' why the op is doing it. It wouldn't be important to me though. Each to their own. Never been an issue to me not to share my do surname. In actual fact in some circs has been useful.

This thread is hysterical! The difficulty some people seem to be having with the concept is astounding.

fwiw Op I think it's a great idea and agree Waterman is the best option (although I was very nearly swayed with the Baby Houseman possibility...)...